Update on my "coming out" situation

[Christopher123]

Funny, I can't really call it "coming out" but instead I should call it "being outed," lol.

Anyway, so my cousin Karen (Miss Gossip USA) calls me today. "Hi, how ya doin, blah blah blah..." and the typical crap was exchanged. So then she goes, "I just wanted to tell you that I informed the family about what was going on with you."

(well who didn't know THAT was gonna happen?)

"Going on with me?" I said.

"Yeah... you know... that you're... well, gay (she almost couldn't say it) and I thought the rest of them should know."

Why should they know just because they're my family? Not that I care, but it was just the way she said it. Like I've got some horrible disease that everyone needs to be aware of.

Okay, fine, whatever....

So I said, "Well... okay, that's nice."

So she says, "I told Uncle Chet. You remember Uncle Chet, right?"

"Ummmmmm, yes."

"He wanted me to give you the numbers to some places where you can get some help."

I should have hung up right frickin there. But my stupid glutton-for-punishment ass stays on the phone. And why would an Uncle that I haven't seen in 4 years give a rats ass about my well-being???

"Where I can get help? I don't understand what you mean."

"Chris, this isn't normal. Don't you think you might have a psychological disorder that's causing you to act this way?"

WHAT???????

She's going on and on and on, 100 mph as usual, until I finally stopped her and said, "Karen, I'm hanging up now."

"No no no, don't hang up, I'm not trying to upset you, I just think you need help and I want to give you these numbers."

My exact response?

"Take your numbers and shove 'em up your ass and don't ever call me again."

I hung up. And yes, I knew it was her when she called (I have caller ID), and I was tempted to just let the machine get it, but morbid curiosity got the best of me and I picked it up anyway. I was kinda hoping (as if) she would say, "Hey, I let everyone know about you and they think that's great and you've got some relatives here that would really like to see you again, let's make a date to all get together..."

Right.

I told ya, didn't I?

Anyway, thanks for listening again. Just wanted to get that off my chest. You guys have been great

 

[Eagle653]

God only knows what kind of "numbers" she was going to give you...Ted Haggard's 24-Hour Confession Line? LOL.

Congrats on handling Cousin Dearest so well. I hope she obeys and never contacts you again, but I doubt she will. I daresay you're the most interesting thing in her life right now and she'd die if she couldn't be the family busy-body in your stuff.

Good luck! Loved your update!

 

[Christopher123]

God only knows what kind of "numbers" she was going to give you...Ted Haggard's 24-Hour Confession Line? LOL.

I don't know, lol. I should have asked out of curiosity, but I didn't. I wasn't going to give her the slightest inclination that I was admitting I had "a problem."

Congrats on handling Cousin Dearest so well.

Well at first I thought I didn't. I mean, telling her to shove things up her ass and hanging up wasn't very mature. But I simply reacted. Normally I'm usually very quiet and soft-spoken, so when I go and say things like that, it's obvious I'm pissed.

I guess I can't really blame them for their ignorance. Or maybe they're not ignorant to it at all, maybe they're just stupid hateful assholes.

I hope she obeys and never contacts you again, but I doubt she will. I daresay you're the most interesting thing in her life right now and she'd die if she couldn't be the family busy-body in your stuff.

That's a scary thought, lol.

Thanks

 

[thermodynamics]

Yeesh. It sucks that you're having to go through this. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses. If your family doesn't have the acceptance to see you for who you are, well.....so be it.

 

[Christopher123]

Yeesh. It sucks that you're having to go through this. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses. If your family doesn't have the acceptance to see you for who you are, well.....so be it.

I agree.

Poopie on 'em.

 

[tallguy297]

I guess I can't really blame them for their ignorance.

Oh no Chris...its ignorance. Ignorance of what it is to be gay...thats its not a choice or a problem. But whats even worse mate, is that they are ignorant to the real you. The person that you are, the values you have, your capacity to be kind, loving and caring. They are ignorant to all the things that come together to make you the guy you are.

Or maybe they're not ignorant to it at all, maybe they're just stupid hateful assholes.

I dont think they hate you mate...they don't know you well enough to do that!!!! How could they hate someone they havent even gotten to know....but you're right...they may just have a special gift....

Gotta say you impressed the hell out of me with the shove it up your ass thing...good work!!!! Dont our stupid curiosity get us into trouble sometimes...still and all... it gave you a chance to let her know what you thought! I cant beleive that she rang to tell you she'd told everyone else. And then to help????

There is still time for others to handle this better (I hope) Chris. Not every one can be a Karen (please God...). But if they dont take the time to care, to ask, to get to know you, love you and see the real you...well thats their loss. You cant put brains in a monument.

 

[Christopher123]

Oh no Chris...its ignorance. Ignorance of what it is to be gay...thats its not a choice or a problem. But whats even worse mate, is that they are ignorant to the real you. The person that you are, the values you have, your capacity to be kind, loving and caring. They are ignorant to all the things that come together to make you the guy you are.

Yeah. I suppose you're right.

Gotta say you impressed the hell out of me with the shove it up your ass thing...good work!!!! Dont our stupid curiosity get us into trouble sometimes...still and all... it gave you a chance to let her know what you thought! I cant beleive that she rang to tell you she'd told everyone else. And then to help????

That's what floored ME. I was like what the... ???

It doesn't surprise me what she did, though. She's always been that way. It's just none of their damn business how I live my life. They don't want to 'help' me. They want to make a mockery of my sexuality and then take all the credit for being 'brave' enough to come forward and handle such a devastating situation. That and they could later feel all proud of themselves - "Oooo! I helped Chris overcome his gayness! I'm the coolest person that ever lived! He's cured all because of ME! Come over here and pat me on the back!"

There is still time for others to handle this better (I hope) Chris. Not every one can be a Karen (please God...). But if they dont take the time to care, to ask, to get to know you, love you and see the real you...well thats their loss. You cant put brains in a monument.

Amen to that!

 

[3nipples]

Thanks for the update. She really is quite the piece of work

I hope your other relatives that are now finding out will be less ignorant.

 

[RicanDAB]

Hey Chris,

(*U*)​

This was my reaction to your story of course (and as of late on JUB it is my most used and favorite emoticon). First of all, she has some f***ing major cojones to be spreading around your business like that! And then for her and your uncle to suggest that you need HELP! OMG, I was on the floor!

For the record, I would have reacted the same way you did - childish or not - it's instinct, and I do not blame you ... that would be enough for me to cut ties forever with my cousin. Honestly, I don't have time to deal with the ignorance of others. I agree with others who posted that your cousin and uncle don't hate you - I do not sense that. But ignorant? That they certainly are - I would leave them be and if and when they come around on their own is when I would be receptive.

Sorry to hear that you've gone through this .. but sounds like you're taking it all in stride ... good for you!

 

[WYSIWYG]

I continually am amazed at what famiies do to their own children! You live with them for 19-20 years or more, and "suddenly" because your gay, (or bi), the family disowns you! I realize that we are a society that is so far to the right that the only group of people the right and the religious holy rollers can attack, are decent people like Chris!

Actually this is not the only country that abandons its own offspring in the name of religion! I have 2 friends in South America, 1 in Colombia, and 1 in Ecuador, who's family kicked them out into the streets because the Catholic religion considers gays as unnatural and an abombination! First friend was attached by his stepfather and slashed with a knife and then kicked out!

As I have mentioned many times before, if we could control being gay or not, why would anyone chose this lifestyle and be treated like a subhuman or worse? Rents in particular need to get a clue and not abandon their children! Love under any circumstances seems to be a dead idea in the USA!

 

[luminum]

Really though, you could have also dished out that so far, those kinds of services don't seem to have worked very well. Look at good ol' Ted Haggard. Is she trying to make you lose moeny? How thoughtless of her.

Haha, but no. In all seriousness, good job.

And keep fending them off like that.

 

[Christopher123]

I'll just lump my responses all into one post if nobody minds

I hope your other relatives that are now finding out will be less ignorant.

I doubt it. But one never knows. I just hope they don't call me. I DON'T want to talk to these people, for reasons other than this.

But ignorant? That they certainly are - I would leave them be and if and when they come around on their own is when I would be receptive.

I'm not sure that I wanna be, though. I'm just not comfortable with my own family members, I never have been (except for just a few that I still associate with, but the ones I associate with DON'T associate with the rest of them either). I've always felt 'out of place' around them. But then I've felt 'out of place' just about everywhere. So maybe it's not them at all

Actually this is not the only country that abandons its own offspring in the name of religion! I have 2 friends in South America, 1 in Colombia, and 1 in Ecuador, who's family kicked them out into the streets because the Catholic religion considers gays as unnatural and an abombination! First friend was attached by his stepfather and slashed with a knife and then kicked out!

That's awful

Really freakin awful.

What the hell's the matter with people?

~sigh~

Really though, you could have also dished out that so far, those kinds of services don't seem to have worked very well. Look at good ol' Ted Haggard. Is she trying to make you lose moeny? How thoughtless of her.

And keep fending them off like that.

Should I buy myself a whip and a lion-tamers outfit? Or maybe a sword.

Back! Back, I say!



Thanks, everybody, you're the best!

 

[operafan]

So sorry to hear about your raggedy-ass cousin - and the rest of the family as well who don't understand that what you need is acceptance and not their damn telephone numbers.

I go back to the father who said, "I can love my son or I can lose him." Seems to about sum it up.

 

[Christopher123]

So sorry to hear about your raggedy-ass cousin - and the rest of the family as well who don't understand that what you need is acceptance and not their damn telephone numbers.

I go back to the father who said, "I can love my son or I can lose him." Seems to about sum it up.

Yep, well, my father in particular chose the latter.

I just have such a loving family.

Thanks for your comments

 

[looseliam]

You know, people like this always get theirs in the end. Things have a way of coming around to bite you in the ass.

Just wait for that time and go in for the kill.

In the meantime, three cheers for queers!!

 

[tommy296]

Sorry to hear about your cousin - it sucks when family members decide to make YOUR sexual orientation about them. If she calls again, perhaps have the number of the local PFLAG group handy so she can work out HER psychological bias disorder.

 

[Christopher123]

You know, people like this always get theirs in the end. Things have a way of coming around to bite you in the ass.

Just wait for that time and go in for the kill.

In the meantime, three cheers for queers!!

Maybe I'll send them all some coal for Christmas, lol.

 

[Christopher123]

Sorry to hear about your cousin - it sucks when family members decide to make YOUR sexual orientation about them. If she calls again, perhaps have the number of the local PFLAG group handy so she can work out HER psychological bias disorder.

Now there's a damn fine suggestion.

 

[Rule-Of-Thirds]

What a cunt...

 

[Christopher123]

What a cunt...

I'm sorry, but I can't argue with this.