To Shack Up or Not To Shack Up

[JeanLuc80]

Situation: Boyfriend and I (both 27 years old, together 6 years, monogamous) have been talking at length about moving in together. First we were just going to rent an apartment, but now we are considering buying a condo together. Both have good stable jobs.

Pros: Taking the relationship to the next level and newer territory
Hopefully more time together
Leaving our parents house lol!

Cons: What if we drive each other crazy?
A break up would suck since we'd both be co-borrowers on the mortgage

I have no reason to believe we will break up. I just get a tad nervous about the mythical 7 year itch/boredom. We have our ups and downs but love each other greatly.

I'm looking for any advice, thoughts to consider, and your experiences with similar situations

 

[G-Lexington]

If the only thing that's causing you hesitation is potential problems (what if we drive each other crazy?) rather than definite issues (he's a control freak, I desperately need my space, he has a roving eye, I'm not sure I'm that into him, etc etc), then I'd say go ahead. My one suggestion is that you get a place big enough that you can have "separate corners" to go to if you need a little "me" time. That's tough to do in a tiny studio place.

Lex

 

[lonnie1]

If you've been together for 6 years, look at it like a marriage. Married people buy homes together all the time. If they break up, you can sell the house or one can buy the other out. Look at it as glue that holds the relationship together. Too many gay guys jettison a relationship because it's so easy. It would be good to have something that makes it difficult for one person to easily walk on the other.

 

[KaraBulut]

A new home is pretty stressful. You could always lease for a year and then buy if you feel you're ready.

On the other side of that argument, after 6 years together, you pretty much know each other's strengths and weaknesses. Interest rates are only going to go up, so if you've put aside enough money for a 20% down, then go for it.

 

[hotb0d]

do you guys still have your own place right now? why don't you try living together in each other's place for a week or so? Usually people will stay on their best behavior for like a 2-3 days as guest but after that, they'll show you their true self. I think that's a good test.

But I think since you guys have been together for 6 years...if problems arise, work it out together. Always remember the other person's good attributes and communicate your feelings.

 

[USEDCAR]

I would rent for a year or two and see what happens god forbid if yall break up it would be much easier breaking a lease then trying to sale a house.

If you buy or rent get an large place so yall wont be under eachother asses

 

[rareboy]

Oh my goodness.

Don't you think it is time that you both grew up?

27, 6 years together and you're both still living at home?

Yes. Absolutely get a place together.

Time to learn how to live as adults in a full relationship instead of everything being easy.

I'm troubled though, that you view making a fulltime commitment to a relationship together as 'Shacking Up', which implies a sordid and tawdry relationship.

 

[slnattak]

It's really up to you guys. Why do you want our advice?

Only you can intuitively know if this is a good idea or not. If you're not all that crazy about it, why do it?

 

[ibill1]

Good Lord. If after 6 years you guys don't know if you can live together then you never will. Does he already do things that make you crazy? I would think you would know this already. But that's not really the point. If you love each other above all else, nothing else is really insurmountable. When my guy would do things that would seem to irritate most people I would just think to myself, that's my boy, and just part of the reason I love him. These things just never really bothered me, and certainly never became an issue. Go for it!