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Trust and Disappointment

nadawon80

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i never intended to start a “blog” on these boards, mainly because i wasn’t sure if i would have the time to maintain one. however, something recently happened that has left me confused, frustrated, and disappointed and i needed to get it out some way. writing it down seemed to be the best catharsis.

a few months ago, i started talking with someone i met through JUB. as the relationship grew, we began talking on an almost daily basis through instant messaging outside of JUB, e-mail, and telephone calls. i really enjoyed talking to this person, and from their postings on these boards where they professed to highly value honesty, integrity, and trust, i was looking forward to a good friendship. since this person lived only a few hours from me, he asked me about possibly meeting. at that point, from his recent postings it appeared he was involved with another JUB member. i asked him about this, not
wanting to get caught in the middle of anything. he assured me the other guy was “just a friend” and their postings were his attempt to “get the weirdoes on there to leave me alone.” although i thought that was an odd thing to do, after more talking and
reassurance, i agreed to meet with him for the weekend. unfortunately, i had a major crisis which required me to be out of town for a period of time and was unable to meet. we decided we would re-schedule for later this month. to his benefit, during my crisis this person was very supportive, often calling to check on me. that made me feel so
good, and kind of waylaid any hesitation i had about the “other guy.”

after my life returned to a semi-normal state, i was able to get back on JUB. after catching up on a lot of posts, i noticed the status of my friend and the “other guy” had now graduated to calling each other “boyfriend” on the boards. i had no problem with this, because i would never begrudge anyone from being happy. when i congratulated my
friend on finding someone, he laughed and told me there was nothing to it and the other guy was still just “helping me out,” and still wanted to meet with me. ok. after this i sort of distanced myself from the situation. i had some real questions about the whole thing, and just had this gut feeling that everything wasn’t legit.

then something happened that has resulted in my feelings of confusion, frustration, and
disappointment. i found out this guy shared personal and private stuff, about me, to another JUB member. when i asked him about this, he completely denied doing it. when i provided him with proof it had happened, he again denied doing it. i’m confused and
frustrated as to why a person i considered a friend would do what they did, then deny doing it after being shown proof. i also feel betrayed because i trusted this person. i’m disappointed that people who profess to value truth and honesty, apparently do not.
 
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