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thoughts on being with married guys

godric317

godric317

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Curious about experiences with DL married bi guys. Anyone ever have one leave their wife and switch teams? Enjoy it while it lasts and hope you don't catch feelings? Genuinely conflicted right now
 
Not worth the drama. if a guy in any commitment chooses to harm someone out of selfishness, that's not going to end well for you. Especially if it's an unsuspecting woman being used for cover. That's a double betrayal. The other woman generally doesn't see she's not special either until it's too late.

It's possible that whatever you're doing with the married guy is only going to make sense to him if he's married. As soon as he leaves, you no longer make sense and he's off. In a way, a lot of the time the other guy/girl/ is a part of that failing marriage and he's going to associate you with it forevermore.

Do gay men leave their wives? Sure, after a suitable amount of damage has made it necessary. I've heard stories about accepting wives who allow their husbands to fuck on the side, I'm sure there are some, but I've never run across that. The Bi guys I have known ended up in families with women. I'm sure out there some ended up with men.

The issue is not the pecker and where it gets stuffed, it's the betrayal of someone else that makes a guy undesirable, the cowardice, and the callousness. I don't want that in my life - and yes, I know this from experience.
 
Yeah, I really can't disagree with that. I've always stayed away from married guys for all those reasons, until this time. If I'm being honest with myself I know there is no future. He's miserable but so far in the closet he can't see the light of day.
 
godric317 said:
Yeah, I really can't disagree with that. I've always stayed away from married guys for all those reasons, until this time. If I'm being honest with myself I know there is no future. He's miserable but so far in the closet he can't see the light of day.
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Wish it weren't so, but you can't love someone out of the closet. He won't come to terms with himself until he finds the courage to stop lying. It's always best with closeted guys to be a friend, but not a boyfriend. You can even fuck him if you're capable of not getting involved, but I don't recommend that. Even if you're not going to get attached, you also don't want to become someone's desperate lifeline.
 
In my opinion casual sex is OK but if I find out they are straight or bi I am immediately turned off to anything but sex and even the sex vibe has to be no shame or guilt sex.

To each his own but I would also stay away from anyone closeted for so many reasons. I don't have whatever it takes to help anyone out of the closet or even listen to the angst and I know that so I would suggest you ask yourself that same question - do you have what it takes?
 
cabinfever said:
In my opinion casual sex is OK but if I find out they are straight or bi I am immediately turned off to anything but sex and even the sex vibe has to be no shame or guilt sex.
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^QFT

It's one thing to have a one-night stand with someone who is in another relationship.

It's something altogether to have a long-term thing with someone who is never going to choose you over the wife.

It's called "sloppy seconds" for a reason: you are never going to be #1. The time is better spent with someone who doesn't have the baggage and where there's a future instead of just "the next time".
 
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