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'Turning Off" Sex Drive

  • Thread starter Thread starter Zildjian
  • Start date Start date
Z

Zildjian

Guest
I've pretty much accepted that I'm going to be single and celibate the rest of my life, due to my ethnicity but primarily my boring personality.

So...is there a way for me to 'turn off' my sex drive? There must be some way of 'terminating' that inner desire for a relationship. I really need to take care of this, because at 22 years old, it's wearing me out emotionally and mentally.

Thanks.
 
Dude,

That drive is in for something, trust me on that one. It is not there by any accident at all.

You look like a million bucks in my books, together with your ethnicity.

See, having an allegedly 'boring personality' is a huge liability in life. You do not want that at all.

Now, let's put together the two things, if we may?

You have a healthy sex drive, which you say, is not being fulfilled primarily due to your boring personality.

How about you lighten up a bit, and getting yourself some qood ole, quality life for a change?

See, give it a try. An honest, whole-hearted try. You want to do that, trust me.

SC
 
Umm... Simply Put, No...

And I really hate to quote something so overly used but... There is someone for everyone...

There really is and as long as you dont have a problem with your ethnicity then why should everybody else?

You just have to think to yourself "Fuckem... If they dont like me for who I am than I dont need them around!"

And boring is in the eye of the beholder... Some would find me boring because of my interests. However, my bf does not.

What do you like? What do you like to do?

I mean, everybody is different... That is how boring is determined... Not being unique. At least to me...

Look up the term différance... Google it then read the wiki article... It explains how that we are all the same in that we are all different.

We define each other. I am me not because of my hair color or eye color or whatever but because those attributes contribute to the differences between you and me.

Ergo, you are not boring unless you are:

1) The exact same as everybody else...

or

2) Think that you are boring...

In the event that it is the second one. Than you are your own downfall. You reflect your innermost feelings...

AKA Come on man have some confidence in yourself. Define yourself, Be proud of who you are...



And as for the sex drive... Um, we have a dick and balls for a reason! Sorry you cant jsut turn it off...

That is a basic human instinct... And that cant be killed.


-ISM
 
You may not believe this but if I was single and noticed you across the street I'd be cutting through traffic to ask you for coffee

You can't kill your sex drive; its there for a reason and be grateful for it - as will some lucky recipient

22 is pretty young to be deciding your life will be one of celibacy

My advice is to make some changes in your life - find a job, move out, get involved in your community where you'll meet like minded people and get on with your life. You have a lot to give and once you realize and accept this others will too and will want to know and love you

I wish you enough
 
I have noticed a common theme in your threads and you really need to accept your sexuality and I don't mean just the fact that you are gay. You need to accept that you are a sexual being with drives and urges that are natural to all human beings. You shouldn't look at it as some onus, but as a gift. Trust me when I say, one day, when you are lucky enough to meet a guy that pushes all the right buttons for you, you will never be so happy as to have this powerful masculine sexuality.
You are young and need this time in your life, while you are single, to come to terms with yourself as a man who has sexual needs and desires. You can no more rid yourself of this drive than you can rid yourself of your maleness. It is in your DNA. I can understand it is frustrating, even frightening, when you don't have a channel for sexual expression, but hang in there, your day will come.

Our sexuality is a force to be reckoned with not denied or rejected. Sex is not just about your genitals, it is the way you express love to another person with your body.
 
I wonder how you think you have a boring personality. Did someone tell you that or do you naturally believe that? You are certainly a goodlooking man and I can't believe you have a boring personality.

Sometimes, people think they are boring because they may be shy. I am not saying you are shy, but if you are, don't confuse shyness with boredom. Two different things.

The others are right. Sounds to me like you need to get outside yourself and involved with others. Remember something...people usually NEVER perceive you the way you perceive yourself. However, you can give people confusing "signals" that may be saying that you have, in some way, some characteristic that you don't. In other words, if you BELIEVE you have a boring personality, that belief will be absorbed by other people and they too will believe it. So STOP!!
 
Zildjian said:
I've pretty much accepted that I'm going to be single and celibate the rest of my life, due to my ethnicity but primarily my boring personality.

So...is there a way for me to 'turn off' my sex drive? There must be some way of 'terminating' that inner desire for a relationship. I really need to take care of this, because at 22 years old, it's wearing me out emotionally and mentally.

Thanks.
Click to expand...

Wow

I don't know what to say...

I really don't...

Hugs "n" stuff

Don
 
All I can say is that being black and gay is tough and lonely. The very people that come to ask for our nice warm bodies to sign petitions for equal rights and social justice will cast us aside like garbage because we don't fit their aryan ideals. It sounds harsh, but such is life guy... and if you don't realise it now you are in for another few decades of sheer misery. That is... unless you cast aside nonsensical ideals that you will have a boyfriend and live happily ever after. I mean, having a boyfriend is nice, but you are finally the only person you can truly depend on. You may end up with more problems being with someone than being single.

I've tried dating, believe me I've tried... but the fact of the matter is, for people like us, the gay community offers nothing. It's just an emerald palace made of plaster of paris. For people like us I can't even say we have eachother, because I think many blacks who are gay are not even out... and would probably live a straight life anyway. Also, be wary of some of the older gay crowd. There are some that find a level of youthful vulnerablity attractive and can smell it like sharks do blood. They tend so forge relationships with young people who are both naive and have low self-esteems and eventually dominate their lives because this level of control of the younger party validates the age and experiences of the older party.

Pretty much all I can say is that you have to find other ways of making yourself happy and content than being in a relationship because all this emotional and hugging bullshit people keep peddling to you here certainly isn't helping when there's no hope to be had. Take up hobbies, travel, get out of the place you are now and go meet new people and learn about your world outside of being gay. If you meet someone in the process, then many blessings to you, but if you don't, you are a richer and more well rounded person because of your experiences and that's something that will never leave you.
 
How silly.

How anyone can say that at 22, they're ready to throw in the towel and commit sexual hari kiri?

In fact, you can chemically emasculate yourself and effectively submerge your sexual libido, but why?

Based on all of your posts, you apeear to be a young man in conflict; full of anger and frustration and self-doubt. A lot of this is perfectly normal for the emotionally immature, but you seem to have a defeatist attitude that isn't going to be particularly helpful in getting ahead or getting head.

It is not your ethnicity that is holding you back, although it may be the unfortunate choice of where you live and a very negative attitude in your community toward homosexuality. If you are unwilling to move to a more gay friendly city and invest in the really hard work of making a career and life for yourself, you may be doomed to live the life you seem to be most unhappy with.

But it won't be as a result of circumstances conspiring against you; it will be as a result of your own inaction.
 
Can we call an early end to the pity party already?

When I was in my early 20s, I was in a tiny conservative town, working the late night shift, with absolutely no chance of hooking up with somebody. (Pre-Internet days.) And even then, I didn't want to kill my sex drive. I still enjoyed getting horny and masturbating, and knowing that someday it would be someone else rather than me yanking my crank.

You're not cursed, sir. There may be hurdles ahead, but it's up to you whether or not you want to overcome them.

Lex
 
OK I checked out your profile and didn't see any pictures, so maybe you posted them in another thread or whatever, so I can't say whether your hot or not. Also didn't know you ethnicity until one of the above posters said something.

First and foremost, the gay community is a bitch, and the racial gay communities are even more so. It always has and always will be, however it's not impossible to find friends.

You obviously have the internet. Get on craigslist.org and find your area, and find some gays around you.

While you can chemically sterlize yourself, it's ill advised. You can't turn off your sex drive, you can only suppress it.

I'm 20 years old soon to be 21, I'm a gay hispanic man who still lives with his parents. So yes I've resigned myself to probably not having a relationship while I'm living with them, but I'm saving up money, and looking for possible roomates, so I can move out when our lease is up.

emotional bs or not, if you hate yourself others will follow. And race really doesn't have that big an impact unless you place massive importance on it. Be open to the possibilities believe it or not everyone has problems, it's how we deal with them that's makes us who we are. So who are you?
 
I'm 20 years old soon to be 21, I'm a gay hispanic man who still lives with his parents. So yes I've resigned myself to probably not having a relationship while I'm living with them, but I'm saving up money, and looking for possible roomates, so I can move out when our lease is up.
Click to expand...

Don't speak too soon on that. I'm 24 and I've chosen to stay with my parents until they can get on their feet and I can save up more money (I help them out with bills and stuff). I always made it known to guys I dated that I have my own car and career, but I live with my parents because I love them and we help each other out, and if they can't accept that move on. And I have a wonderful guy who accepts that.
 
i read a couple of your other posts and it's really getting to me. in the first one, you asked if you could "erase someone from your memory." now in this one, you want to "turn off your sex drive." your brain may function in similar ways as a computer, but come on! there's obviously no delete or escape button. start accepting the things in your life that you can't change and stop trying to erase them. you know it's not going to happen, so what's the point in asking when you know the answer in the first place? accept these things and move forward.
 
I totally agree with you. Its hard finding a boyfriend or a gay friend in that matter all gay guys imo act stuck up.


I wouldn't even go to the craigslist everyone wants a good fuck. Every gay guy wants a Brad Pitt looking guy

the good thing about being straight theres a girl for everyone you can weight 350 pounds. And there will be a girl for you

I meet so many nice cool girls its just sad that i can't date any of them Because of my sexuality. If there was a pill i would take it in a flash second.
 
>>>Jesus! I get your point and all, but why the hell do you have to call it that?

If this were his first post of this ilk, then I wouldn't have called it that. I would have directly addressed his frustrations and worked harder to elevate his mood.

As it is NOT his first (nor second) thread announcing that he's destined to be alone and celibate for his entire life (since he's not white), I didn't.

Yes, in fact, I have "ever gotten frustrated". Most notably, I got extremely frustrated reading his post. I do my best to try to objectively read people's problems, suggest alternatives, and even try to make them feel better about themselves. I've spent time (here and via PM) trying to get people to a better place. But they have to be willing to put in some effort. If not, sorry - I ain't gonna help.

Sorry for also being human. Perhaps the gargoyle avatar threw you.

Lex
 
>>>the good thing about being straight theres a girl for everyone you can weight 350 pounds. And there will be a girl for you

How many 350 lb gay guys have you asked out?

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
>>>the good thing about being straight theres a girl for everyone you can weight 350 pounds. And there will be a girl for you

How many 350 lb gay guys have you asked out?

Lex
Click to expand...

None because theres none around me. And also im sure they are stuck up like the skinny gay guys.
 
So you won't talk to any of them, because you're positive that none of them will talk to you?

You see the problem there?

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
So you won't talk to any of them, because you're positive that none of them will talk to you?

You see the problem there?

Lex
Click to expand...


If i see a gay guy out there i talk to him he don't want to talk to me. They are all the same
 
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