To meet or not to meet?

[wendigo3]

I've never done anything like this before, so I am in need of advice.

I've been messaging a guy online through Facebook for about two weeks, and we've started to seriously discuss getting together and experimenting. As a virgin, I'm wanting to jump at the chance to experience any time I can get with another guy, but the fact that I don't even know him raises some questions.
I've given him my phone number, but he doesn't call. We've talked about meeting in a hotel because he lives in the dorms and I live with roommates, but the problem is that he lives only 40 minutes away. I am not familiar with the area, and if for any reason I needed to make a quick getaway, I think I'd find myself in trouble fast.
He is completely straight (so he says) but is interested in experimenting with another guy. He has a girlfriend that is on an internship in Texas (which also concerns me. First of all, I don't want to break up a "relationship," and second of all, how am I to know he's not just saying this to get me somewhere to bash my head in), but she won't be back for another six weeks.

We've both agreed that this would be a one time thing, no strings attatched and while he does seem pretty relaxed (from our chats), a dozen creepy/dangerous scenarios fly through my mind when I think about meeting him.

I am looking for advice and anyone else's thoughts. My first priority is to keep myself safe. I'm not even sure if it's possible for a friendship to develop out of this, and I'm not sure it's work the risk. Thanks in advance!

 

[looseliam]

Your inner voice will be your guide. If it feels funky, don't do it.

Also, I suggest you leave information about this guy with a friend. Such as his phone number, email address, where you'll be, and the approximate time you'll be back.

Better safe than sorry.

But over all, have fun!

 

[Smitho]

Firstly I would not meet in a hotel room first time, but meet in a public open place, like restaurant / coffee shop / bar etc, and meet and have a chat and get to know each other, at least for a meal. Also have you seen him live, on cam, rather than photos, so you definatly know what he looks like? Those, and particularly the first, are musts for me.

If he did not agree to a public place, it is a deal breaker for me and I would not meet him.

 

[mustangman43]

Like Oprah says, "Doubt means don't" If he won't talk on the phone and you feel creepy, pass on this. The right guy will come along. Don't rush.

 

[G-Lexington]

There's a few too many red flags popping up - he's straight, he's in a relationship, he won't call. Pick a time and (public) place to meet up and talk about it. If he refuses - not "wants to reschedule", but refuses - I'd take that as a "no".

Lex

 

[Ohiospeedo]

Follow your gut instincts...if it seems shady to you, just skip it. The guy sounds flaky to me, and I think that your first time ought to be with someone who knows what they are doing.

 

[wendigo3]

Thanks everyone. I totally agree with what you have all been posting.

Too many issues are coming up for me, so I'm just going to tell the guy I'm not interested. He seems nice, but there's no way I can prove that without meeting him.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Intuition.
Your intuition has told you this is dangerous.
Your intuition is very right, so let it guide you.
NO, NO, NO.

If you are a gay man, it is time to learn to hone
your intuition skills, for the world we live in is a
dangerous place, and there are real preditors out
there just waiting for us to blindly leap off a cliff.

Sex at your young age, need not be the first thing.
When I can out at 49, I was a total novice at gay sex.
But the first piece of advice, about gay relatonship,
insist on starting with courtship and friendship.

If you are going to have sex, let it be for reasons of
caring for the other person and him caring for you.
Experimenting can happen with a person who knows
you are inexperienced and does not care about that
for they are devoted to you.
Shep+