Untouched - desirable or turn off?

[tarallucci]

Hi Tara nice to see you!!! (potremmo dire perché, dopotutto, l'odio interetnico è una cosa che, storicamente, è stata anche troppo spesso riportata insieme ad altre piuttosto simili? View attachment 1123456 )

Beh naturalmente abbiamo i nostri difetti, come d'altronde ogni nazionalità, e io stesso spesso mi ritrovo a fare delle auto-critiche per via del nostro atteggiamento sempliciotto e disfattista, quindi un pò ce la siamo cercata. Tuttavia, al di là degli stereotipi che comunque non sempre ci rappresentano e gli eterni problemi del nostro paese, credo che in generale siamo un popolo ben visto all'estero e amato piuttosto che odiato, poi storicamente ci sono state nazionalità più sfortunate rispetto a noi dal punto di vista della discriminazione

 

[PrahaGold]

Maybe you should speak your mind to him at some point and see what kind of response he gives, even if we pretty much don't need any other confirmation judging by the information that you provided, especially from the latest update.
Because like this, he is basically leading the game dating you and other people at the same time, and sooner or later you will end up making love to him. It's not necessarily a bad thing if you're ready for that (after all you're craving that) but honestly I wouldn't "spoon" with someone who is probably into NSA type of relationships (if I can say that?) and I am sure it is a bit of a turn off for you as well.

As you said, the response may prove more predictable than I would like it to be. And you’re right, spending the night with him was probably a grave mistake on my behalf. I’m sorry, I simply couldn't resist the temptation and I do think that this may have conveyed the wrong message. The ‘magic’ I felt in that particular situation was probably highly subjective and only present because I wanted it to be (e.g. Someone who hates France and considers Paris to be a filthy, smoke infested rat-hole would not have experienced the same heart warming sensation as I did when I went there).

The fact that he is being very nice to you might be just a way for getting what he wants, he probably understood you have feelings for him or noticed that you are somewhat shy and unsure therefore he is not rushing with making advances.

I hate to think of him as such a manipulative, deviously cunning man, but of course you may be right in that regard.

1. Abandon yourself to the pleasure and experience sex for the first time while being prepared for the likelihood that he won't be exclusively yours.
2. Quit everything because he (regularly?) messes around and he won't probably change/you wouldn't be able to "tame" him, leaving empty-handed and wondering what it would have felt like to make love to him.

I don’t consider option 1 to be particularly appealing – even though I would like to know what it’s like to sleep with him. Option 2 sounds much more like something I would do. Although I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I have heard stories like this from the other side as well; men who slept around a lot and led a wild ‘party-life’, but when they finally wanted to make a commitment to someone, the person in question left when they found out about their past behaviour. What if he’s one of those? I think I would feel wrong if I just shut the door upon someone and leave him in the cold, only because there’s luggage. Everyone has a past.

Yes of course virginity applies as a concept to gay men too, and yes of course for some of us it is more important, and means more emotionally, than a forgettable sneeze or something.

That is not a fashionable view these days as you can see from the replies to your thread so far, and I'm sure many men enjoy casual pointless flings with more-or-less forgettable partners. But if you are not wired that way, if loyalty is one of the top values that would define your desired relationship, if you intend to be monogamous, if sex detached from emotion does not appeal, if man after man does not appeal, then of course the first time you get sexual with someone will be significant. Do not let others downplay that.

Virginity was not the most important thing in my relationship, but I can tell you it is nice to still wake up 17 years later to the smile of the first human being I shared an orgasm with. I'm glad it was him, and after all this time I'm glad we're the ones to share that memory. It has zero to do with anyone having a hymen.

If you are wired that way, don't pass on the chance to pursue that for yourself.

But is this the guy? Hates cuddling and is possibly not relationship material? Hmmm...

Welcome to the thread and thank you for your input. You sound like someone exactly to my taste. Now if only you weren’t married... No, I’m glad you are and that you still have the love in your relationship. And you’re right; this bloke is most likely not the kind of person who will wake up next to me in seventeen years with a warm, loving smile on his face.

I’m not sure what to do at this point. He hasn’t tried to call me yet, nor have I sought contact with him. Quite frankly, I’m rather tempted to end the entire affair. I may not have a lot of experience when it comes to relationships, but I can’t imagine they’re supposed to be this complicated.

-PrahaGold

 

[BelovedEnigma]

May I ask three questions? Have you expressed any of these concerns with your gentleman friend? I can only conclude that much of the indecision could be cleared away if both parties involved would make their intentions known. Is the dance or the bow more important?