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Threesomes ;)

S

StlKj

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Here's the thing about threesomes--you have to be the kind of person who can pull them off. Many couples who open their relationship up to a third find that their relationship wasn't as strong as they thought it was. When you invite someone else in, you are playing with the danger of amplifying any of your own insecurities, either in the relationship or just yourself. What if you are really getting into topping the other guy; does Antares have the emotional fortitude not to be hurt by this? Will he be left feeling like you're enjoying this person more because he's offering something Antares can't? What about just feeling like he's inadequate because he can't give that to you?

What about you? It's interesting that it sounds so far like this person would be invited in so you could top him. What about Antares? Are his bottoming needs also to be met? If you meet a guy who wants to top him, and he's really enjoying getting topped, will you be able to handle it? If the other guy is more into one of you than the other, can you both deal with that?

Unfortunately, sometimes inviting someone in is a way to subconsciously destroy a relationship. Think about how hard it is to develop true love and intimacy with one other person--how prepared are you both to put that in jeopardy for the physical element? At least this doesn't seem just to be a thrill-seeking motivation; that might be a saving grace for you.

If you decide to go through with it, set your boundaries/guidelines. As you pointed out, veto power is necessary, but be prepared to be accepting of that veto. (If one of you wants someone else you meet and the other vetoes, how well will you handle that?) Communication afterward is crucial; you have to be prepared to have the hard conversations without hiding anything or holding it back.

I don't know, I guess I find the idea of taking a loving and fulfilling relationship and inviting in danger to be something to discourage. And if it's a band-aid for issues that already exist, then those issues are only going to be intensified. Whatever you decide, good luck to you both.
 
black hole sun said:
wow, shocked you guys aren't all over this!
Click to expand...

3Way became a reality of mine last month! I'm a late bloomer to it (26). I have a really great friend I knew for 7 yrs. We are all about the joys of sex and nothing else! Of course, we visit each other on our off times or play phone tag. But we have a no frills-no chain type relationship.

Well, I was sitting home alone (kind of like RIGHT NOW!) and he calls me out of the blue at 1:30am. He had another fuck friend with him and wanted me to join. Of course, no hesitation here.

His biggest fantasy was to see me get fucked by another guy while he jacks off watching. So, I show up to his house (he's in his late 40s) and his boytoy (my age range 23-36) stood at attention. I stripped for them as they started playing with their rock hards. I sucked his friend off first, then my friend last. I was the "power bottom" that night; they both took turns fucking me and I took turns sucking them off. It was hotter than I thought it would be! :p:sex:*|*:gogirl:

I never worried about emotional games after the fact, since my dude and I always had an open end friendship.


BUT----knowing my desire for exclusivity....I can't see myself in a one-on-one committed partnership sharing my man around...so for now, I hang with my swinging friends!
 
You seem to be quite open about your desires and needs so I think you could make it work, but keep a few things in mind

black hole sun said:
We also have that I'm a top. Antares is more of a bottom but we've yet to have successful penetration. It's nothing we are going to rush. We have spent the last couple months slowly working him up to taking a bit more length and width and he's done great! It's a no pressure situation.
So anyway another benefit is I could get my topping itch scratched as it's been quite some time.
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- that kinda sounds a bit different though. I think it could potentially be a bit problematic to go into a threesome for the sake of sharing an intimacy that you haven't shared among each other. I don't know your situation well enough to judge it, but if I were in the situation as described I'd have my doubts.

So now to my question! For those of you with more experience, what works and what doesn't work? We want to go about it properly so everyone involved enjoys the experience. We have discussed things about the both of us having full veto power over the situation, and also hanging out with the person in a neutral setting to see if we get along.
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About the hanging out .. sure meet the guy before - but I'd keep it brief. At least at first it should be a sexual only thing. Otherwise things might get complicated, fast. Only take a guy where you are convinced that he is into both of you (and of course both of you should be into him) - if he is just hot for one and accepts that he has to take the other one with him, this won't play out well. To reduce the danger of jealousy you should also always make the 3rd person the "star" of the night meaning focusing on him, so that there is not the "you cared more for him than you did for me" kind of misunderstanding.
 
The question that I always have in situations like this is, "...then what?".

If you want to try a threesome, try it. Set the ground rules. Find a willing person.

But before you do, you're going to have to deal with the "Then what?" issue.
 
BHS, I'm going to play devils advocate...

Why?

Experimenting? Really? Is this really about not being afraid to try new things?

Mate, what you and Antares do is entirely up to you. You obviously have an incredibly strong emotional connection because there are some couples who by now would have thrown the towel in with the frustration of not having a full sex life, let alone making the commitment to buy a house together.

But clearly you guys are at different stages when it comes to sexual activity, experience and prowess. Thats not meant to sound mean or make either of you feel weird its simply fact.

So... I'm struggling to see what Antares gets out of this at this point. Yes it may be a fantasy for him, but reality at this point in time for both of you seems to be at very different places.

Threesomes are inevitably complicated when a couple are involved - that I can promise you. When its 3 fuckbuddies its very different, and thats whats been described here by other posters.

I can tell you when you lay there after wards thinking about the 3rd guy and how hot he was, and how great his ass felt, then the inevitable guilt for you and envy for Antares will be very very real.

The stakes are high for you two BHS... so make sure you two guys are really really really honest not only with yourselves but each other.

Becasue if you are doing this for any other reason you risk more trouble than an orgasm is worth.
 
Threesomes are always a really bad idea. Like the above poster said, it's good up until after the orgasm. Then you are left with yourselves, and possible feelings of jealousy depending on how you both felt during the experience. Become complacent with your own sex lives before you add others into the mixture.
 
Good luck but, I don't think I could ever do a threesome... I would get jealous, and besides, I'm all about pleasing the other person and making them feel good. It's a complete emotional/spritual/obsessive experience for me, and I wouldn't be able to have that feeling for two people at once.

ON THE OTHER HAND... If I was able to ever separate myself from those feeling and just have raw passion for flesh, and was REALLY horny, maybe I'd consider it ;)

I guess what I'm trying to say is be aware of your feeling before, during, and after, and if it's not working then just stop.
 
I'm not one of those people who immediately says all open relationships are bad, but I do look at them with a careful eye.

They seem to work best with guys who have a lot of experience and are comfortable with their bodies and self image. It also seems to be a good sign when the relation starts as open from the very beginning.

Before going through with this, I'd seek help from very experienced tops who might be able to help you relax Antares, rather than seek out a supplement to him. There are huge differences in tops' abilities to prepare bottoms for anal sex.
 
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