Update on Going nowhere

[HartfordGuy]

Howdy,

Alot of us can relate to some of the things and feelings you are having.

The experience you described sounds like a panic attack. The sudden fear and physical symptoms when attempting a social event like that. VERY COMMON! And it can be cured. Believe it or not I had a similar experience. I ended up not wanting to go see my close friends even. So I went to see a therapist. We chatted about random stuff until eventually I had no more anxiety. Problem solved and I haven't been back to him.

The lack of sex drive could be caused by depression. Most definately in fact. I'd inquire about a mild anti-depressant like Prozak.

It will even out your mood and boost your confidence. You'll be spanking it to porn again before you know it. Better yet, maybe with a J.O. buddy too. You never know what tomorrow brings.

 

[Horschallen]

I agree with Hartford Guy... what you described sound like symptoms of depression first and then panic attacks. Have you sought or are you getting professional help? I have some of the symptoms you described and I am moving along with medication and with professional therapy. I may not be at my best, but I am doing better than I was at some point in the past.

 

[nsguy2]

Maybe if you had a buddy to go to the SETA meetings you'd be less likely to turn back.

As for the biggest turn offs, there are guys in here who'd do Richard Simmons so there's hope for us all J/K

Get to one of those meetings and interact with some people. It'll open up a whole new world for you.

Good luck.

 

[3nipples]

It would be great if you could get more comfortable with yourself about being gay. Those SETA session you tried but failed to go to sound like a good place for you to go.

Do you think it might be possible for you to send them an email (or telephone) telling them about your situaltion. Maybe somebody could meet you someplace outside and accompany you to one of the meetings?

 

[thermodynamics]

Do you think it might be possible for you to send them an email (or telephone) telling them about your situaltion. Maybe somebody could meet you someplace outside and accompany you to one of the meetings?

That's a great idea. I think your first priority should be to get to one of those meetings. Then you won't feel so alone. And then I think you'll feel better.

Regarding the guy at work, I think you should tell him that you don't like his comments. If he gives you flack or asks you why, you don't need to say anything. Sexual harassment rules are there for a reason. Don't be afraid to use them.

 

[Eagle653]

Based on just what you write, I think there's a chance you're depressed. And, perhaps coupled with anxiety disorder. The good news is that both of these disorders--if they're true--can be easily treated with anti-depressants and/or therapy. You're 30 years old (or thereabouts, if I recall). There's absolutely no reason for you to be living this way, and feeling this way, and feeling so bleak about yourself and your life.

You're obviously bright and you even show glimpses of a great sense of humor. It makes me sad to think you're so unhappy. Get moving--there's a whole wide world waiting for you out there.

 

[rareboy]

See your doctor. Everyone is absolutely spot on. You very likely have Social Anxiety Disorder and depression. Both of these may have a genetic or physiological basis, although some counselling may also help.

Best of luck in getting your life back.

 

[loppyears]

Joining any sort of group is always scary to begin with. I joined a LGBT last year (terrified btw!!) and it really helped me alot dealing with coming out, abuse, meeting new people and other things. You just need that extra push to do it.

Also instead of meeting the whole group to start with, have you tried phoning up their office and making an appointment to meet with one of the workers first? This is what I did and it really helped because I found out about the place and what they do. Sort of an icebreaker. I'm sure you'll find some people there who will want to be your friend and you never know, you may find your first boyfriend as well.

I hope everything goes ok.

 

[loppyears]

Thanks. I sent an email today about the group meetings, but it's on a summer break now. It starts again in autumn. So I'll just have to wait. They have a open house day on wednesday and I told that I'm coming. I think it will be easier to go to the meetings when the place is familiar like you said.

I'll just have to force myself. I'd be so angry with myself if I won't go. I know the "panic" feeling eases up after I step in and it goes away after a few minutes. It's just so stupid to feel that way, cause there's nothing to be afraid of.

I hope you too find what you're looking for.

That's sounds perfect! If you feel your ready you should drop in on Wednesday and see what it's like. Plus there's no rush, if you feel uncomftable meeting new people straight away you still have the meetings in Autumn, us Jubbers can keep you company until then too I'm sure new people will be there who will want to make new friends and they'll be just as scared as you are! No one will judge you either, everyone is in the same boat in a LGBT group. Good luck