to busy....

[123kid]

Okay so here is the thing, my byfriend and I love eachother dearly. I would do anytghing for him. We met over the summer and fell in love deeply. He lived like 30 - 40 minutes away from me in southern chicago the way south part. Now he has moved to the east into indiana where it meets ilinois. My problem now is not only the distance but his lack of time to devote to the relationship due to him being very bust with his new dry walling job. I am stuck here thinking of him and wanting to be near and yet the distance and his quietness is geting to me. About a week and a half ago we got into this conversatrion that ended with him saying "because im trying to get my shit together i can't have any distractions. I don't thiknk i wanna be in a relationship during that time. I'm not even going to have time for my friends much." WTF he made me sob in his arns. I told him i didnt think anything of what he said and that i would forget it. He said hed stil loved me alot and that it would only be a few months until he gets his shit together. So since then i have talked less and less to him and he is always working and tired. He says he still loves me in all of his texts and i honestly do believe him. Plus he sounded sad when he told me he need time to himself. It hurt him too i guess. I don't realy have a question i just wanted to vent. I just dont understand how i am adistraction when we live far to begin with. That is bullshit. You have to work and sacrafice for a relationbship and him telling me he needs time is not faitr to me. He said that he was being distant these past couple of weeks(september/october) becuase he knew he was going to have to tell me sooner or later. He didnt want it to hurt as much. So much for that. Guys i miss him so much ....................

well i have i have no good advice but................

 

[looseliam]

Well, it seems clear he has made up his mind right now.

I think this decision is more for his well-being and not the two of you - that's his prerogative.

Right now it'll hurt. It will hurt for a bit longer, too. But now you need to worry about yourself.

Although things don't appear to have worked out now, you've no idea what tomorrow will hold.

Don't sit and pine for him, but also don't just let him go.

There are those who have sucessfully become friends after the conclusion of a relationship.

 

[rareboy]

Looseliam is totally on the spot.

A broken heart is easier mended than a broken xylophone.

Buck up. I think he is trying to put distance between you, hoping you'd break it off with him.

See my advice on another thread about sticking pins in dolls and biting heads off chickens.

But don't throw in the towel just yet.

 

[silentalk]

I think if he doesn't have time for you, it might be better if you found someone who did.

Just as you said: relationships need sacrificing, and it's obvious that he's not willing to do so.

Keep him as a friend, but look for a better boyfriend. Now it might be his job that keeps him busy, tomorrow it might be something else, you never know!

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Most people I have met over the years have had their 'horrible years'. I have had months and months of incessant, absolutely never ending 14-16 hour days. I thought of a shower and shave as world's greatest luxuries and yeah, I positively hated everyone, who was allowed to put more than 2 hours of sleep together at one time.

But I loved my BF. And he would fly in and spend a weekend in town with me. I would still work and he would be doing some of his stuff at that time too, but we'd sleep together and we'd hold each other during my short sleep intervals.

He'd go and buy some food and we'll eat on the go. He'd take care of my laundry and he was running my 'home office' for me. I made it good to him pretty soon.

The going was shitty to say in the least. Yet, both he and I agreed that we were going to go thru that shit together. We bitched. We suffered. And everything in-between.

We also had a plan and a vision of a better future for us. And that held us together.

---
Ask yourself, if there is anything you can do to help your BF? Is there any way that you, too, can get involved into his life without being on the sidelines. Tell him simply that you are not into 'sunshine rides' only. Tell him that he means a world to you and that you are willing to put up with lots of hardships to make sure he gets back on his feet and your relationship takes a turn for better.

If he continues to turn you down, you'll know that, too.

If he gives it a chance and you genuinely want to prove that you are putting your money, where your mouth is, things will be probably going better than ever before.

SC

 

[newkidondagayblock]

hey juan,
There would be many people saying go your separate way. I say hang in there...give your BF some time. Maybe he does need his own space...be there for him, maybe not physically, but emotionally. Let him know tht.

Unless he gives you a clear sign that he does not want to continue in a relation with you, he is still yours.

There not much any of us could do about the pain that his distance has caused, but I will pray that your BF stays yours forever, coz these things happen very rarely in one's life.

All the best,
Regards, Kevin.

 

[tonyboy]

Update guys.

Well i sent him a text letting him know that i have some personal days from work coming that i wanted to use and i asked when it was okay to go out and see him in indiana. Mind you he is still unemployed. He responded with "I'll C" Fast forward to today. I ask him again when i would be able to see him and and he said was "You know i dont have a car or a job yet." I respnonded and said " What does that have to do with me." "He then said "You know we talked about this already." He was refering to the incident involving me crying and him sort of breaking it off for a while. All i said was "yeah, yeah i know" What awas i supposed to say. Doesnt he want me to come out there and see him. We still talk almost every day and we tell eachother we love eachother. I still act the same with him and so does he with me. So my question is why is he so hesitant about me going to see him. This is what i would like him to say: "Okay how aboiut you figure out when you want to take your personals and we can see if ill be avaliable but for sure you should defnatly come out here cause I really want to see you too." Doesnt that sound like a better response???? What is he thinking?? Im missing him so much guys

He's moved on my friend.... You'll have to get used to it. I know how tough that is. But it sounds as if it's a fact. He's too kind to tell you right out, sounds to me as if he does have feelings for you, but not enough to keep your relationship going.
You move on as he as done, perhaps some day you two will hookup again.

 

[rareboy]

Yup. He's done. Let him go.

Have a good weep, go out to a movie and then to a good restaurant for dinner and just be glad it ended when it did.

...and then get back in the game.

 

[billybob109]

I say you stop calling him and wait for him to call you. a. he is hiding something
b. he just wants a really good friend not a relationship