Tough situation. Advice?

[BrokenGlassSnack]

So one of my best friends' ex-boyfriend recently came out to me as bi, because I'm pretty tight with him and he knows he can trust me. So he's REALLY hot and he told me that he was pretty attracted to me and I want to ride him so bad, but I'm scared that

a) best friends ex? Safe territory?

b) what if he's not ready? I don't want to make things awk.

c) he's seventy percent straight, thirty percent gay. That means that he'd want me to do all the work, which I'm fine with, but I'm just scared that he's gonna get scared of the penis as soon as he sees it and want to flee and then we probly won't talk that much anymore.

Help?

 

[BrokenGlassSnack]

Yeah, you're right. I don't wanna freak him out. But I think we're making progress. I've been hinting heavily.

 

[BrokenGlassSnack]

Ouch. Rejected :S

 

[BrokenGlassSnack]

Haha, that was tough. He's a hot guy.

 

[KaraBulut]

Best friend's exes are fair game. It's wise to tell the best friend ahead of time, though. If the best friend objects, then you should reconsider.

Not sure of your motive here. If you were saying, "We like each other and we want to take it up a notch", that might be something that was okay. But I'm not sure that "..I want to ride him so bad..." is exactly the sort of thing that shows respect or good intention toward "a friend".

 

[Telstra]

Ouch. Rejected :S

what's that mean? more details would be nice.

 

[BrokenGlassSnack]

Well, last night I was on facebook and I was just chatting with him and we started talking about how he was going through a bit of a dry spell and how he wished someone was there he could have sex with. Taking that as a hint, I said: "I could help you out, if you want. He said no thanks.

 

[G-Lexington]

He said he was attracted to you. Does he not want to start something because he was with your friend? Or is he looking to hook up with a woman now?

Lex

 

[BrokenGlassSnack]

I think he's just scared shitless of being with a guy. Like, if he wants to, I'll either need to like push him and bully him into doing it, or get him liquored up, neither of which I really want to do, 'cos I want it to be organic.

 

[PlayingwithChance]

He's rejected your offer. Don't waste your time - you've got better things to do.

 

[G-Lexington]

Then skip it.

Lex

 

[KaraBulut]

Sounds like he needs a little time and a lot of space for now...

 

[Ares]

In theory they are, but in the real world this often turns into a big, nasty mess. Depends on how mature the best friend is and if potentially losing the friendship is worth sleeping with a guy who may not really be into you.

ITA.

I would even go as far as to say best friends' exes are off limits. I guess it would depend on the seriousness of their relationship and the conditions of the breakup though. If the friend ever had genuine feelings for this person, it will always hurt a part of her to see her ex with anyone, let alone her best friend. Friends feelings are more important than sexual gratification (IMO).

I'm guessing the breakup might not have been too bad since you apparently remained friends with him?

 

[BrokenGlassSnack]

But I love this guy to death as a friend. I don't even want to get with him that bad (just kidding I actually really do) but I'd rather stay his friend.

 

[Twistedup]

i don't think he wants to hook up with you. i think he just sees you as someone who he can confide in...and seeing as he dated you best friend, he probably has a lot of trust in you. sorry, but most likely he just isnt interested and needs a gay friend, which you should be.

on a separate note...a best friends ex is OFF LIMITS...but i think this is the exception; when is is a platonic best friend and the ex is turned/becoming/experimentally gay. i don't know but i don't really think it's cheating if it's with a the sex opposite of your bf/gf.

maybe i'm just fucked up, but i don't think that that would really count as any sort of back-stabbing of your friend...i mean...it's...well i can't really explain it but thats how i feel.