A colleague and I got to talking about dates, or more importantly how far we will go on a first date. We both agreed that sex on a first date is fine, then a straight male colleague joined in the conversation saying that you should always follow the three date rule, (neither of us knew there was such a thing) apparently on a first date you should only get into heavy petting at the most, second date oral sex at the most and third date, well anything goes. So I was just wondering has anyone ever heard of this and follow it through, or was he making it up. He seemed to think that any relationship wouldn't work unless you had followed the three date rule. Is that why im single? Please share your thoughts on this?
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Three date rule? Ever heard of it?
- Thread starter fifer_066
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R
-Ryan-
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first of all, ive never heard of the three date rule.
second of all, i dont follow rules.
third of all, yeah thats why youre single, because you follow these mythical rules
second of all, i dont follow rules.
third of all, yeah thats why youre single, because you follow these mythical rules
boy0boy
Porn Star
Wow, did you lead a sheltered life?! I thought everyone knew the third date rule. But yeah it seems more common among straight daters, never thought of it working with us.
As for me, its just a funny little "legend". Actually following a set of rules saying that the first date I must "heavy pet" and by the second must surrender to oral is absurd to me.
I'm a pleasure delayer myself & a bit of a tease.
As for me, its just a funny little "legend". Actually following a set of rules saying that the first date I must "heavy pet" and by the second must surrender to oral is absurd to me.
I'm a pleasure delayer myself & a bit of a tease.
AlinCanada
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Can't says I have. But then when I was your age there wasn't alot of dating going on just alot of sex.
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3 date rule is so straight world. God people can come up with some really stupid ideas..........oral on the second date?????
I say, skip to the third date if the connection is there. Saves time and makes the next dates even wilder, because on the 4th date you use jello, leather and a sling.
I say, skip to the third date if the connection is there. Saves time and makes the next dates even wilder, because on the 4th date you use jello, leather and a sling.
Never heard of this three date rule.
I do remember my grandparents telling me something about kissing on a first date. Even at that, I didn't know you had to have a date to kiss someone.
The only "rules" of dating are the ones set by the two people having the date, if any. I don't ever recall going on a date where any rules were in force.
I do remember my grandparents telling me something about kissing on a first date. Even at that, I didn't know you had to have a date to kiss someone.
The only "rules" of dating are the ones set by the two people having the date, if any. I don't ever recall going on a date where any rules were in force.
theFallenGod
P-Chan love
I have found that if you have sex too early...especially on the first date there isn't anything more to hope for... you've basically just set it up as a fuck buddy and not a serious relationship...
I have always felt that if there is sex on the first date than I'm usually uninterested in following up on any kind of long term relationship....
I have always felt that if there is sex on the first date than I'm usually uninterested in following up on any kind of long term relationship....
thermodynamics
Resident Enginerd
I've heard of it. And even though I'm single, I firmly believe in it.
I want a relationship, not a fuck buddy. And a relationship requires some time to develop. Waiting until the 3rd date gives enough time for things to happen, yet doesn't put off sex forever.
I want a relationship, not a fuck buddy. And a relationship requires some time to develop. Waiting until the 3rd date gives enough time for things to happen, yet doesn't put off sex forever.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
Yes, the three-date rule is more of a straight thing - here's why. It has a lot to do with What Others Think, and even in this day and age, people look aghast at a woman who would hop into the sack on the first date, even if that's precisely what both participants want.
It's less a problem with gays for two reasons. First off, we don't have to care as much about What Others Think. If they're not aghast at our sinful homosexuality, they probably won't care that we're boinking away from the get-go. Secondly, there's none of that "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" BS that straight couples have to go through. "Will it seem to forward if I kiss her?" "Will he think I'm a slut if I want to spend the night?" Most (if not all) of that goes out the window in gay relationships. Guys like to fuck. We KNOW we like to fuck, and we know the guy we met half-an-hour ago wants to fuck, too. So all it takes is an inclined head and a "So, you wanna?", and away we go. If anything, we cultivate a "he puts out on the first date" attitude, something many women are still reluctant to have assigned to them.
The actual rule is that there are no rules. Straight OR gay. If you both want to climb into bed (or on the kitchen counter) ten minutes after meeting, go for it. If you want to hold off for several dates until you get to know each other, that's cool, too.
Lex
It's less a problem with gays for two reasons. First off, we don't have to care as much about What Others Think. If they're not aghast at our sinful homosexuality, they probably won't care that we're boinking away from the get-go. Secondly, there's none of that "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" BS that straight couples have to go through. "Will it seem to forward if I kiss her?" "Will he think I'm a slut if I want to spend the night?" Most (if not all) of that goes out the window in gay relationships. Guys like to fuck. We KNOW we like to fuck, and we know the guy we met half-an-hour ago wants to fuck, too. So all it takes is an inclined head and a "So, you wanna?", and away we go. If anything, we cultivate a "he puts out on the first date" attitude, something many women are still reluctant to have assigned to them.
The actual rule is that there are no rules. Straight OR gay. If you both want to climb into bed (or on the kitchen counter) ten minutes after meeting, go for it. If you want to hold off for several dates until you get to know each other, that's cool, too.
Lex
sonny10305
Mets Lets Go 2015
THIRD DATE???
Hell, if I don't get laid on the first date there is no second one, much less a third.
Just joking, Seriously I don't believe in rules in this matter, if you hit it off and both wanna go for it, great, but sometimes it takes a second or third date.
Of course there are hook ups whose sole purpose is sex. Gotta love those
Hell, if I don't get laid on the first date there is no second one, much less a third.
Just joking, Seriously I don't believe in rules in this matter, if you hit it off and both wanna go for it, great, but sometimes it takes a second or third date.
Of course there are hook ups whose sole purpose is sex. Gotta love those
xxmen44
On the Prowl
Well, I guess I must be a slut then. 
I usually screw before the first date.
Sorry, but sexual compatibility is very important for me. I'm not going to waste time dating someone who doesn't work well with me in the sack.
Sorry, but sexual compatibility is very important for me. I'm not going to waste time dating someone who doesn't work well with me in the sack.
Just_Believe18
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Never heard of it.
sonny10305
Mets Lets Go 2015
You people are mostly sluts 
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
>>>Are you serious? Sex is overrated.
Actually, sex is underrated.
People will throw over fantastic relationships - even ones with good sex lives - in order to get into the sack with somebody else. Not even necessarily somebody BETTER in the sack, just somebody different. Because on-the-sly sex and with-somebody-new sex instantly adds an extra element of excitement to the sex. And they'll often wonder why they're jeopardizing their almost-perfect life for a briefly exciting encounter.
Why? Because sex kicks major ass is why.
I'm not saying one can't have a great relationship with someone with a enh-OK sex life, or even a nonexistent one. But if sex is important to you, if you love fucking as much as some of us, you're gonna want someone who can fuck well.
Lex
Actually, sex is underrated.
People will throw over fantastic relationships - even ones with good sex lives - in order to get into the sack with somebody else. Not even necessarily somebody BETTER in the sack, just somebody different. Because on-the-sly sex and with-somebody-new sex instantly adds an extra element of excitement to the sex. And they'll often wonder why they're jeopardizing their almost-perfect life for a briefly exciting encounter.
Why? Because sex kicks major ass is why.
I'm not saying one can't have a great relationship with someone with a enh-OK sex life, or even a nonexistent one. But if sex is important to you, if you love fucking as much as some of us, you're gonna want someone who can fuck well.
Lex
When I was actively "dating", this is how I felt too.
I couldn't stand the guys who were "saving it" and I'd pretty much move on and let them play their games with the next poor fellow.
And, you're so right. The few times I waited it out, for days and even weeks, the sex was excruciatingly bad.
Sometimes I think the guys who like this three date rule, or something like it, are just bad in bed and need time to find other ways to get their hooks into us.....
Are you serious?
Sex is overrated.
I think it would be pretty messed up to dismiss a good guy who could be a potentially good boyfriend because he isn't laying it down like you desire in the bedroom.
and as far as three date rule. I have heard something about it, but I didn't give it much thought to even take seriously. I feel that whenever it happens, it happens. Nothing should be set to rules..
Yes I'm serious. And I'm sorry you feel it's messed-up.
I make no apologies for the way I am. I have my standards, needs, desires.
I'm a very sexual being and I need the same from my partner.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
>>>If it's not overrated, I certainly don't see how it is underrated.
It IS underrated. Not as in "it's better than you think it is", but "it's more important than you think it is". People don't sneak around to have meaningful conversations with people. They don't post online for "discrete hook-ups to feel close to someone". They do it to have sex. And good sex can bind a couple together like glue for decades even if they have absolutely no other common ground.
>>>And as far as your examples, are you trying to say that those people who go outside of their relationship for sex are justified because "sex kicks major ass"?
Whether it's justified or not, people DO it. A LOT. In the set-up I gave, no, I couldn't justify myself doing it. But I know of plenty of relationships where it's happened.
Lex
It IS underrated. Not as in "it's better than you think it is", but "it's more important than you think it is". People don't sneak around to have meaningful conversations with people. They don't post online for "discrete hook-ups to feel close to someone". They do it to have sex. And good sex can bind a couple together like glue for decades even if they have absolutely no other common ground.
>>>And as far as your examples, are you trying to say that those people who go outside of their relationship for sex are justified because "sex kicks major ass"?
Whether it's justified or not, people DO it. A LOT. In the set-up I gave, no, I couldn't justify myself doing it. But I know of plenty of relationships where it's happened.
Lex
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It is always interesting seeing people with incredibly limited life experiance and apparently less in the field of sexual and loving relationships make pronouncements....and then to get really chippy about it as well.
It is like the asexuals preaching to us about how unecessary sex is, or the straights telling us why we shouldn't want to fuck guys.
Here's the thing Huntneo et al. No one is putting you down for behaving like virginal schoolmarms from the last century because you want all romance and flowers and someone to love you without any priapic involvement, Fine. Just climb off your white geldings though and stop inferring that everyone who doesn't subscribe to the same ethos or modus operandi is either mentally or morally defective.
It is like the asexuals preaching to us about how unecessary sex is, or the straights telling us why we shouldn't want to fuck guys.
Here's the thing Huntneo et al. No one is putting you down for behaving like virginal schoolmarms from the last century because you want all romance and flowers and someone to love you without any priapic involvement, Fine. Just climb off your white geldings though and stop inferring that everyone who doesn't subscribe to the same ethos or modus operandi is either mentally or morally defective.
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
>>>It's clearly subjective.
No, it's not. Sex may not be important toyou, but it IS important to an extremely large percentage of human beings (especially in the gay male section). And I think that's important to keep in mind.
>>>...and how do you know this? Are you using yourself as a personal example or...
Only been inone LTR - the current one - and our relationship goes so far beyond the sexual as to resemble that little fantasy of yours in the "romantic" thread. So no, not from first-hand experience. But I know people who have done so. One example - one friend has NO contact with his ex except to have sex a few times a week. He actually complains, "She keeps trying to touch me when we're having sex." And I was the only one who thought that was a strange comment.
Lex
No, it's not. Sex may not be important toyou, but it IS important to an extremely large percentage of human beings (especially in the gay male section). And I think that's important to keep in mind.
>>>...and how do you know this? Are you using yourself as a personal example or...
Only been inone LTR - the current one - and our relationship goes so far beyond the sexual as to resemble that little fantasy of yours in the "romantic" thread. So no, not from first-hand experience. But I know people who have done so. One example - one friend has NO contact with his ex except to have sex a few times a week. He actually complains, "She keeps trying to touch me when we're having sex." And I was the only one who thought that was a strange comment.
Lex