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Trust

JASON0980

JASON0980

here i am
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what does the word "trust" mean to you?

is there anyone you trust fully?

what does some one have to do to earn your trust?

is a relationship possible without it?

i'm having a few issues with trust at the moment and i would love to hear some outside opinions on the matter. :confused:
 
Trust is knowing that the other person will tell you the truth no matter how much it might hurt.

I trust my animals.

To earn trust, the person must never, I repeat, never, be caught telling a lie. One lie and the trust is gone.

Relationships are possible without perfect trust. Anyone can compartmentalize. If, however, the other person is lying about addictions or is cheating with another lover or is a pathological liar about everything, then there can be no relationship at all. Cut your losses and run like hell.
 
'Trust' is knowing that someone has your best interest at heart and speaks the truth. It needs to be earned and that happens by simply being yourself and being truthful. Apart from myself, there's no-one I fully trust (and even I sometimes don't trust myself...), sadly. But it is necessary for a succesful long-term relationship.

*hug*?
 
Trust--that is a tough one for me. Everyone who has ever been close to me has let me down in some major way---- and I have overlooked some pretty big issues to keep some of those relationships from exploding. But, I eventually drift away from them and maybe that is why I am completely alone right now.
 
](*,)](*,)

welcome back. you have been missed.:(

eM.](*,)
 
JASON0980 said:
what does the word "trust" mean to you?

is there anyone you trust fully?

what does some one have to do to earn your trust?

is a relationship possible without it?

i'm having a few issues with trust at the moment and i would love to hear some outside opinions on the matter.
Click to expand...


Oh My God!!!! YEAH!!! Jason is back!!!! (*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)

And your married!!!! :gogirl::gogirl::gogirl: Missed ya!


As to your question, for me, trust is something that is earned, not given. And if someone has done something that damages a trust that has been developed, it is very hard (but sometimes possible) to rebuild part of the trust but probably never fully.
 
we had a huge blow up over it last night and i slept on the couch. it was bad. this morning we sat down and talked over everything. we came to the conclusion that it has to be there. this is the first time i've ever been in a relationshipm where my partner didn't trust me. i can't deal with that, i have never given any reason for it.

he swears that he does trust me. "i don't trust other guys" he sais. but shouldn't he trust my judgment then?
 
It's rather cryptic, but I think I have a general idea of what's going on. Jealousy is a bitch? I think it's good that you talked things over, so you both know where you stand. Give it time and things'll work out, I'm sure.
 
it sounds like you two may need marriage counseling....well....mainly him....but since it is a couple issue....both of you should go.

It is of course unhealthy to be overly possessive. I have known people in the past to be like that but I don't know if that is what is happening here. If that is what this is....that would drive me nuts as well.
 
Well, well... look who's back. (*8*)

Jason, my dear, trust is a hard thing to come by... I can count on one hand the people in my life I truly trust, and even they are shaky at times.

But, I *do* think it's possible to trust someone and not trust their judgement at the same time.

Mutual trust doesn't negate differences of opinion. Any two people are bound to disagree about things no matter how much they love and trust one another.

Don't confuse disagreement with lack of trust. It's human nature to see things differently from time to time.
 
i think trust is tantamount to any relationship.

and welcome back jason. :)
 
JASON0980 said:
what does the word "trust" mean to you?

is there anyone you trust fully?

what does some one have to do to earn your trust?

is a relationship possible without it?

i'm having a few issues with trust at the moment and i would love to hear some outside opinions on the matter. :confused:
Click to expand...
1. It means taking someone at their word without second-guessing them or wondering if you've been told the truth.

2. My partner

3. Be trustworthy over the long-term.

4. Yes, but it is admittedly more difficult and sometimes less certain. Trust is sometimes fluid and in matters of degree. For example, I can trust that someone will not lie to me nor cheat on me, but not trust that they will remember to pick up eggs or spend money responsibly. Whether or not a relationship is possible without trust depends on two things: First, the type of trust that is absent; and 2) how important the absent trust is in YOUR value system. Only you can answer these two caveats. And, you have every right to have your own value system and beliefs. I mention that because it's important to be faithful to them, or you will have a chronic unsettled feeling and lowered self-esteem.
 
A Trust is a lump sum of money that can be set aside for later use when it's most needed.

What? It's hard to 'trust' somebody when you distrust the entire race as a whole.
 
wow so many things to comment on...

first thanks for the "welcome backs" :)

second: Metta and Joshua, we are generally really good about working through our differences. we argue but we don't give up until its solved. we understand that we have different points of view on most things. (i kind of hate the comparison, but it does fit really, we are like a watered down version of darma and greg) but this issue is one that has come up too many times. i do believe that this is just as much my fault as it is his. there has to be a reason he feels this way. there must be something that i am doing to make him feel that he can't trust me.

third: NeoSlacker, i think you may have hit on a big part of the problem. trust and logic. he is a very logical person, and i hadn't really thought about it, but i guess i am asking him to go against logic to trust me. that really makes sense.

fourth: Mikami and GL, i have always believed that a relationship is nothing without trust. it has always been the one thing that i have always had in every relationship. its odd that with chris i have everything that i have never had in a relationship, but not the onething that all the others have had.

last but not least: Eagle653, that's another thing, he does trust me to get the eggs, clean the house, fix dinner. he knows that if it falls under my jurisdiction, it will get done. that, if its concrete, there's no worries. but if he can't reach out and touch it, he doesn't trust me with it.
 
I am one of those people who will grant, Anyone, complete Trust, without "conditions". That is ... my Trust is not something that has to be "earned"!

However, it can be Lost, in the blink of an eye, should I feel they have "crossed" me. :slap: [-X

I am "naive" enough to believe in, and hold to Heart, the "Goodness" of my fellow man. But, the moment that they may break that Trust, even after given a second chance, which I will also grant, "carefully", then it is gone for good! :mad:

Amazingly, I have not been disappointed as much as it might likely seem to be expected to happen! (group)

TRUST can be a very fragile "thing"! Yet, something so important! If I sense that someone doesn't trust Me, not only does it make me weary of them, but, also, induces a sense of sadness for them. I think ... how "tenuous" their Life must be! Not being able to Trust another! #-o

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
I trust the people I love to let me down from time to time, just as I will let them down. I trust that they will never do so with intent, as I will never do with them. They are human, and they will falter, as will I. I trust that because we love each other, we will work it out somehow and forgive. I trust that in a situation where they know a decision would be a major violation of my trust, they will make the right decision, just as I will for them.

I don't believe that trust is about never hurting each other. That's not realistic. But building, maintaining, honoring someone's trust--those should be the top priority in the decisions we make. It should be something that is gained through actions, not words of reassurance. It should be extended tentatively at first, until proof exists of a tendency to keep it. Then it should be extended more firmly, with the conditions for its survival made very clear to those involved.

It's not fair to say one trusts another without providing those conditions--such trust is built on sand, and is ever shifting. You can never please someone who dangles trust in front of you on a string, making you earn it over and over, and pulling it away at the sign of the least little thing. It's not something that hangs there to be reached for, only to removed on a whim. It's the foundation of the entire relationship, and it should be solid until one proves it is no longer deserved.


I also believe that if one cannot give trust, then one can never truly love you in the way you deserve. And often, it means that person cannot be trusted as well.
 
^^ Killjoke ...

Awesome post!! :=D: (group)

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Hey Jason,

Thanks for clarifying.

The problem is your bf's. He is in need of help for this issue.

His inability to trust is rooted in far deeper issues and he is obviously self-destructive when it comes to relationships.

He's just going to keep testing and testing this until it drives a permanent wedge between you.

It is all about jealousy.

Tell him to grow the fuck up and see a therapist to get this monkey off his back. You can't do it for him.
 
I suspect the root of all this is that he feels that he is not good enough for you. As if you are in a different league and he is not going to be able to hold on to you forever.

Insecurity presents itself in all sorts of different ways, you know.
 
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