too paranoid about my body to date, tips on how to cope?

[Jimmylikesit]

so long time lurker here, but this is my first post.
i'm 19 years old and have never had a boyfriend, had sex, or even made out with a guy. recently i've started online dating because i'm tired of being single and if i never get out there i'm sure i never will. but whenever i start talking to guys and we hit it off, i tend to make some dumb excuse to not meet because i'm too scared that they are going to reject me for my body, i'm very thin (106 lbs last time i checked) and very hairy, my ass has a ridiculous amount of hair (i won't shave it because i've done it twice before and i always end up with multiple ingrown hairs and it stings like a bitch lol) i also don't have that great of teeth, i'm just so worried that when guys see my body they will lose all interest, does anyone have any ideas to how i can get over this? i really want to start dating and have sex, don't want to be a virgin forever lol

 

[probable]

hm, you sound a lot like a guy i slept with in college. actually, we are still good friends today. i think what attracted me to him was that i like skinny hairy guys and we got along really well. (he even tried to shave his ass once. what a nightmare THAT was!)

one thing is for sure, he had lots of confidence. no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is constantly down on themselves. own your thinness. own our hairiness. hell, even own your teeth. someone out there is looking for you, but you've got to give him a chance to know you!

 

[SomedaySoon]

so long time lurker here, but this is my first post.
i'm 19 years old and have never had a boyfriend, had sex, or even made out with a guy. recently i've started online dating because i'm tired of being single and if i never get out there i'm sure i never will. but whenever i start talking to guys and we hit it off, i tend to make some dumb excuse to not meet because i'm too scared that they are going to reject me for my body, i'm very thin (106 lbs last time i checked) and very hairy, my ass has a ridiculous amount of hair (i won't shave it because i've done it twice before and i always end up with multiple ingrown hairs and it stings like a bitch lol) i also don't have that great of teeth, i'm just so worried that when guys see my body they will lose all interest, does anyone have any ideas to how i can get over this? i really want to start dating and have sex, don't want to be a virgin forever lol

We all have the little imperfections that we all stress about, and I am just now starting to accept them in myself, and get on with my life.

I view myself as fat, my teeth being too stained, my hair being retarded, my clothes not being cool enough, my life not being exciting enough. All in all though, all we can do is try to become comfortable in our own skin, then with that self confidence, people will pick up on it, and gravitate towards you.

Personally I have started going to the gym, started using a whitening toothpaste, went to a mens hair salon to get a cut/ideas, set aside some cash for shopping for my new body, and started to expand my horizons.

I am still insecure, but much less so than I was even just a few weeks ago.

Long story short, if you don't like something about yourself, work to change it, or accept is as part of you, and move on. People will notice you for you, and if they don't, I doubt you would want to be associated with them anyway.

Hope that helped, you arent alone in this by any means

 

[altlover85]

OP, how tall are you?

 

[Jimmylikesit]

i'm about 5 "7

 

[Jimmylikesit]

thanks for the replies probable and somedaysoon.
i know i need to learn to accept myself, i try, but it just doesn't seem to work, i've gotten my haircut and cleaned up and whatnot, but i still can't help but worry, and if i do decide to have sex i'm worried that i wont enjoy it because i'll be spending too much time wondering if he's repulsed or not lol

 

[altlover85]

We all have flaws, but at some point you have to decide if someone is having sex with you there must be a reason. If you're worried about them being repulsed you'll ruin the sex for both of you. I think it's something that you'll learn to accept yourself with time.

Have you thought about counseling or self-help books? Do you have any friends you could talk to about this?

My self confidence improved when friends started telling me I was pretty good looking after I graduated high school. I put an ad up online and people responded and since then I haven't been as self-conscious as I used to be. I wouldn't say that it totally went away, but I'm currently in a 3 year relationship (hairy ass and legs and all) and was in another 2+ year relationship before that, so it's possible.

Don't give up hope!

 

[Jimmylikesit]

i can't do counseling (have no health insurance lol) and i've talked about it with friends. and people tell me all the time that i'm super hot and all, but idk i just dont feel that way about myself, and i tend to think that they are biased because they are my friends, plus they've never seen me naked lol which is the main problem, my face is decent, but not my body

 

[SomedaySoon]

i can't do counseling (have no health insurance lol) and i've talked about it with friends. and people tell me all the time that i'm super hot and all, but idk i just dont feel that way about myself, and i tend to think that they are biased because they are my friends, plus they've never seen me naked lol which is the main problem, my face is decent, but not my body

Personally, I am a hairy mofo below the belt, and in all honesty, it turns me on like no other. Smooth guys are nice on occasion, but I have a thing for a natural guy. Embrace the hair!

Case in point...
http://www.justusboys.com/eyecandy_7285-blake_and_xander-randy_blue.html
*Caution, nekked men ahead*

This is my go to gallery

 

[altlover85]

If your face is decent, that's half the battle. I'm sure with time you'll find acceptance, but don't let that hold you back from dating because you're only young once.

 

[barryash]

hey man you know what evryone has hang ups about what they look like and probably the guys ur trying to meet do to........im 26 and only started online dating myself and finally im meeting someone next week. yes i too am freaking out about my looks but then i think this guy has spoken to me for a few weeks and he likes my personality, surely that is a good sign...

if your really worried about ur body, then there are things u can do. i too am hairy so i have been getting laser hair removal, its helping and giving me back confidence, for your teeth, there is always whiteners etc.... but honestly if uv got a cool personality online then thats a great start

the fact that ur getting dates before u bail out, should indicate that ur not ugly and people want to meet you! right?

 

[Jimmylikesit]

This is my go to gallery

those guys are hot! lol hairy asses turn me on too, but mine is probably about 3x as hairy as those guys' =/

 

[Jimmylikesit]

barryash, yeah guys want to meet me and think im attractive, but im more worried about my body than my face. i would get laser hair removal, but its way too expensive *sigh*

 

[HornyHenry]

The Bear community calls slim hairy men "otters" and otters are often quite popular.
I myself was underweight until my mid-twenties regardless of how much I ate like a pig but I was popular with the many bottoms and versatiles I fucked(and who sucked my cock, rimmed me, orally serviced my feet, etc.) who enjoyed servicing me.
I would have enjoyed havng more body hair and a better beard.
Even if someone rejects you there may well be more men who would enjoy a night with you.

 

[Hot White Trash]

There are guys who would be freaked out by your size because a guy that thin, I hate to say, might be sick or something. I know that there are guys on both ends of the weight spectrum - skinny who can't gain weight and fat who can't seem to lose it. But it just takes greater effort.

There are tons of online resources about gaining weight but most propose two things - protein shakes or eating eggs, which are cheap (for the protein and fat) everyday in addition to your regular meals. You probably fill up fast so you would need to force yourself to eat. And you might even make yourself sick at the beginning, but you will get used to it.

 

[seven2go]

yeah guys want to meet me and think im attractive, but im more worried about my body than my face.

Your FACE is lovely....... and you ARE attractive.......
You're hairy......so what?
LOTS of dudes here go APE ( ) for hairy guys!
With your face you have NOTHING about which to be concerned......anyone who'd turn down a guy such as yourself has their own problems....... .......

 

[Adhesion]

barryash, yeah guys want to meet me and think im attractive, but im more worried about my body than my face. i would get laser hair removal, but its way too expensive *sigh*

A lot of guys like hairy asses, and hair in general because we like men. In fact, a resident JUBer who posts photos is quite hairy (more than you) and rather hot. He also has a large following on here.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=275786

So I wouldn't do a thing to remove the hair. You'll be quite popular among the guys.

 

[Sha-Rok]

I had a body image thing to...What helped me was getting in tuned with my body through yoga and exercise. I think the biggest thing to remember is that we all have flaws and those perceived flaws might be the thing to attract a mate. For example: my partner hates his hair, but I love it! He looks so cute when it grows out.

 

[lilman]

so long time lurker here, but this is my first post.
i'm 19 years old and have never had a boyfriend, had sex, or even made out with a guy. recently i've started online dating because i'm tired of being single and if i never get out there i'm sure i never will. but whenever i start talking to guys and we hit it off, i tend to make some dumb excuse to not meet because i'm too scared that they are going to reject me for my body, i'm very thin (106 lbs last time i checked) and very hairy, my ass has a ridiculous amount of hair (i won't shave it because i've done it twice before and i always end up with multiple ingrown hairs and it stings like a bitch lol) i also don't have that great of teeth, i'm just so worried that when guys see my body they will lose all interest, does anyone have any ideas to how i can get over this? i really want to start dating and have sex, don't want to be a virgin forever lol

omg is all i have to say! i've feel the same way you feel! i'm 5'4 and a few years back i was 107 pounds after graduating basic with a flat bird chest and a 29 waist! i felt so bad about the way that i looked, i actually spend two years trying to stuff my face to put on weight... working out never worked running didn't help, nothing.. WELL i did end up putting on weight! Lol now im 25 and i am currently trying to get back into shape.. i thought that putting on weight would solve all of my problems but it didn't

i'm not hairy per say but i have hairy inner thighs and a very hairy asscrack. i'm black/panamanian so my pubic hair is somewhat straight.. i've been on the fence with it because i can't really shave without getting hair bumps (which suck sooooo bad) and i've only been with one guy since i've been in the military mainly because i've been so self concious.. I know that being this way is unhealthy but men can be so shallow when it comes to looks, plus trying to find a date online is hard enough due to the fact that everyone has a nine inch cock and 6pack abs with huge arms and a nice chest..

I can't believe i haven't seen this post sooner.. it has really made me realize that i'm not the only one with this problem. I personally have seen the pictures you posted and i think you look healthy, and your a very attractive guy. The hair is just icing on the cake.. I really don't get the whole shaving craze. I don't see the appeal in looking like a 4 year old lol.. Thankyou so much for starting this thread

 

[altlover85]

I know that being this way is unhealthy but men can be so shallow when it comes to looks, plus trying to find a date online is hard enough due to the fact that everyone has a nine inch cock and 6pack abs with huge arms and a nice chest..

Hyperbole perhaps?

Most people don't have huge cocks and great abs, so don't compare yourself to them if possible.