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  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

uggh :(

The only thing I can tell you is there is only one you! You have something to offer someone! You need to find your own space to be who you are and have others discover who you are.

I have no idea where you live, or if there are any clubs or organizations that support gays and lesbians. Sounds like your school does not have any gay clubs you could join.

Being a Christian does NOT mean you can't be with a guy however. You need a more enlightened perspective on the Bible, not what has been taught you or preached to you. We are all made in Gods image so therefore God is also gay. I was taught that God loves us all, not just a select few, that fit the model that is preached to us.

You do not need to come out either, but you should find some outlet to explore who you are and what you need.
 
At least you have a place to vent to gay guys without going or coming out... and easy access to gay porn.
 
deepthroatmydick and swallowmysperm....

you two should REALLY get together....lol

seriously, though, i know your frustration....but when i was 18 there was no internet to conect with other gay people for support, so there was no JUB....

i also certainly would have been beaten if i had come out, as i saw other gay guys be mercilessly hassled and occasionally beaten...and yes, i did intercede sometimes ....

while it certainly is easier these days for a gay person in highschool, i know that it is in no way safe or accepted in many families, schools and towns

but you are certainly welcome here on JUB, and you can always vent to us.....

just be warned that in spite of this being cyber space (or perhaps because it is) there are some uncaring, insulting people here as well who will tell you to grow some balls and come out to everyone, or you are cowardly and doing all gay people a disservice by remaining closeted and if you don't come out....fuk you!

please!! ignore them....you know what is safe and acceptable for you and your situation.....when you are prepared and ready to come out, you can find courage and support...

until then, welcome to JUB....it really is a great place and it can really help you with your dilemma ... especially in the no-flame zones available in some of the other forums...:wave:
 
AS far as maintaining your faith is concerned, there are Christian denominations out there that are VERY supportive of us. Try the Episcopal Church (We in NH even have an out Bishop!). The UCC (United Church of Christ), and the Methodists, are also known to be supportive.
 
I am in the compldtely same situation ugghh I hate it when my girl friends (not girlfriend) drag me out to those chick flicks. I usually end I up crying, not because it is "nice and sweet," but because I know I can't have relationships like that. I don't think having a secret boyfriend would work out; my school is way worse than most bout gossip spreading, and my life would be over until I got out of his town (and I might go to college here) :(
 
While they're all ooey gooey, I'll give you my perspective, however abstract it may be.

Things can always be worse. Much worse. Always expect the worse and prepare for it, that way all surprises will be good ones. There is always a bigger fish, just as there is always a smaller one; things can get worse, but things can get better more often.
 
deepthroatmydick said:
Ok, i know this is a common thing, but i realllllly need to vent!

Ok, so my name is Jake, and i have known i am gay for probably 7 or 8 years (I am 18.) My whole family is totally against gays, and i am pretty close to all of my family on my moms side, but not my dads side. I am pretty sure that no one in my family would talk to me the same ever again if i told them (they are very religious) I also am a Christian, and it is against my religion to be with a guy :( I am not particularly small or anything, but i know i would get the crap beaten out of me at school if i came out. (i am a senior in highschool) I act straight, so no one would discover that i was gay, but its so hard not to make comments or check guys out! Its also really hard when i see people holding hands or kissing! I am not a very emotional person, but this subject brings me to tears fairly frequently. Why does this have to be so fuckin unfair! Its not like i have a freakin choice of who i am interested in!

:cry: :cry: :cry:

Sorry to vent here, but i couldnt do it to anyone in my home life :(
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Hi Jake! :wave:

Firstly, I applaud you for being out to yourself at such a young age. It took me much longer to admit to myself I'm gay. In regards to your family, we're in the same boat, so I know exactly how you feel. But, you can be a Christian AND be gay. Don't let anyone fool you, God loves gay people, at least that's what I believe. God made you gay, so just be yourself. There are also plenty of gay friendly churches, and lots of gay christian sites. Be sure to check out the JUB religion forum too.

You don't *have* to come out to anyone, sweetie. Coming out to yourself is what's most important. Just do what you feel is right for yourself, and most of all what you feel is safe.

Best of luck, and take care! (*8*) (*8*)
 
Hi Guys

I've moved this thread over to Coming Out & Relationships
 
I feel you on that. I am not out by any means but my family is the same way, religious and thinks same-sex attraction is wrong. I think in situations like this we just have to love and accept ourselves unconditionally. I'm sure that my own sister and mother wouldn't treat me the same if they knew, at least for a while anyway.

I'm a believer too and I have been looking all over the internet for an explanation to the bible verses that say being gay is wrong and I came to a conclusion about that: Moses was the one who called "men lying with men" an abomination and it could not have been inspired because we were made the way we are and did not choose to be this way. Moses also said eating pork and shell fish was an abomination too and people eat pork and crabs and stuff all the time and are in no danger of judgment or anything like that.

I didn't mean to turn this into a religious thing but I'm just letting you know that there is nothing wrong or immoral about you and the way you feel. I've just started to come to terms with my sexuality myself. You are definitely not alone in this. ;)
 
I started a thread not too long ago, and got some helpful advices.

http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=234813

I'm a staunch catholic myself, I go to church, I attend church seminars, prayer groups, help out in charities and events, etc. And yeah, if I do come out I guess everything's going to change to.

You know what though? I've found some pretty nice people giving pretty great advices on this forum. In fact, there was this other Malaysian guy in more or less the same position that I am in and we've been chatting quite a lot.

If you ever feel like needing someone to chat or to vent on, there's plenty of us JUBbers here.
 
Hey Jake. I think everyone here knows to some extent what you're going through. My parents are religious, but not fundamentalist. I was scared to come out to them at first, but I knew I had to so I wasn't lying to them. They ended up being surprisingly supportive. They still have their homophobic moments, but I know they're trying their best.

I also congratulate you on knowing so early you're gay. I didn't know for sure until I had my first boyfriend, 6 months ago. Well, I knew, but I wouldn't admit it to myself.

Anyways, only you can have a feel for how your family will react. If you think they will not be at all supportive, my advice is to wait until you are completely self-reliant to come out to them. Whether that's right after you move out, or after college, or whenever. That doesn't mean you can't date boys, and be out to your friends, it just might be best to wait until you don't need your parents' support anymore to come out to them. On the other hand if you think they'll disapprove, but still support you in other aspects of your life, then why not just come out?

I'll send you a pm about religion, because I've got a lot to say, and I don't wanna get way off topic here.
 
deepthroatmydick said:
I live in Georgia, USA. Very anti-homosexual place.
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Except for Buckhead, Decatur, Athens...

It gets better after high school You're going to find a whole other world when you get away for college.
 
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