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Tips and Tricks (101 Session) on Guys

lookin4sum1icantrust

lookin4sum1icantrust

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Would love to get some tips and tricks on how to not get disrespected online by dudes and their games to get what they want....... Definitely need a 101 session. Getting tired of talking to guys and getting my time wasted. They ask for info about you and pics, but at the end of the day once you give them what they want or don't give it to them they just stop responding (All they think about is sex all the time). It's getting old pretty fast, and I'm tired of feeling like the odd ball wondering was it something I said or did.......smh..... Also, the superficial thing over looks is annoying too. I think looks aren't everything, personality is a more attractive trait. Of course dudes don't see it that way........ Are their any decent guys in the world anymore? Please Help!
 
Harke the Boeotarch said:
^ The chat sessions you're describing.
Click to expand...

It varies, it can be from interest to sexual likes....... Normal pic to more revealing ones. All depends on how far the conversation last. When they first talk about sex, pictures, and what I get into, is just a big turn off. Getting older, and it's not appealing anymore.
 
The only trick is to be able to start, pick up and maintain a conversation, and to not make dumb blanket statements about people on an app, just because many of them act a certain way. Once you start acting like everyone is an asshole, you'll only get assholes.

A good rule of thumb is - if you are on that app, then others like you are also there and you have to be open enough, and communicative enough to find them. Are you a game-playing asshole user? If not, then others aren't either. Be openminded.

There are no tricks :)
 
lookin4sum1icantrust said:
Getting tired of talking to guys and getting my time wasted. They ask for info about you and pics, but at the end of the day once you give them what they want or don't give it to them they just stop responding (All they think about is sex all the time).
Click to expand...

Easy- say what you're looking for up front. From their perspective, you're wasting their time if you're looking for more social stuff but what they're looking for is NSA-now-sex.



lookin4sum1icantrust said:
Are their any decent guys in the world anymore? Please Help!
Click to expand...

There are nice guys. But the thing with the ever-moving masses looking for specific things in a hookup is that they're clear on what they want. Whether it's at an adult bookstore, a bar, a hookup website or a "social networking app"- if they're just looking to get laid, they'll find it in whatever medium they happen to use.

If you encounter someone who is not there for the same reason as you, don't waste their time. It's up to you to be the assertive one and say, "Sorry, nothing personal but we're not looking for the same thing"... otherwise you just end up giving them the power of making the choice.
 
KaraBulut said:
Easy- say what you're looking for up front. From their perspective, you're wasting their time if you're looking for more social stuff but what they're looking for is NSA-now-sex.





There are nice guys. But the thing with the ever-moving masses looking for specific things in a hookup is that they're clear on what they want. Whether it's at an adult bookstore, a bar, a hookup website or a "social networking app"- if they're just looking to get laid, they'll find it in whatever medium they happen to use.

If you encounter someone who is not there for the same reason as you, don't waste their time. It's up to you to be the assertive one and say, "Sorry, nothing personal but we're not looking for the same thing"... otherwise you just end up giving them the power of making the choice.
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This is the issue, on my profiles I do state what i'm looking for and remind them in the emails what i'm looking for. Also, I'm not the one starting the Convo either, so they approach me first. That is also in person. I mind my own business and they start up the convo all the time. Alot of guys I see don't read profiles either, all they see is looks and want what they want......It sucks.....I don't believe in wasting time, cause it could all be avoided in the first place. I prefer them to read my profile and move on if they think we won't match, and not approach me at all.
 
lookin4sum1icantrust said:
This is the issue, on my profiles I do state what i'm looking for and remind them in the emails what i'm looking for. Also, I'm not the one starting the Convo either, so they approach me first. That is also in person. I mind my own business and they start up the convo all the time. Alot of guys I see don't read profiles either, all they see is looks and want what they want......It sucks.....I don't believe in wasting time, cause it could all be avoided in the first place. I prefer them to read my profile and move on if they think we won't match, and not approach me at all.
Click to expand...

You've hit the nail on he head- these guys are looking at pictures and aren't interested in much beyond how guys look.

Maybe your first question should be, "Have you read my profile?". If the answer is "No", then tell them to read your profile and they still want to chat with you, then they should message you again.

That saves you both some time. Just be prepared to accept that most guys aren't going to message you the second time because if they're looking at the pictures, they want what they want now and aren't interested in waiting.
 
KaraBulut said:
You've hit the nail on he head- these guys are looking at pictures and aren't interested in much beyond how guys look.

Maybe your first question should be, "Have you read my profile?". If the answer is "No", then tell them to read your profile and they still want to chat with you, then they should message you again.

That saves you both some time. Just be prepared to accept that most guys aren't going to message you the second time because if they're looking at the pictures, they want what they want now and aren't interested in waiting.
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Thanks, KaraBulut. I'll start from scratch again. Hopefully I won't be so disappointed this time around. Going to leave the guy scene alone for a while and see what comes out of it.
 
Men are predisposed to be visual creatures. It's biology and about 2 million yrs. of adaptive evolution. That's why more men watch porn. In any case, KaraBulut is right. Just tell them to kindly read the profile - you can forgive the reptile brain running the pleasure centers of the brain but you can always ask guys to climb up the evolutionary ladder and read the profile again :lol:

Be kind to animals :lol:
 
bruce379 said:
Men are predisposed to be visual creatures. It's biology and about 2 million yrs. of adaptive evolution. That's why more men watch porn. In any case, KaraBulut is right. Just tell them to kindly read the profile - you can forgive the reptile brain running the pleasure centers of the brain but you can always ask guys to climb up the evolutionary ladder and read the profile again :lol:

Be kind to animals :lol:
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lmao, Thanks for that. They truly are low down animals (a.k.a Dogs).......
 
These apps are the cyber version of speed dating. It can take 100s of frogs before you find a prince. You're dealing with human beings with baggage, motivation and personalities of every kind and type.
 
You'll "go through" hundreds of guys until you find one or two with whom you click. It's just how it is. Just accept it. Be zen about it. If you can't be relaxed about the high percentage of stupid/rude/douchy/useless guys (or guys who simply aren't looking for the same thing), you shouldn't use dating or hook-up sites.

Do not get frustrated, bitter, irritated, aggressive, or whiny because guys act stupid, rude, or are simply looking for something else than you. And don't be judgemental towards guys who are looking for something else than you. Frustration, bitterness, and judgement are extremely unattractive traits. If you feel yourself getting bitter, take a break from dating and hook-up sites.

Don't complain about too many guys approaching you. I mean, come on. It's an extremely stupid thing to complain about. Just be happy about the fact that apparently, you're desirable, even if most of those guys aren't desirable to you.

Keep a level head, think with your brain and not your dick, and read the signs. You're not obliged to spend any of your time on anybody. If somebody makes a bad first impression, just ignore him. If it becomes clear that somebody is not on your wave length, or is looking for something else than you, or if there is something fishy about him, then politely end the conversation and move on. People don't waste your time - you waste your own time on them. Don't do it.

It usually already becomes clear within the first couple of exchanges whether you have chemistry with somebody or not. Persue those few, and move from online interaction to real world interaction within a short period of time. Drop the rest and move on.

Be honest, clear, upbeat, positive, friendly, and easy-going yourself, in your profile and interactions. It's not an insurance against rude/stupid/douchy guys, but if you're not honest and friendly yourself, how can you expect other users to be?

Couple of tipps that work for me. Good luck!
 
hylas said:
You'll "go through" hundreds of guys until you find one or two with whom you click. It's just how it is. Just accept it. Be zen about it. If you can't be relaxed about the high percentage of stupid/rude/douchy/useless guys (or guys who simply aren't looking for the same thing), you shouldn't use dating or hook-up sites.

Do not get frustrated, bitter, irritated, aggressive, or whiny because guys act stupid, rude, or are simply looking for something else than you. And don't be judgemental towards guys who are looking for something else than you. Frustration, bitterness, and judgement are extremely unattractive traits. If you feel yourself getting bitter, take a break from dating and hook-up sites.

Don't complain about too many guys approaching you. I mean, come on. It's an extremely stupid thing to complain about. Just be happy about the fact that apparently, you're desirable, even if most of those guys aren't desirable to you.

Keep a level head, think with your brain and not your dick, and read the signs. You're not obliged to spend any of your time on anybody. If somebody makes a bad first impression, just ignore him. If it becomes clear that somebody is not on your wave length, or is looking for something else than you, or if there is something fishy about him, then politely end the conversation and move on. People don't waste your time - you waste your own time on them. Don't do it.

It usually already becomes clear within the first couple of exchanges whether you have chemistry with somebody or not. Persue those few, and move from online interaction to real world interaction within a short period of time. Drop the rest and move on.

Be honest, clear, upbeat, positive, friendly, and easy-going yourself, in your profile and interactions. It's not an insurance against rude/stupid/douchy guys, but if you're not honest and friendly yourself, how can you expect other users to be?

Couple of tipps that work for me. Good luck!
Click to expand...

Thanks for that. I try to take it like a grain of salt. I know the pickings sometimes can be very slim (needle in a hay stack), and a lot of the decent guys or want to find the same don't do the online thing (apps, social networking, or chat rooms) and that sometimes make it hard. I'm not going to lie my gaydar can suck a lot times. lol I wish I could find what I'm looking for in the real world, I guess I need to be more patient about it. I really need to get more into groups and volunteering to find the decent ones that understand where I'm coming from and not all about hook-ups and games. Let's all agree that guys can be a trip on every level.
 
It's also up to you as to how you connect with people.

If I walk into a bar and someone offers to buy me a drink, I can't complain about "all the people who try using booze to start a conversation." Every time I go into a department store, the staff try to help me buy stuff! Grrrrr! Then I was on the bike path and all these damn cyclists kept whizzing by!

Lots of these apps exist only so people can fuck strangers based on how they appear. If you want something different than that, you need to find a different way to connect with people other than the apps that are specifically designed for something you don't want.
 
bankside said:
It's also up to you as to how you connect with people.

If I walk into a bar and someone offers to buy me a drink, I can't complain about "all the people who try using booze to start a conversation." Every time I go into a department store, the staff try to help me buy stuff! Grrrrr! Then I was on the bike path and all these damn cyclists kept whizzing by!

Lots of these apps exist only so people can fuck strangers based on how they appear. If you want something different than that, you need to find a different way to connect with people other than the apps that are specifically designed for something you don't want.
Click to expand...

It would be nice if they did have free dating sites online for just LGBT. I'll take a free drink anyday.....lol Just as long as they don't want anything in return, unless friendship or wanting to get to know me. I'm starting to see it is all about one thing. People also can be misleading on the sites on what they want. They say one thing on their profile and it's totally different when the convo starts.

Side Note: Why is everyone comin' for me? I'm not bitter @ all.
 
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