I don’t often post on this site, but there has been something irking me for the past little while and I feel that perhaps this would be the best place to get an honest/objective answer. I have been in university for a few years and actively involved in sports that I haven’t been actively going out or meeting guys as I had been in my first year.
However this summer, partially due to having a more relaxed time and working at a part time job in close proximity to a gay area, I’ve met many gay men of all ages. Sometimes after work in the evening, me and some co-workers would go drinking in the area. At one location in the neighbourhood, a waiter caught my eye. However, I quickly learned from a mutual friend that he was in a tumultuous open relationship so I stayed away.
Recently however, the relationship ended so I figured I would take a stab. So one evening while drinking at his workplace, he invited me and my friend to a house party his friend was holding, giving us his number. Before leaving that night, I also gave him my number and told him to call me if he were ever free. Next day we go to the house party. Some of his co-workers and friends (a few of whom I knew) were there and we all basically went to a live performance event. After being flirty with me a bit, he made a first move to kiss me to which I reciprocated, and we basically made out on and off throughout the night, going back and forth to our own friends, and both of us also getting progressively more drunk (me especially).
Later on, we moved on to another bar where the making out continued a little more. During that time he told me he was off work in a couple of days and wanted to hang out with me. I readily agreed and told him to text or call me. He also said he was going to go back to his workplace to drink some more soon, but I wouldn’t be able to go since it was after hours and I can’t legally drink there which was alright. However, first he said he would go outside smoking with his friends. I said I would wait inside for them. After waiting a bit though, I got bored and began to head home. On my way however, I saw him at his workplace with his friends, which was near the bar we were at. I went up to him and told him that if he was still down to hang out in a couple of days to call/text me and also basically implied that the ball was in his court, after a quick goodnight kiss.
A day rolls by/a day before me and him are to hang and my friend see’s him in the evening. He tells my friend that he is having a bbq with a few friends and his sisters the next day (aka the day we were going to chill) and that he (my friend, who is straight) was invited. My friend asked the guy if I could come also to which he agreed. Next day (aka bbq day) he texts my friend the directions but subsequently also tells him to come alone. My friend tells him that he already told me about the event, but the guy didn’t seem to pay much notice of that fact.
So, my friend basically tells me im de-invited from the bbq. I’m rather peeved at that.
Now I am just trying to figure out what do think of this. This was a number of days ago and I am still trying to figure out if he was intentionally being doushy or if he just felt ackward having me ‘meet the family’ so to speak, since they did drink quite a bit there.
Is this guy trying to play some kind of game where I’m suppose to chase after him, or is it just his way of saying he aint interested. It’s naturally a doushy thing to do without giving me any form of explanation, but at the same time I don’t really know the guy so i suppose he doesn’t owe me anything ether.
Should I try to make contact (via text or in person?) or should I just let things be as they are and wait for him to make a move (or not). I am not usually the kind of person to think about these ‘what if scenarios’ but I’ve never been given these kind of weird mixed signals before.
Some of my female friends seem to think he is playing a game, that maybe I ‘gave myself too readily’ and this is his way of ‘exploiting that’ but I have never been accustomed to such things before.
Any thoughts would be awesome!
Thanks and sorry for the incredibly long post!
However this summer, partially due to having a more relaxed time and working at a part time job in close proximity to a gay area, I’ve met many gay men of all ages. Sometimes after work in the evening, me and some co-workers would go drinking in the area. At one location in the neighbourhood, a waiter caught my eye. However, I quickly learned from a mutual friend that he was in a tumultuous open relationship so I stayed away.
Recently however, the relationship ended so I figured I would take a stab. So one evening while drinking at his workplace, he invited me and my friend to a house party his friend was holding, giving us his number. Before leaving that night, I also gave him my number and told him to call me if he were ever free. Next day we go to the house party. Some of his co-workers and friends (a few of whom I knew) were there and we all basically went to a live performance event. After being flirty with me a bit, he made a first move to kiss me to which I reciprocated, and we basically made out on and off throughout the night, going back and forth to our own friends, and both of us also getting progressively more drunk (me especially).
Later on, we moved on to another bar where the making out continued a little more. During that time he told me he was off work in a couple of days and wanted to hang out with me. I readily agreed and told him to text or call me. He also said he was going to go back to his workplace to drink some more soon, but I wouldn’t be able to go since it was after hours and I can’t legally drink there which was alright. However, first he said he would go outside smoking with his friends. I said I would wait inside for them. After waiting a bit though, I got bored and began to head home. On my way however, I saw him at his workplace with his friends, which was near the bar we were at. I went up to him and told him that if he was still down to hang out in a couple of days to call/text me and also basically implied that the ball was in his court, after a quick goodnight kiss.
A day rolls by/a day before me and him are to hang and my friend see’s him in the evening. He tells my friend that he is having a bbq with a few friends and his sisters the next day (aka the day we were going to chill) and that he (my friend, who is straight) was invited. My friend asked the guy if I could come also to which he agreed. Next day (aka bbq day) he texts my friend the directions but subsequently also tells him to come alone. My friend tells him that he already told me about the event, but the guy didn’t seem to pay much notice of that fact.
So, my friend basically tells me im de-invited from the bbq. I’m rather peeved at that.
Now I am just trying to figure out what do think of this. This was a number of days ago and I am still trying to figure out if he was intentionally being doushy or if he just felt ackward having me ‘meet the family’ so to speak, since they did drink quite a bit there.
Is this guy trying to play some kind of game where I’m suppose to chase after him, or is it just his way of saying he aint interested. It’s naturally a doushy thing to do without giving me any form of explanation, but at the same time I don’t really know the guy so i suppose he doesn’t owe me anything ether.
Should I try to make contact (via text or in person?) or should I just let things be as they are and wait for him to make a move (or not). I am not usually the kind of person to think about these ‘what if scenarios’ but I’ve never been given these kind of weird mixed signals before.
Some of my female friends seem to think he is playing a game, that maybe I ‘gave myself too readily’ and this is his way of ‘exploiting that’ but I have never been accustomed to such things before.
Any thoughts would be awesome!
Thanks and sorry for the incredibly long post!
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