Ok, so here's my situation. This girl and I have been flirting off and on for the past 6 months or so. We finally hooked up 3 weeks ago. Here's the problem: before we got to the fun parts, we were laying in bed watching a movie and grinding, and I was 100% full mast. But, once the clothes came off, I could not get it up to save my life. I gave her three great orgasms (according to her), but like I said, I could not get it up for anything. Since that day, my libido has gone WAYYY down. As in, I used to jack off every day, and be completely fine. I got turned on all the time. But, I started jogging and swimming every day, starting about a month ago (2 weeks before this girl and I hooked up). And up until that night, I was jacking it like normal. But since that night, my libido has gone down SO much. In the past 3 weeks, I have beat off twice. And I'm not getting random boners anymore either. Plus, those 2 times took me FOREVER to get it up. Any explanations? Can adding exercise into my life decrease my libido? Because I thought on it, and I thought maybe my masturbating was a major way to relieve stress, and now that exercise is my stress reliever, I don't have as high of a libido because I don't use that for stress relief anymore?
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Trouble getting it up at 20 years old
- Thread starter bheron
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The general consensus among the fitness-focused crowd is that an active exercise regimen works to increase your sex drive, not to kill it as you are describing. Stress, on the other hand, can bring down your libido like an elevator in freefall. It's possible that you are physically overexerting your body with your current routine; you might try consulting with your doctor as well as a personal trainer to properly determine whether or not your fitness regimen is healthy for you.
Physical stress might be a factor in this issue, but the behavior you are describing -- as well as the point at which it began to manifest itself -- strongly suggests that the root of the issue is psychological rather than physiological. Your comment about maintaining a strong erection until you shed your clothes suggests that you were grappling with insecurity on some level -- be it in your body image, uncertainty over your potential ability to satisfy her, even nerves over just being in such a raw physical situation with her. This psychological pressure feeds on itself, thus prompting your worrying afterward despite her comments on the seemingly intense level of satisfaction you brought her and perpetuating your continued lack of sexual drive well after the fact.
In closing, I suggest you consult with your physician to rule out any physiological causes, and work on easing your psychological/emotional stress level in the meantime. One simple exercise is to lie down in a comfortable position with your legs uncrossed, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth, with gradual breaths; don't do it quickly or you'll risk hyperventilation). If you're ever dogged by uncertainty or insecurity over the matter, focus on her real expressions of satisfaction rather than your worry that you might not have been good enough, and remember the feeling of that full-force erection that you are clearly capable of
Keep us posted if anything changes. Hope this was of some help!
Physical stress might be a factor in this issue, but the behavior you are describing -- as well as the point at which it began to manifest itself -- strongly suggests that the root of the issue is psychological rather than physiological. Your comment about maintaining a strong erection until you shed your clothes suggests that you were grappling with insecurity on some level -- be it in your body image, uncertainty over your potential ability to satisfy her, even nerves over just being in such a raw physical situation with her. This psychological pressure feeds on itself, thus prompting your worrying afterward despite her comments on the seemingly intense level of satisfaction you brought her and perpetuating your continued lack of sexual drive well after the fact.
In closing, I suggest you consult with your physician to rule out any physiological causes, and work on easing your psychological/emotional stress level in the meantime. One simple exercise is to lie down in a comfortable position with your legs uncrossed, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth, with gradual breaths; don't do it quickly or you'll risk hyperventilation). If you're ever dogged by uncertainty or insecurity over the matter, focus on her real expressions of satisfaction rather than your worry that you might not have been good enough, and remember the feeling of that full-force erection that you are clearly capable of
Keep us posted if anything changes. Hope this was of some help!
The general consensus among the fitness-focused crowd is that an active exercise regimen works to increase your sex drive, not to kill it as you are describing. Stress, on the other hand, can bring down your libido like an elevator in freefall. It's possible that you are physically overexerting your body with your current routine; you might try consulting with your doctor as well as a personal trainer to properly determine whether or not your fitness regimen is healthy for you.
Physical stress might be a factor in this issue, but the behavior you are describing -- as well as the point at which it began to manifest itself -- strongly suggests that the root of the issue is psychological rather than physiological. Your comment about maintaining a strong erection until you shed your clothes suggests that you were grappling with insecurity on some level -- be it in your body image, uncertainty over your potential ability to satisfy her, even nerves over just being in such a raw physical situation with her. This psychological pressure feeds on itself, thus prompting your worrying afterward despite her comments on the seemingly intense level of satisfaction you brought her and perpetuating your continued lack of sexual drive well after the fact.
In closing, I suggest you consult with your physician to rule out any physiological causes, and work on easing your psychological/emotional stress level in the meantime. One simple exercise is to lie down in a comfortable position with your legs uncrossed, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth, with gradual breaths; don't do it quickly or you'll risk hyperventilation). If you're ever dogged by uncertainty or insecurity over the matter, focus on her real expressions of satisfaction rather than your worry that you might not have been good enough, and remember the feeling of that full-force erection that you are clearly capable of
Keep us posted if anything changes. Hope this was of some help!
Thanks for the advice! It was the first time in nearly 2 years that I had had sex (LONG dry spell, I know). I think I know what you mean. I'm completely fine with my cock size (I'm 8 inches, so I'm happy there). And for the most part, I'm pretty content with my body. I am a little less toned than I want to be, but other than that, I'm pretty happy with my body. This might also help: I was pretty drunk that night as well, and I had jacked off twice earlier that day. I had also been up for nearly 36 hours straight. I am leaving in 2 months for a year abroad in Europe, so I think I might be subconsciously worried about that, but if it is going to affect my sex drive, I'm just like, come on. Really? And like I said earlier. I gave her 3 orgasms, so she was pretty happy. I might have the opportunity again today, so I've been holding off beating it for the past few days. And trust me. It's pretty rough. I'm 20 years old, I should be able to just go and go and go. Another weird thing that sorta worries me is that since we hooked up, it is a lot harder for me to get a boner, and when I do get one, I have to really concentrate on keeping it, otherwise, I lose it at the slightest loss of concentration.
syoBsUtsuJ
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Testosterone makes up for the majority of our libido ... maybe you're just gay.
I think you should see a urologist to make sure that it isn't anything medical.
I agree you should see a Doctor. But, you say the first time you had JOd twice, we're drunk and tired. That explains the first time. Since then I thnk your problem is performance worry and stress about it. You are right to prepare for you next time by not masturbating for several days. Then try not to worry about it. When you are with her the old hormones will kick in and you will be off to the races.
BiAggieGuy
On the Prowl
Have your doctor run a test of your testosterone level. That is the #1 cause of lack of interest/libido. If that turns out to be the problem, there are plenty of options to treat it. If it is low, he'll probably send you to an endocrinologist who will figure out why and which treatment is best.