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Top or Bottom

G-Lexington said:
>>>i was a top - afraid of bottom - that's changed
im not so special so i can't imagine its so difficult

There's a common theme in life, although it seems more prevelant here amongst gays and on JUB for whatever reason. And that theme is "as for me, so for all". In short, our experiences are everybody's experiences.

We see an attractive guy, and he claims he's straight. Well, WE said we were straight back in the day until we finally accepted our homosexuality, so obviously, that's what's happening here, too. He's just in denial, just like we were back when we were younger. If only this guy would open up, and accept his homosexuality (presumably by letting our cock in his ass), then he'd be so much happier.

There's a gay guy who says he doesn't like Britney Spears. But WE like Britney Spears, so obviously HE does, too. He must just be jealous of her success and musical talent, which is clouding his judgment and letting him enjoy it like he obviously should.

A gay guy says he's a top. Well, we USED to say we were tops, too. But that was just because we were too chickenshit to try bottoming, after which point, we became versatile. So that's obvious what's going on here - this guy's just too scared to try bottoming. and he needs to either loosen up (PDI) or doom hiimself to missing out on great sex and great relationships.

The fact of the matter is - people ARE different. They DO like different things. That's why there's fifty flavors of soda and 200 TV channels. There are people out there who don't like chocolate, aren't interested in porn, and - yes - aren't gung-ho about bottoming. And no, this isn't just a gay thing. Some straights like sex other than the straight-up dick-in-vag routine. But if they're into anal or bondage or dressing up in fursuits, they're going to have to either find someone who is interested in (or game enough to) participate, or decide that perhaps that's something they can do without. (Or, yes, find something on the side.)

If a gay guy doesn't want to bottom, does that mean he's got hang-ups? Possibly. Or he may have tried it, and didn't like it. Or maybe it just doesn't interest him at all. There's a chance it may cause issues in a relationship (although, as I said, I've found a lot more exclusive bottoms than exclusive tops in my day), but if the rest of the relationship is strong, it's something that can be worked through easily enough.

Lex
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made me think lex .............. thanks

im prob doing a bit of the imposing str8 values on the homosexual lifestyle - holes/poles etc.

perhaps

have a great holiday
 
chance1 said:
im prob doing a bit of the imposing str8 values on the homosexual lifestyle - holes/poles etc.

perhaps
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There are plenty of women who don't like penetrative sex (beyond getting pregnant).

And plenty of husbands willing to cheat on them because of it.
 
KaraBulut said:
Actually there are guys (some on JUB, even) who do not like anal. I'm not sure exactly what they do- perhaps they can elaborate- but the issue of top or bottom is completely moot for them.
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One of those would happen to be me.

I personally practice frot (cock to cock sex) which for me is more loving and feels natural. When I was young, before I learned that I was "supposed to be " having anal sex, it is what I imagined doing with other guys. There is also pretty much no risk of disease so no need for condoms.

When you look at it from a wider stance, it seems much more natural than anal sex. For one, while there are many instances of animal homosexuality, none of these include anal sex, and most are genital-genital contact like frot. Anal sex is more about the penetration, which some people (I'm not one of them - I say go ahead if you want to do it) think is just an imitation of penis in vagina sex.

Anal sex is just very dominant among gay people and I remember one guy who told me it was disgusting and that I'm a pervert for doing it (I know for a fact that he is still virgin to this day mwahahahaha - beggars can't be choosers). Thankfully now the guy I'm seeing enjoys frot, too. Wow that last paragraph was totally irrelevant - better shut up.
 
I completely agree with Lex's posts and the guy talking about all of his kinks (to explain that there's tons of sex out there, not just anal).

Personally I'm a top and have yet to be with a guy who I trust enough/am comfortable enough/desire enough to try bottoming. That said, clearly I'm not dying to try it. I'll try it eventually but it's not what I think about, not what gets me off. Maybe I'll end up liking it, when I try it, but I'm in no hurry, as I'm pretty content with all the stuff I like now.

That being said, the original poster asked if "two tops" can work in a relationship. I think this is a really silly question... I like to top but if I really like a guy and he's a top too, which has happened more than once, we just do oral sex. Really intense oral sex. With rimming. Face sitting. Jerking off. Maybe some light fingering. I don't have to put my dick inside a guy's ass to have great sex...
 
BeardedWoof:

Hot Damn!

(And, btw, I've never said gay men should have penetrative sex to the exclusion of other sex such as kink; just that gay men seem irrationally afraid of penetrative sex.)
 
LoveIsNow said:
Anal sex is just very dominant among gay people and I remember one guy who told me it was disgusting and that I'm a pervert for doing it (I know for a fact that he is still virgin to this day mwahahahaha - beggars can't be choosers).
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Thanks for answering my question (which wasn't phrased as a question in my post but was in fact something that I was looking for an answer to..).

It's interesting that you used the word "dominant" - a bit of a Freudian slip?

I think we get caught up in this idea that bottoms are feminine and tops are masculine (or worse, "straight-acting"). Or dominant tops vs passive bottoms.

I bet that if we took a poll about who is more sexually aggressive- someone looking to fuck or someone looking to get fucked, the results would lean toward the "fuckees" being more aggressive than the "fuckers".

Honestly, I don't have a horse in this race. I don't care what people do to get off, as long as they're getting off. The only thing that I find curious is why anyone would limit themselves on any sexual act- try it all, enjoy what you can.
 
P.S. BeardedWolf: I think I like you!
 
I just really really don't like the fact that it's the same hole that the poop comes out of, but I also can't go to the bathroom in public, so whatever.
 
LoveIsNow said:
I just really really don't like the fact that it's the same hole that the poop comes out of, but I also can't go to the bathroom in public, so whatever.
Click to expand...

Here something to think about next time you're sucking cock:

He pees with that.


:twisted:
 
+10 on this thread!
 
chance1 said:
so much easier being a str8 guy - guy is the top - girl is the bottom …:wave:
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Some heterosexual couples do it differently. Quite a number of straight guys have a curiosity…and their straight women also like to experiment. ;)

Your other points are well-taken!
 
update city ...............

my guy has compromised his position - and he bottoms for me - he seems to like it more than he did - doesn't seem to love it though - but my feelings of resenting him for not doing it or for not liking it - are gone - cuz i know he's trying - maybe he will never love it - and im ok with it - i love that he's willing to try

my original thought that thru practice anyone could like it - is probably not accurate - some like it - some don't - some can change - some can't

any other stories of partners who changed their preferences? or couldn't?
 
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