ugh. I just want a BF already :(

[hitboyqt]

I'm totally not trying to make a thread to feel sorry for myself. But damn! I still haven't found a guy that I like and that makes me feel comfortable enough to be with intimately I'm not getting any younger and I'm afraid I'm going to eventually be hopeless =P

And just an FYI. It's not because I'm antisocial or anything, I go out a lot and meet a lot of people. But it usually consists of 9/10 guys that I'm not attracted to and 1/10 that I am but turn out to be a slut =/

I really don't see any purpose to this thread, haha. But yeah, how long did it take for you guys to find your "someone" and did it start of sexually and then move into more or did it start off as a friendship and then into a relationship? Because I wont have sex until I'm in a relationship and I can't seem to get into a relationship

Maybe I'm a prude =/

 

[M4P]

I met him in the summer of 1993 about a month after I'd been dumped

We were casual friends until Dec 1996 when he called me between Christmas and New Years. We got together, dated for a year and then he moved in and we've been together ever since

Keep going out and meeting new people. He's out there looking just like you

Good luck

 

[martin6]

First guy me make sexy-time with

Second guy me make sexy-time with

Third guy me make sexy-time with And now I actually like this guy. I'm not a big slut-- this is over a period of almost 2 years! I'm kinda just responding to the "won't have sex without a relationship" part. Not that you're in the wrong, I'm just sharing my experience(s).

 

[thewiz]

Funny you would post this because we just had this conversation over dinner tonight.

In the short time I've been out, I've had one serious relationship that lasted six months. Since that time (about two years), I've dated but it seems like most in the gay world find that you have sex, if it works, then you date; if not, you move on. Kind of like buying the car and then taking it for a test drive.

I think sometimes people don't know how to date. One of the guys at dinner, who is drop-dead handsome, said he had never been on a date and he's 23! I had shared that when I tried to be "straight," you asked someone out, went to dinner, perhaps danced, and then went home (to different places!) This pattern repeated itself for some time and then, perhaps, you might have sex although some friends went all the way to a wedding date before they did.

I think there is too much "rush" in some people. We want to rush in, rush and find the right guy, rush in and have sex quickly, then rush out of any relationship to find someone else to plant the seed.

Relationships are not easy and require a lot of work. Long-term relationships (in couples I know that have been together decades) are not smooth and have had lots of rocks, turns, sharp turns, and roadblocks along the way. But working hard, keeping focused on the individual has allowed them to grow and bond together.

Don't worry, you'll find someone that will cause you to want to take the time to build a relationship. Sometimes, I think we just have to be patient (easy for me to say, it is one of the things I worry and fret over the most)....

 

[Martkell2007]

I found him in 2005, and after 2 years of on again, off again, I called the quits on it a few weeks ago. We never completely got together for one reason or another. So technically, at the age of 24, I've never had a relationship. And I've gotten to the point in my life where it isn't that important. As long as I have friends and family I'll be alright. I still dream of love, but if I die alone, I won't die feeling lonely.

 

[maxpowr9]

My problem with relationships is that I am way TOO independent. A lot of it has to do with me being a bit of a control freak. It is a tough thing that I need to get over and maybe one day I will.

 

[Rule-Of-Thirds]

I can't offer any advice because I'm in the same situation as you. I just want to meet someone, fall in love and be loved by them. I really wish it was easier but I guess that the waiting is all worth it when you find the right person. I wish you luck in your quest for a meaningful relationship.

 

[Smitho]

I don't think having sex and looking for a LTR are mutually exclusive. When I am single I have sex with guys, some of them I like more and will date, and after some dates we may start a relationship and I stop looking for others. Sex to me is the fun part of the looking and starting a relationship with someone you have not had sex with seems risky as you may not be compatible and the relationship would be short lived.

I don't really see why you would not want to have sex with people as it is fun, free, and good exercise! (hopefully)

 

[-Lance-]

I don't want a controlling relationship.

However, I welcome control in sex.

 

[Martkell2007]

I don't really see why you would not want to have sex with people as it is fun, free, and good exercise! (hopefully)

Well you're a self-proclaimed sex god. Of course you wouldn't see that.

 

[kayman23]

I don't think having sex and looking for a LTR are mutually exclusive. When I am single I have sex with guys, some of them I like more and will date, and after some dates we may start a relationship and I stop looking for others. Sex to me is the fun part of the looking and starting a relationship with someone you have not had sex with seems risky as you may not be compatible and the relationship would be short lived.

I don't really see why you would not want to have sex with people as it is fun, free, and good exercise! (hopefully)

That just sounds so ass-backwards. It's more risky to just havem random sex with somebody you probably don't even know their first name.

Sometimes I wonder how retarded can society get if thinking fucking then start dating is how you create a meaningful long-term relationship.

 

[G-Lexington]

We met online. We were gaming buddies, then e-mail buddies, then phone friends, then phone sex friends. So I guess we were friends first. Kinda.

If you're really serious about being in a relationship, join a matchmaking service. Seriously.

Lex

 

[ashtheman2007]

I met my bf 8 months ago. Had seen him out and about a few times. I'm not out to anyone really and i was out on my birthday with my brother and some mates. He came into the club ( a straight one btw ) we were in and he noticed me looking at him and after about an hour of being in there he came up to me and gave me his mobile number. I text him straight away and it all started from there.

As for having sex, i haven't yet. I defiantly wouldn't have an entirely sexual relationship cos its just not me. I'm too shy to do it as well. I will have sex with the right person as and when I feel comfortable and luckily for me Jake doesn't have a problem with it.

 

[hitboyqt]

:sad face: yeah. I know I should just wait. And I'm not depressed by it at all or anything, I have loads of friends to hang out with and such so I feel loved all the time which is all that matters

 

[SantaCBear]

you dont need a bf to be a whole person... they are nice to have tho.

 

[strataboy19]

I don't know about you guys, but I'm convinced I can't snag a bf because deep down I don't think I'm ready for one. It doesn't mean I don't want one, but I just can't handle it for some reason. I always complain about not having anyone to be with, but looking back I think I've actually warded off some potential mates completely on my own.

Maybe it's a self esteem issue or some other deep rooted problem, but every time a guy flirts with me, tries to get sexual or romantic in any way, or even if I somehow sense that the guy might be into me just a little bit, I clam up and get frosty and try to get out of that situation in any way I possibly can. I don't do it on purpose. It just seems to happen and it's beyond my control.

Maybe whenever I get over these stupid issues I'll find a bf. But until then a nutcase like myself needs to be single. It's for the greater good of mankind.