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Told my mom...

smash_me_457

smash_me_457

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So I finally told my mom tonight that I was gay (I wanted to tell her before I went back to school). She told me that she had thought this for a while but wanted me to come to her in my own time and when I was ready (which I respect). She said that my dad and her will always love me no matter what and they will always support me, no matter who I am with. As long as I am doing what makes me happy, then they are going to be behind me 100%. She was just concerned that I now have this added pressure from society and all of that kind of stuff, which I understand but there is nothing I can personally do about it. That is just something that she is going to have to come to terms with over time.

I have to tell my dad tomorrow, but I think my mom is going to talk to him about it before I can tell him. She said that she doesn't want to know without him knowing and if she doesn't say anything, then he will probably ask why she didn't tell him. That's fine, I guess. I am more concerned about how my dad will react, so maybe my mom can see if it's going to be bad and talk to him before I do.


But...for some reason, even though I know my parents support me and are relatively ok with it, I still don't feel relieved or anything like that. I thought I would be so grateful that my parents supported me but I still feel like I am letting them down some how. Is this normal? I think maybe what I need is to see that they don't change how they act towards me...yeah? This feeling will go away, right?


Sorry this ended up being long.....
 
It Feels Great having that weight off your shoulders? My coming out to my parents had the same reaction!! they said that they already new.I have been with my partner now for 4 years & they Love him as much as they do me . ps. good luck with youd dad !!
 
congratz on coming out to your mom! i hope everything goes well with your father.... i hope when i come out to my mom im just as lucky..!

Best of luck
 
I think you feel like you have let them down in a way because you probably have. I think no matter how much a parent loves his or her child they can't help but feel a little let down. They know living a gay lifestyle possess a lot of additional stresses and challanges over a straight one. Also, I don't think there is a parent alive who doesn't want to have grandchildren. And they want them from each of their kids, you included. I believe also every dad wants his boy to be a younger version of himself. If his son is gay, the boy really is not a younger version. Also, I don't think a straight person can every really relate to what it is like being gay, no matter how hard they try. The sad reality is both your parents are probably crying a little inside. But the last thing they want to do is show you that. They love you way too much for that.
But, there is nothing you or they can do about it. We're gay and there is nothing we or anyone can do to change it. But I think we can all have a very full, productive and happy life living the hand we were delt. Try and do something great with your life. That will make your parents the happiest.
 
Hey Smash,

Congrats mate... coming out is about courage, strength and determination. Its a huge step that says an awful lot about your character and your values... be proud of what you have done mate no matter how you feel right now.

And that feeling of being a little lost or deflated will pass too. Sometimes we expect the worst and when dont get it it almost seems like an anticlimax. But you are also right it what you said... in time with an ease and a freedom to be who you are, with your parents seeing you as you want to be all the while still loving you... then it will be real.

Dont forget, you havent really changed. You are still you, the same guy the same values. And they know that too. Its now that you have a freedom to find and express love in a way that once seemed to hard to imagine... and that will take some time for all of you.

It sounds like you have some great parents mate... ones that will just be happy to see their son on his journey to finding love and happiness for himself. Give it time mate... the worst is way over.
 
Thank you guys so much. :-)

So my mom just told me she talked to my dad a little and that he has the same reaction that she had: he is gong to love me no matter what. And this is just another part of who I am and doesn't define me.

I am realizing how grateful and happy I am that I have such understanding parents. I thought about it, and I know that they are probably upset, at least a little, and as much as I want to do something to make them not be upset with their son, that is something that they have to deal with on their own time. All I can do is not change how I act around them and just be myself. I know that I have their support and their love and that is all I can ask for. Everything else will come with time.

I am glad that they know this part of my life. Sexuality was never really something that was discussed in my house (whether hetero or homosexual). But I am still glad that they know because this is something that I have figured out about myself and I want to share that with them.

I did it!!! Haha
 
It feels great, doesn't it?? Very happy for you.
 
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