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To the curious/bi/straight guys

innocentbychoice

innocentbychoice

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Ok this post is directed to a very specific group of people. I didn't know where to post it so I figured I'd do it here.

This is for the guys who consider themselves curious, bi or straight and are inside the closet/very repressed and also think of themselves as very masculine. You are the type of guys who are used to chasing, going after and seducing the people you like.

Now, the question is: When you like a guy, have you ever found yourself treating, consciusly or not, that guy the way you would when you're hitting on a girl? I mean being very gentle, caring, thoughtful or whatever your strategy is when it comes to women.
 
uh,no. start out with the buddy act and the jock thing.I only use the method you speak of,if he's the fem acting type and I know for a fact he's gay or bi.
 
only use the method you speak of,if he's the fem acting type and I know for a fact he's gay or bi.
Click to expand...

Have you got a good response ?

OH and why do you use such method with femenine or out boys? Is it because you feel like you can be flirtatious freely and there's no harm or is it because in some level you feel like treating them like women?

Note: Not trying to start any argument here, just curious.
 
innocentbychoice said:
Have you got a good response ?

OH and why do you use such method with femenine or out boys? Is it because you feel like you can be flirtatious freely and there's no harm or is it because in some level you feel like treating them like women?

Note: Not trying to start any argument here, just curious.
Click to expand...

Experience, I do not enjoy getting my Ass Kicked or my Nose Broken and Reset. Been there,done that.
 
^ I don't understand your answer...

1. Was your treating-femenine-guys-like-women method succesful?

a. yes
b. No

2. And the reason to use it was...

a. Feel free about being flirty and gentle to out guys.
b. I feel like the same strategies I use with women work with fem guys.
 
Ok,I see what your getting at now.

I thought you,where talking about trying to pick-up a guy at the Sports Bar or a Sporting Event or the Mall.

One you didn't know his sexual preference.


I would have to say It has a 50/50 success rate.

Most fem behaving guys,like being treated like a lady.

Some it does not work on,they still consider themselves butch or something,even thought they act like they should have a dress on and be called jenny in stead of jeff.

flirting is a totally different subject.

I would say there are like million different ways to flirt with someone. It just depends on several factors. And which approach to use.

I would not use the same aproach at say the Bally's Gym on a hot looking stud that I would use on a guy in a gay drag bar.Nor would I use the same approach I would use in a Drag Bar in a Leather Daddy Bar.

On a Butch guy,I act Butch(jock,Manly,etc..) On a fem Guy,I treat them as I would a Lady.

Now,If the guy your interested in is a friend and you find him sexually attractive,yet he doesn't know your bi and you do not know ,if he's bi/gay and after a while do I start treating him like I would a Women,Hmmm. If,I did I was unaware of it.

Now,If I was say dating a guy and after awhile do I start to treat him as I would my say wife. Oh,sure that is bound to happen,It's called showing affection to my mate/lover.

The broken Nose happened in the parking lot at college 20+years ago,when I tried to Pick-up a straight guy,I thought was Bi/gay. Just because of how he acted,walked, and talked.
 
ejbonk said:
Now,If the guy your interested in is a friend and you find him sexually attractive,yet he doesn't know your bi and you do not know ,if he's bi/gay and after a while do I start treating him like I would a Women,Hmmm. If,I did I was unaware of it.
Click to expand...


This is exactly what I was referring to. Thanks for your opinion.

ejbonk said:
The broken Nose happened in the parking lot at college 20+years ago,when I tried to Pick-up a straight guy,I thought was Bi/gay. Just because of how he acted,walked, and talked.
Click to expand...

Ouch.

PS: Hmm I was hoping several guys would answer but it seems like this particular forum doesn't have much traffic...or maybe it's because it's a saturday.
 
I'd respond but I have no experience here. I've only dated/slept with women. But very interesting topic none-the-less
 
innocentbychoice said:
This is exactly what I was referring to. Thanks for your opinion.



Ouch.

PS: Hmm I was hoping several guys would answer but it seems like this particular forum doesn't have much traffic...or maybe it's because it's a saturday.
Click to expand...

It's a slow day,may pick-up later at night. During the week is busy for some reason.
 
Maybe the lack of answers comes from the limitations you are placing on your respondees. Could you expand the parameters?
 
From your original post you are asking for people with really specific qualities:

1) curious, bi or straight (alright, not very limiting!)
2) inside the closet/very repressed
3) think of themselves as very masculine.
4) the type of guys who are used to chasing, going after and seducing the people you like.

It sounds like you are looking for someone who is closeted, masculine, and sexually confident. I don't think that person is common around here. (personally, I'm not repressed, not particularly masculine, and monogamous) That's why I suggested rewording/reposting.

Good luck!
 
^The thing is that here in JUB we find a LOT of posts about "I like my str8 friend, he does this things that I don't know how to interpret" so I wanted to do a post who touched that subject from the other perspective, the one of the so called str8 guy.

And there's a lot of guys here who aren't out so I thought they would come here but I should've posted this in Hot Topics. ;)
 
That's a good question... this is my personal response.

I'm Bi-Curious (my defintion of it is being Str8, without banging guyz). I'm curious about them sexually to the point of looking, body contact and maybe a little soft foreplay and only if the feeling is mutual.

I'm also very attracted to masculine guyz, and if they have a compatable personality and good character, then I treat them as a best buddy or pal, not as a relationship (boyfriend or a spouse)... and I make this known once we reach the point of really clicking like good friends. I let my guard down a little more for them specifically because true friendship does include a certain degree of compassion, sharing and caring. But it's not meant to be mis-construed as a potential life-partner or heading toward a committed relationship.

I figure in my mind, I can keep my bi-preference afloat if I don't commit to a relationship. You may see that as promiscuous, uncertain, selfish and unstable but I see it as a conscious effort to stand by my Bi-options. I've heard a few say "all it takes is a little more time experimenting homosexually and I'll convert over fully" ...but I don't think that's true for every Bi-Curious or Bi-Sexual out there.

Bottom line (at least for me) If I wanted to play the masculine/feminine role with a partner, then I would most likely sway back toward hooking up with women. Thanks for asking.
 
bluealternative said:
That's a good question... this is my personal response.

I'm Bi-Curious (my defintion of it is being Str8, without banging guyz). I'm curious about them sexually to the point of looking, body contact and maybe a little soft foreplay and only if the feeling is mutual.

I'm also very attracted to masculine guyz, and if they have a compatable personality and good character, then I treat them as a best buddy or pal, not as a relationship (boyfriend or a spouse)... and I make this known once we reach the point of really clicking like good friends. I let my guard down a little more for them specifically because true friendship does include a certain degree of compassion, sharing and caring. But it's not meant to be mis-construed as a potential life-partner or heading toward a committed relationship.

I figure in my mind, I can keep my bi-preference afloat if I don't commit to a relationship. You may see that as promiscuous, uncertain, selfish and unstable but I see it as a conscious effort to stand by my Bi-options. I've heard a few say "all it takes is a little more time experimenting homosexually and I'll convert over fully" ...but I don't think that's true for every Bi-Curious or Bi-Sexual out there.

Bottom line (at least for me) If I wanted to play the masculine/feminine role with a partner, then I would most likely sway back toward hooking up with women. Thanks for asking.
Click to expand...

Ok thanks for your answer.

So I assume the further you can go when it comes to guys is treating them like buddies.

So what do you do when you want to get a guy you like to like you or pay you attention?
 
I first I sense if the attraction is mutual or if it's just me. I'll ask him hypo-thetical non-threatening bi-sexual questions to test the waters. I don't force my infactuation or advances toward him if he answers unfavorably or with discomfort, but I keep him interested in my personality with stimulating conversation and compatable interests. That's it.
 
Everyone is slightly different and the good 'seducer' guy knows and feels his counterpart. Some of it is surely instinct and most of it by far, is a learned experience.

So, you approach a dude in a way, you think will be most productive and will get you, where you want to be in the shortest possible time with the least possible expenditure.

SC
 
If I am reading the posts thus far correctly, it saddens me to find such ready acceptance of the notion that it is alright to woe a guy with only one thing in mind, to get him to bed. Isn't that the very definition of exploitation? Are a few moments of genital pleasure, getting off, and adding one more notch to one's string of conquests worth all that effort?

Personally, I cannot consider the casual sex implied as remotely satisfactory. For me the relationship is the all-important factor. One meets someone, a friendship develops, the bonds of friendship deepen and increasingly the friends find themselves expressing their regard for each other physically. Then comes that wonderful moment when the two of you come to actual sexual encounter and it all happens so naturally and it all seems so right. That is the kind of sex that is not only high pleasure but signifies and confirms the bond that has come to be between partners. Such sex is fantastic and only improves with each repeat.

The journey into the fullness of my sexuality has included long-term relations with both men and women. I have had few partners but all of them remain dear friends to me. While I settled in life as a faithful husband, and have had no sexual contacts with these former partners for many years, the bond of love which I have with them remains strong to this day. That is the kind of enduring legacy of bonding in committed relationship that years of casual sex cannot match.
 
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