Unhappy

[me12121]

For the last few weeks I’ve felt so unhappy and hopeless about the future and I’m not sure what to do. I really shouldn’t feel this way since I’ve done quite a bit in the last few months. I made my first gay friend, joined a GLBT support group, switched majors to something I actually enjoy, and I’m actually enjoying school for once. But in spite of that I feel like I’m too screwed up to ever actually be happy.



I don’t have much social confidence, so I don’t have many friends and have a lot of trouble getting close to people. Other than my gay friend and one other friend, I don’t have any other friends and don’t know how I’d go about making more friends. I live with 4 housemates but everyone seems to lock themselves in their rooms so I pretty much feel like I’m living alone…I haven’t talked to anyone in days.


I’m not sure what to do to stop myself from feeling lonely and hopeless until the New Year when I get busier again and have less time to think about things. Any advice?

 

[Rooster]

Unhappiness, hopelessness, and loneliness are major signs of depression. You may want to seek out a counselor. Depending upon the severity, you may need antidepressants to break the cycle.

There are some mindfulness exercises that are helpful for mild depression.

One is to simply take some time and think about all the things you are grateful for in your life. People usually don't take the time to allow themselves to experience gratitude for the little things and doing so will shift your thinking from the detail oriented thought of depression to a broader, more appreciative scope of the world in which you live.

Another exercise is affirmations. When you start to feel like things are hopeless, remind yourself that "things will work out". It's an honest statement since most of the things that consume us with worry at this time will be forgotten in the future. For better or for worse, things will work out.

A third exercise is people watching. This is a great thing for shy people to do. Simply go to a place where people are around, such as a public park, bookstore, mall, etc. and watch people. Even introverted people need to recharge their social batteries from time to time and taking the time to observe others will give you a vacation from yourself.

Best of luck, and remember that depression is just another part of life. As long as you continue to live your life, it will go away in time.

Oh, and one last thing. Never view yourself as damaged. Humans are resilient creatures. We become stronger from adversity.

 

[sureaaa]

How? You find the major you are enjoying. There are a lot of hopes ahead.

Why dont you call someone, old school mates （ I'm sure you have some that you keep in touch with. Or your parents? Or try to make some online friends?

One more thing. Smile a lot. People will notice you are nice and approachable. lol

 

[Seasoned]

In addition to your normal state do the holidays bring up other issues? As mentioned above clinical depression needs treatment. Congrats on all the new steps you've taken. You are learning to feel the fear and do it anyway.

 

[KaraBulut]

Most universities have counseling programs for students. Start there and unravel whether this is a matter of just needing someone to help you sort out your problems or whether this is a temporary depression.

As for things to do to get out of the house... this is the time of year when not-for-profits are looking for volunteers. Get out of the house, do some good for others and get some perspective on how much progress you've made and how lucky you are.

 

[HunterM]

Yep, volunteer to help out in your local soup kitchen. Meet people. Take the initiative to invite your housemates (1, 2 or all of them) out to a movie or a meal during these two weeks. It's bonding time to get to know them better.

 

[Gin&Tonic]

I've felt depressed in the past. Babe, it's almost always chemical. I know it might be hard to talk to a doc about this, but, it's really the best thing to do.
There are lots of people who will be your friend on this board.

 

[HunterM]

Make it a goal to learn 1 or 2 new skills outside of school next year.

Pick up new hobbies. For example, if you don't know how to swim, enroll in swimming lessons. You may or may not make friends there. But at least you'll get out of the house and meet other people while acquiring a new skill at the same times. Once you you know how to swim, then learn how to kayak in the summer, etc.

Go travel to a new city that you haven't been before. While in college, I used to travel on a shoestring budget in between semesters. I stayed at youth hostels around the world. Sometimes my friends came along. Other times, I just traveled by myself. Staying at youth hostel is a great way to meet people because you're staying in dormatories (4 or 6 bunk beds in a room). Most of them are solo travelers. You may not make lifelong friends with them, but you'll get to ask/talk about each other's travel adventures while you're there. It's another way to practice on social skills and see the world at the same time. I learned to appreciate living in the present.

Learn about photography. Most people like to take pictures when they travel. Learn how to compose better pictures, etc. Join a local workshop on photography. They usually have photo assignments on various subjects. You don't have to be a pro at it. You will learn a new skill and gain new insights from others.

Oh...congratulations on knowing to switch to a major that matches your passion. So many people did not do that in college. So after graduation, they get stuck in a job (in their field of study that they're not passionate about) for the rest of their lives.