tipping your waiter/waitress

[zingerz]

so, recently i was eating at a resturant, and it was not the nicest of places. so, i was not expecting amazing service or anything, but my waitress really really sucked, like no drink refills, no asking us how we were doing during the meal.

however, i could tell she was new, and she was trying very hard, like really hard. one could easily tell she didn't have it "under control," and she seemed almost over worked in a section that was only half full, and she was quite pleasent when we could flag her down and ask her for napkins and silverware.

so, should i have tipped based on how hard shes trying, or tip based on her performance, and if i should have tipped her based on performance what % is that? noting, almost everything we wanted required me to flag her down in some way.

 

[hotb0d]

well it's generally 10%-20% for tipping but if she was bad, I wouldn't tip at all.

 

[jasoncrew03]

Hmmmmmmmm, I would tip her on how hard she's trying unless it really was awful service. But she was pleasant, new and over worked so I would tip my normal amount (25-30%) or a little under. My sister worked off tips for several years (she worked at Planet Smoothie) and since then I've become a very generous tipper.

Now if she was really bad like rude and stuff like that I'd do what my grandpa used to do and leave a penny. It's more insulting than leaving nothing.

 

[Ares]

20% minimum no matter how the service was. Increase from there if you think they did exceptionally well.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

where are you folks getting these numbers?

good grief !

I know that servers work hard - I appreciate their effort - and I appreciate good service -
But there is a recession on - I lost my job - i don't get to go out to eat very often --

I think you're "new" waitress should get 15% no matter what -- especially since you indicated that you were aware she was trying -
when i couldn't get my server's attention - i went to the restroom - and on the way back there - i find her at the "staging area" flirting with another employee -- I complaned to the Manager - that I deserved at least as much attention as her boyfriend -

but to tip over 20% - and call it 'standard" - oh no -- ain't gonna happen -
along with my 20% - you'll get a
"thanks - have a good weekend" - -and that's it !! These people are making way more than I am.

 

[The_Reaper]

I usually use a drink rule.

If I'm in a place where there's free refills, my basis of leaving a tip is based on how often those refills were provided. 1 refill guarantees a tip, while 3+ generally means a great tip...

Although, I don't always drink 3 drinks during the course of my meal...

I think you do need to tip based on performance, not on effort or what you perceive is driving them or not driving them. If she is learning, then a good tip for bad service might set a bad Pavlovian example...

 

[Ellybelly909]

If I tip 20%, it is for VERY good service. For a 20 dollar meal with so so service...$3.00 is a decent tip.

 

[Tadaa]

20% minimum no matter how the service was. Increase from there if you think they did exceptionally well.

..........

 

[LilBit]

These people are making way more than I am.

Depends on where they're working. Some servers make good money, but when I was working at the Evil Place (we don't say its name, but it rhymes with Booby Froosday), I would be lucky to walk out of a seven-hour shift with $35 in my pocket. And my paychecks were generally $0 because my taxes ate up the measly $2.23/hour base pay I earned. And keep in mind that the restaurant industry is notorious for violating labor laws (denying legally-mandated breaks, making people work off the clock, etc.). And contrary to popular belief, we didn't get free meals either--we got a 40% discount, which wasn't bad, but even with the discount, a meal could eat up a good portion of our tips.

 

[LilBit]

Oh, and as for the original question, as a former server, I almost never tip below 20%. 20% is for adequate service, and I give less for lousy service. Rude servers will get about 10%, and that's only because I know that taxes are deducted on the assumption that servers earn a minimum of 8%, and servers usually have to tip out hosts, bussers, and bartenders. I don't want to reward bad service, but I also don't want to take money out of someone's pockets, no matter how lousy a worker they are.

I give much larger tips at places where I'm a regular, and it pays off. I get excellent service, and the servers don't mind if I take a while to eat.

The number one thing to keep in mind when tipping is that in most states, servers earn between $2 and $3.50 an hour. (I believe Oregon is an exception--correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they make at least minimum wage there.) As I mentioned above, servers usually have to tip out hosts, bartenders, and bussers (and in some places, they tip out the cooks as well), so whatever tip you leave, the server isn't going to take all of it home.

Also keep in mind that you're tipping for the table service, NOT the food. If the food is bad or if it takes a long time to come out, it's most likely not the server's fault. (Although a good server will give their guests a heads-up if the kitchen is backed up.)

Some people will also leave a lousy tip because the server only shows up to the table to take the orders, and the food and drink refills are handled by someone else. This is not a sign that your server has abandoned you--different restaurants have different divisions of labor. At the Evil Place, we were supposed to carry out ANY food that was ready, whether it was for our table or not. We also worked in teams, so we were responsible not only for our own tables, but for our partners' tables as well.

 

[seanystarr]

see here in the uk tipping rules are v different. i tip only for v good or exceptional service, if someone does an ok job but nothing above and beyond the minimum standard of good service they will not get a tip, they are alredy getting paid to do their job.

 

[chace1617]

i always give better tips to cute waiters, i don't know if that's appropriate or not fair for the less cute waiters but i am not harming anyone

 

[Swellegant]

I generally tip twenty percent just because. If I felt the service was perfunctory, I'll do fifteen. I've never had bad enough service that I don't tip. If the waiter was cute or charming, or brought us something extra without putitng it on the bill, or if my companion was rude to them, I tip twenty-five.

I had a similar situation to what the OP described: we were at a restaurant my sister frequents in Santa Rosa, and we had a waitress who was very new, I don't think she had any table experience at all; but she was cute and very personable, which probably led to her being hired. Anyway, she was trying terribly hard, but she made a lot of mistakes, not bringing certain things when she was supposed to, not remembering where the orders went, having to be asked for refills and napkins and whatnot. My sister and I argued a bit about the tip, but since I was paying, I tipped double-tax, slightly less than twenty percent... but we also left her a note listing things she could improve on.

Being new only goes so far, and being cute and personable only goes so far; if she was going to keep waiting tables, she needed some constructive criticism. We were nice about it, just pointing out the standard things she did wrong and might want to work on.

I've noticed, though, that people who've had tip-receiving jobs are way more likely to tip well than people who haven't. My sister is very demanding in restaurants, not rude exactly but requiring her bit of service and getting a little pushy if she feels she's not getting it, and almost never tips more than fifteen; but the only time she worked in service was for three months when she was sixteen, and that was a looooong time ago, and it was a Taco Bell and they didn't get tips. But I worked the first six years of my adult life in counter food service, and as a tipped performer, so I tend to be a lot more generous to servers. Most of the people I know who've worked tables or bars for a long time hardly ever tip less than twenty-five percent.

I sometimes think people should be required to wait tables for a period of time; it builds character. They should also be required to work as janitors for a period of time. The world would be a nicer place if people really understood what it was like to serve others.

 

[HornyHenry]

The standard used to be 15% but due to many of the joints cheating on their employees many who worked service jobs will tip 20%.
I learned that the "three-cent tip" was reserved for lousy service, rudeness, etc.
I had to lay three cents on the table when one waitress took my plate away when I was only half finished. I was underweight then so that really pissed me off. The manager of the joint was also rude so it went on my boycott list. I asked for a customer comment card and he said he would turn it in himself. I said no thanks I'll fill it out and mail it later because I knew he would tear it up and throw it out as soon as we left.

 

[ronboy]

Years ago, I was the customer from hell when the service sucked. I was the guy who would leave the 15% tip all in change, at the bottom of the water, iced tea, or milkshake glass. (Don't lynch me, I was young and foolish at the time!)

Today, I give 15% no matter how bad the service. I've grown up to know that people have "off" days. I have them myself.

For exceptional service, I will leave up to 25% of the bill.

 

[Yuki Sohma]

Waiting tables is by far the hardest job I have ever undertaken.

 

[hotatlboi]

I generally tip at least 15% unless the service was completely terrible.

If it was good then I'll do 20-25%.

 

[c750dt]

So long as I like the server (long wait times are a two way street; if the place is jammed packed it's not his/her fault but it the place is almost empty, then they haven't an excuse) I tip as well as I can afford to. Aside from knowing first hand how crappy it is to work food service, I just like them feel good and helping them out. That and when you're known for giving $10 tips on $15 orders, you get treated like a VIP.

 

[cynicus]

I give a 20% tip no matter what. That tip, as someone says, is divided up with a lot of the staff. If the service is really good, I hand the waiter $5 on the way out and tell him/her this is just for you, and thanks!

 

[Willie Boy]

so, recently i was eating at a resturant, and it was not the nicest of places. so, i was not expecting amazing service or anything, but my waitress really really sucked, like no drink refills, no asking us how we were doing during the meal.

however, i could tell she was new, and she was trying very hard, like really hard. one could easily tell she didn't have it "under control," and she seemed almost over worked in a section that was only half full, and she was quite pleasent when we could flag her down and ask her for napkins and silverware.

so, should i have tipped based on how hard shes trying, or tip based on her performance, and if i should have tipped her based on performance what % is that? noting, almost everything we wanted required me to flag her down in some way.

You had to request silverware from your waitress??? When you have to go out of your way to request basic table settings, the tip goes with you. If she can't handle the job she shouldn't be in it. The tip is about the extraordinary performance, above and beyond basic customer service. If she didn't fulfill that, she shouldn't get the extra.