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told my mom

N

njcollegekid

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so i told my mom im bi.

i didnt really plan it out or any of that. was just feeling down for a while, and was home for the weekend so i started talking to her. i have a bit of depression, so she knows that i sometimes feel that way, so she always try to be there for me to vent and such. while talking to her and and saying how i dont even develop actually emotional connections with anyone, part of the statement was "im bisexual, ive been with guys and girls, and find both boring as people."
she probably guessed already, cuz there was 0 reacton, verbal or facial, and conversation carried on like normal, and she clearly heard me. which honestly is the best it could have been. i dont think its a worthwhile topic of conversation, and im glad she didnt either.

interestingly enough, im not feeling as depressed as i was a few hours ago.
 
Letting go of a secret helps free up brain space and eases worry and fear. Congratulations. I'm glad to know you have faith and trust when it comes to your mom because that's how it ought to be. My daughter suffers from depression and I'm glad we have a close relationship. Best wishes to you.
 
That's really great. You are so blessed you have a very understanding mom.
 
thanks everyone.
felt like i needed to share lol. i guess ill slowly figure out how to tell my friends and such over the next few months. may as well. i honestly dont think they will care. though we love teasing each other, so ill doubtlessly take some shit for it at first until its old news.
 
Humor is a good ice breaker especially when the joker can be trusted. You might even have fun coming out to some of them.
 
I think it's actually typical that you are a little less neurotic after coming out. For me, it was kind of a feeling of "getting back to normal," except that I hadn't been in the "normal" territory before, at least not for a long time. I don't know if anyone else felt it that way. Congratulations.

And good luck with that depression. Let me tell you, you never get to a point where it's not there anymore, but you get to a point where you have it absolutely under your thumb. Every time it tries to rear its ugly head, you're like Daffy Duck, "ohhhhh, no you don't!" You can do it.
 
thanks brian. though, i havent really had much trouble with depression for a few years. most of the time its like it doesnt exist at all, but i had a few low days a week for the past few weeks.
found out from my mom today that she spoke to some of her friends (she is in the medical field) and CVS buys its generics from the lowest bidder, and change companies all the time. so there can actually be a lot of inconsistency in the quality and dosage of their generic meds. she thinks its very possible i just got a bad batch of SSRIs.

but ive noticed the best things to do are stay busy and force myself to socialize even if i dont feel like it (since im somewhat antisocial in nature, and depression makes me even more antisocial, but then i get lonely, which makes me depressed, which makes me more antisocial, and on and on it goes). but i have it under control 90% of the time. :)
 
i texted her today asking about her lack of reaction. she said she knew, since i was 12, which was before i knew. WTF!? i mean, clearly she did know, she didnt even blink. but knowing before i could figure it out is just unfair.
seriously, she should have just said something, that way i wouldnt have been playing this game with her.
 
njcollegekid said:
i texted her today asking about her lack of reaction. she said she knew, since i was 12, which was before i knew. WTF!? i mean, clearly she did know, she didnt even blink. but knowing before i could figure it out is just unfair.
seriously, she should have just said something, that way i wouldnt have been playing this game with her.
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It's not her business to out you, though. That's just respect for other people's space. My mother asked me about it directly from when I was in my mid-teens, and it was clear that she knew. I did not come out until I was good and damn ready, though. She knew, but I just wasn't prepared to cross that bridge yet. Things had not healed enough between me and her. Things had not healed enough within me. The feeling was, "lady, you might have a good idea what I look like naked, but that doesn't mean I'm set to strip for you."

That's why it's so important to come out. You can't really hide it, you know. People pick up on it. It nags at the corners of their minds, and they try to deny it's there. It affects how they behave toward you, though. You don't really have secrecy in the closet. People can see you. There is just a lack of trust. That's the only difference that being in the closet makes...at least for some of us.

Maybe that's a bit egocentric: the idea that I could possibly be straight, to know me for five minutes, is laughable, and I really don't do it intentionally. I don't know other people's lives. Maybe it's wrong to act like I do.
 
well i think im definitely on my way out. told a close friend and roommate on the way back from class. he thought i was joking and wouldnt believe me at first. but i convinced him, he seemed totally cool with it, said he never wouldve guessed, and then we switched back to normal conversation.
 
hi njcollegekid,

Great that you have told your mom and also some other people around you that you are bi, and good to hear that all of them are cool with this news. Maybe your mom has given you some -slight- hints in the past? What is her -general- opinion about gay people, about items like same-sex marriage (etc)? Does she has friends who are gay/lesbian?

Maybe you should ask her how she had found out that you were not straight?

Good luck & take care!
 
That's brilliant! Good to get it out of the way. Very happy for you! Glad that you're not feeling as down as you were before. I didn't feel any different after coming out to my parents, until a week or so after, when a load of feelings hit me.
 
Congrats!! I remember when I told my mom and she replied "I already knew." I was floored. But I think parents just know their children (or should know their children.) I also am glad to read that it has helped with your depression. Its been a little over a year for me and I still wake up feeling like a knife has been pulled from me. I look back and honestly don't know how I held it in for so long. I hope with time that you feel the amazing relief that comes with people knowing you for who you truly are..... "The most important point is to accept yourself and stand on your own two feet." -Shunryu Suzuki
 
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