I keep getting stuck on this. When I see a skinny twink, I immediately think child, therefore I'm immediately turned off. I'm not talking mentally (because I've met some ridiculously mature 18 year olds), but simply physically. I just can't have sex with someone who looks like a kid, it's a huuuuuge turnoff. Flat chest, bird legs, arms like sticks, I just can't do it. I just don't find it hot (and I'm fully aware that many guys do find it hot, just not me). Total dealbreaker. I have been turned on by average guys with a bit of a beergut before (like my ex-boyfriend's roomate, he's gay and a construction supervisor, and damn his roughneck attitude and outright beefiness makes him hot as fuck - I'd have asked him out but he's only in town for a few days each month).
So you guys are right, I'm sort of single by choice.
By bigger, I mean roughly as thick. I don't really care about height. I'm actually on the short side. The blown over in a stiff breeze part is correct though about the vast majority of guys who hit on me. It's one of the main reasons I stay away from our two gay bars. They're FULL of guys like that. And the vast majority of those guys in bars are incessantly annoying anyway.
In a bar like that, you can either be the guy who doesn't fit in, or the guy who stands out.
Anyway, your story is interesting to me because my guy and I were the twink and the thick guy who got together. I was 6'2" and 155 pounds when we met. He could've wrestled for Vince McMahon. Years before he and I met, I was not my own type, even skinnier then, and had probably the same ideas about twink physiques that you do. I didn't just want to be with a thick guy, I wanted to be one myself. I was so skinny. I had no shoulders, no arms...
But I did believe in self-improvement, so, around the time I met him, I was cycling a lot and swimming regularly. I did go to the gym but not consistently. Legs are really easy for me…I'd climb the stairs in tall buildings just for fun, and it paid off in my thighs. And I knew I was cheating my upper body because legs were so easy and fun. But I was still making progress, despite not being totally disciplined about it. Bottom line though, I had abs for the first time in my life, some definition in my arms, but other than my thighs, I was now a fit twink instead of a skinny twink. But definitely not a wrestler.
Fortunately I was also figuring out that I did not have to be my own type to be attractive to someone else, that I shouldn't argue when someone else likes how I look, and that based on my friend's advice, maybe it's good when two people have their difference, physically as much as any other characteristic. And this guy and I hit it off doing the Calgary / Edmonton thing for a year.
14 years later we're still going strong. Neither of us are thrilled with our physical condition to be honest. My 30's was all about career, and though I've almost caught up to him in weight, I'm still not a wrestler, I'm just out of shape ex-twink. Hah! Hitting 40 was kind of a wake-up call and we're both getting back into more activity and fitness, already feeling better and long overdue.
But it's funny how perspective helps you figure things out: I know now that I'm not really built like a wrestler. I'm at my best physically when I'm lifting weights but I'm never going to bulk up like him. And I figured out one other weird thing: I always assumed I had skinny shoulders. I don't actually - and I didn't know it until I saw a naked pic of myself from behind in the last couple of years. Turns out I have a thick waist. I don't get the V torso effect as easily, especially when I have weight to lose, but my back and shoulders aren't actually that bad. Gives me a reason to work on them...
Anyway, point is I don't know what's going through my guy's head when he signed up for a twink and I didn't stay that way, and I signed up for a wrestler who has kinda gone soft around the middle. Both of us are really working on fitness goals and getting back to how we feel healthiest, and frankly sexiest, so our 40's aren't a write-off of regrets. But both of us are still nuts about each other in the mean time. It's not like we're waiting until 2 years of workouts go by before we have sex.
I guess the physical aspect is important and fun, but it's not the only thing, yeah?
It's one thing if most of the guys you meet completely turn you off, but I was actually suggesting you consider what it is about you that turns them on. What is it that you're bringing to the table from their point of view? From the point of view of someone who wants something different than himself...
