Uncontrolable anger issue?

[blondsurfer]

Does anyone here have a temper, do you lash out, punch things and just flip out over the stupidest things I do- HELP please, what is causing it ,how can I control my anger, what should I do. The cat knocked something off the Kitchen counter, I got so pissed I punched a wall screwed up my hand pretty bad, don't worry the cat is fine- at least for now anyways!

 

[JayHew]

http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/Abuse/Site/transcripts/anger_management.htm

Give a read of this discussion. It might help. Good luck.

 

[blondsurfer]

Well I'm 45, I have had anger issues ever since I was a kid, I have had two jobs that I have been written up many times because of my anger- almost got fired from one of them because of it. I have broken a couple of bones in both my hands as well as some of my fingers because I go into a rage and punch things. My firends & I went into a bar years ago and just because I thought someone looked at me funny I went after them, my friends dragged me out of the bar & police it was a mess. I sick of being so angry all the time, it's is effecting everything in my life, including my health.

 

[bluedragon4]

I don't usually but this past August I punched two holes in my door. It was all over money problems and the fucking electric co ripping me off. It seemed I was drowning in debt that month and no amount of money was pulling me out cause everyone wanted money. I really flipped out over all these bills.Something in me broke. I went totally crazy. I work 70 hour weeks and still can't make my bills happy. And the way these places talk to you like you are a piece of shit really did me in. It really hasn't changed much in the bill department but when I "broke" that day I haven't cared what happens. You can't get blood from a stone. I'm doing everything right but treated so very wrong.

 

[thisisinteresting]

I would say that I have an anger problem, but I've been getting better all the time. I turn 19 on monday... I punched a hole in my door before I moved out (moved out in august) that I still need to pay my dad for... It was unavoidable (for me) with all the stuff piling up. I got a ticket on top of having a horrible time with everything and all this shitty stuff stacked up until I hit something... I either stubbed my toe or hit my head or something on this REALLY hard wood and I just went "FUUUCK!!" and punched the door and my fist went 3/4 of the way through it. Whoops! That was embarassing.

Before that, a bunch of shitty awful stuff stacked up and my nephew was actually the catastrophic trigger. He didn't know how pissed I was and he like... tripped me or pushed me and I stumbled over my feet into something and hurt myself and tried to walk away to cool down but I got near this tall lamp and I punched it. The light bulb exploded instantly before anything could even fall over. That was with my dad sleeping in the same room. Ah, how embarassing.

Since then I've become more of a pothead, which rather than necessarily just helping by like calming me down or mellowing me out, it allowed me to see things from different perspectives (along with other drugs I'll admit ) and just thinking about stuff like that I'd go, "What's the point in wasting so much energy on getting angry like that?"

Basically, what worked for me was like psychedelics and introspective thinking. Hahaha. Not for everyone, but just like... sit back and think. Just think about how fucking ridiculous it is to get so mad over some stupid petty shit that you'll forget about in a month. Hope you find something that helps...

EDIT: Oh, and figuring out yourself helps. I'm relatively passive-agressive, always have been, but I've been working on it and as I've been preventing myself from bottling everything up inside 'til I explode (just stopped caring, tell people what I think, yadda yadda) it doesn't build up to the breaking point like it used to.

 

[thewiz]

People get angry all the time. Heck, if you are Christian and read the bible, you can even find where Jesus gets angry in the temple and kind of loses it -- he trashes the place! (Okay, so that is kind of a modern written interpretation!)

Angry or anger is not the problem, it is how one deals with the anger that is or becomes the problem.

At work, is it frustration with the job; sometimes people look at their job as a reflection on themselves. If you aren't happy or content with yourself, sometimes this can translate into the job. Sometimes frustration in the form of low self esteem can be reflected in the workplace because people try all the harder to make up for their perceived shortcomings which can lead to frustration, to anger, etc.

Do you get exercise or do you work out? I know when I don't work out -- I do something six days a week -- I feel frustrated but not to the point I punch holes in walls. Working out can put the anger to good or better use.

Counseling is certainly something to look at; an anger management program so that you can find channels in which the anger can be released in a more positive manner is critical. Recognizing one has any problem is usually a sign that one wants to change and that is the only way something will happen!

Good luck!

 

[bluedragon4]

I just had another moment!!! I live on the 3rd floor and across from me some "people" who live there bought a puppy and have left him outside on the 3rd floor balcony for several days. He's been crying non-stop and I feel so bad for him!! He could fall right off the balcony. I leave my balcony door open(I am in Phoenix and it's still hot here) and all I heard all day was shrill desperate crying. Why do people get animals and than do this sorta shit!!! Drives me nuts!!! So I went to their door to see the apartment number and as I was walking away i screamed,"Take care of your fucking dog!! I had to listen to that shit all day!" People in the parking lot stopped and stared at me. I was surprised I yelled that out loud so angry! Than I left a message for the apartment office that they were abusing this poor puppy. Shit!! I'm getting mad all over.

 

[CoolcuteFranzarg]

Yeah, I have a fucking rotten temper. I used to beat up my ex and once I threw him down the stairs. When I'm not physically abusive, I am emotionally and verbally abusive. I guess it comes from the fact that I'm impotent and dont feel like a real man so I lash out at everyone and everything, and in doing so, really fucked up the best relationship I ever had in my life. It's a vicious cycle, because I'm angry because I'm angry and I dont have any kind of outlet so I just lash out. I would go see a psychiatrist but I dont ever plan on changing my ways. I hope you can find a way to handle things for yourself. The best advice I learned (Which I am finally putting to use) is to think before I act, and try to rationalize why I get angry. Most of the time I am just angry at myself for all of my failures and I just project it onto other people, animals, objects, etc.