Update on my "coming out" situation

[Riverrick]

Hey Chris, nice job handling that.

The situation called for you stepping aside and letting your emotions take over and that's what you did. Don't feel sorry that. Our emotional, illogical side can sometimes take better care of us than our reasoned and logical mind.

She is going to have a lot of feelings over what happened and as a result, will get your point. I'm sorry that so far things have turned out as you predicted but, as Tallguy said, there is still hope for individual members to rise above the fray.

As always, I'm impressed by you!

 

[Christopher123]

She is going to have a lot of feelings over what happened and as a result, will get your point.

I hope so. Haven't heard from her since.

The bitch.

Thank you for your compliments

 

[backpacker]

Chris, I'm so sorry that you have to go through crap like this. I certainly hope a few of your family members will reach out and tell you it doesn't make a difference to them. I'm sure some of them must feel that way, the just may not want to make a big deal out of it by calling you.

You sure have a cousin pegged, unfortunately. I'm sure she's called half the family by now to tell them what happened. I'll bet that most of your family feels the same about her as you do and are probably giving you high fives.

Don't let it bother you too much. As you have said, it's not like you have much contact with them anyway.

 

[Christopher123]

Chris, I'm so sorry that you have to go through crap like this. I certainly hope a few of your family members will reach out and tell you it doesn't make a difference to them. I'm sure some of them must feel that way, the just may not want to make a big deal out of it by calling you.

You sure have a cousin pegged, unfortunately. I'm sure she's called half the family by now to tell them what happened. I'll bet that most of your family feels the same about her as you do and are probably giving you high fives.

Don't let it bother you too much. As you have said, it's not like you have much contact with them anyway.

Thank you, I appreciate what you've said.

At this point I guess I don't really much care what any of them think. Although it doesn't feel good to be told you need help.

Yes, I know, I don't have some weirdass mental deficiency. But it still kinda sucks to hear it from someone who is your blood and who shouldn't really give a shit either way

Even my own sister tells me it's a sin. And that God is going to punish me in one way or the other. Well my question is this: if there is a God (I'm personally an agnostic) wouldn't he, or shouldn't he, love everyone? Isn't that what people preach?

God loves everyone!

Oh, but he hates fags.

Fuck them all.

 

[backpacker]

Thank you, I appreciate what you've said.

At this point I guess I don't really much care what any of them think. Although it doesn't feel good to be told you need help.

Yes, I know, I don't have some weirdass mental deficiency. But it still kinda sucks to hear it from someone who is your blood and who shouldn't really give a shit either way

Even my own sister tells me it's a sin. And that God is going to punish me in one way or the other. Well my question is this: if there is a God (I'm personally an agnostic) wouldn't he, or shouldn't he, love everyone? Isn't that what people preach?

God loves everyone!

Oh, but he hates fags.

Fuck them all.

Chris, I definitely understand what you are saying about hearing that kind of crap from your own family. It's only human that it hurts.

As far as God goes, I always look at this way. If he thought it was wrong, he wouldn't have made us this way. A sin is something you can control, being gay isn't.

 

[Christopher123]

Chris, I definitely understand what you are saying about hearing that kind of crap from your own family. It's only human that it hurts.

As far as God goes, I always look at this way. If he thought it was wrong, he wouldn't have made us this way. A sin is something you can control, being gay isn't.

Thank you. Sincerely. I needed to hear that.

Like I said, I'm agnostic. Not atheist. There's a slight (or, to me, a pretty big) difference. Atheists deny the existence of God. Agnostics question the existence of God.

Which means I'd like to believe there's a God. But I can't. This doesn't mean I thoroughly deny that God exists. I can't say he does. I can't say he doesn't. Believing in God is a 'faith' that comes from within oneself. From your heart. For me it's just not there. I used to believe in God. But I lost it a long time ago and just never got it back.

Crap, I'm sorry, I don't mean to go on about this stuff. But my point is that what you said, about 'God' not seeing homosexuality as a sin because it's not something we can control, is something I needed to hear whether I believe in God or not. Because, again, my sister preaches the God thing to me, telling me God would not approve of my lifestyle.

Like I can freakin change it.

 

[trawler69]

At this point I guess I don't really much care what any of them think. Although it doesn't feel good to be told you need help.

Yes, I know, I don't have some weirdass mental deficiency. But it still kinda sucks to hear it from someone who is your blood and who shouldn't really give a shit either way

Even my own sister tells me it's a sin. And that God is going to punish me in one way or the other. Well my question is this: if there is a God (I'm personally an agnostic) wouldn't he, or shouldn't he, love everyone? Isn't that what people preach?

God loves everyone!

Oh, but he hates fags.

Fuck them all.

Your Cousin is certainly a remarkable piece of work. The sort of person one usually only finds in the worst sitcoms and even there they are a figure of fun. I think you were remarkably restrained with her given that she is so stupid that she can't see what she is doing by spreading this arround and then having the cheek to offer you help.

I think the idea of offering her advice and help in her ignorance with the PFLAG info is a good one it might just make her think although I wouldn't hold my breath as she appears to be defficient in the cognitive thought department.

Having been dragged up as a Catholic where we are suposed to believe from day one that we have to spend our lives asking for forgiveness for just being born (original sin) I understand your reasons for being an agnostic. I became one too when I realised that my religion taught intolerance and that I was an abomination. I could not accept that because I am not in the same way that you are not.

If your cousin could just step back and look at the person you are and the person she is she would have herself humanely destroyed. I think this is why people like her have a built in deffence mechanism called self obcession.

I'ts never nice to be told that you need help, although we all do from time to time, but it is worse when we are told we need it for being ourselves particularly when we are quite happy being ourselves. It just rubs in that person's dissaproval of who we are. You fortunately have a strong enough self image to tell her where to get off.

It sounds like you have a distressingly religious family who are so stupid that they cut out of their lives the one person who could so enrich them. I only visited the religious forum on here once and it so depressed me with the vile self loathing intollerance that could not be swayed, that I vowed never to return there.

I am sure you are coping with this just fine, it's just annoying that it happened. My thoughts are with you.

 

[_AJ_]

Sorry to hear that muffin

 

[antdak]

I just want to add, that I am sorry for you also, but it sounds like you are coping well! And you have received some great advice already! I wish I would have taken a stand like that when I was younger! You are an inspiration to us all!!

 

[Christopher123]

It sounds like you have a distressingly religious family who are so stupid that they cut out of their lives the one person who could so enrich them. I only visited the religious forum on here once and it so depressed me with the vile self loathing intollerance that could not be swayed, that I vowed never to return there.

That's one thing I can't get into is a religious discussion. There's really no point. Because everyone sees their own picture. And arguing those pictures just doesn't make any sense. I can no more convince a religious person that there's no God anymore than they can convince me that there is.

I may not believe in God, but I respect the beliefs of those who do. If one can believe in God and hold onto that, I think it's great. I'd never say to a religious person something like, "Oh you're full of shit, there's no such thing as God, get a life."

Because I don't know that there's no such thing as God. And even if there isn't, what one holds inside of their heart - their own beliefs - is all that should matter to them.

Maybe I'll go with that PFLAG suggestion if I ever hear from her again, lol.

 

[Christopher123]

Sorry to hear that muffin

From one muffin to another, thank you

 

[Christopher123]

I just want to add, that I am sorry for you also, but it sounds like you are coping well! And you have received some great advice already! I wish I would have taken a stand like that when I was younger! You are an inspiration to us all!!

Thank you, that's very sweet of you to say

I suppose I should be glad this is all coming out now. And I am. I wouldn't change it. And I know not everyone is going to deal with this the way I'd like them to. Nor do I expect them to. I'm not the type to say, "I'm gay and you're gonna like it."

If they can deal with it, great. If they can't, that's fine too. But for crying out loud, don't make me feel bad for who I am.

Thanks, everybody. I so appreciate you all taking the time to add your advice and opinions.

 

[unclaimedblessing]

Chris, I personally beleive Psychiatry is such a booming business in this country due to religion and family influence.
I'm glad you reached out here because if you listen to both those elements your head will explode.
Just as all fingerprints are different, we humans don't all fit all the conventional molds either, and thankfully so.
We may not be perfect, but we're not some tight assed, judgemental prigs. Our differences make us who we are and if people (including family) don't like that, then fug 'em.
With all that pressure it's a wonder you turned out to be such a sensible, sensitive and understanding guy despite family influence.
You made it this far successfully with them in your life. Imagine how high you could soar without them.
Best wishes, I'm sure you will deal with all the assholes in your life in the manner best suited for you.

 

[Christopher123]

Chris, I personally beleive Psychiatry is such a booming business in this country due to religion and family influence.
I'm glad you reached out here because if you listen to both those elements your head will explode.
Just as all fingerprints are different, we humans don't all fit all the conventional molds either, and thankfully so.
We may not be perfect, but we're not some tight assed, judgemental prigs. Our differences make us who we are and if people (including family) don't like that, then fug 'em.
With all that pressure it's a wonder you turned out to be such a sensible, sensitive and understanding guy despite family influence.
You made it this far successfully with them in your life. Imagine how high you could soar without them.
Best wishes, I'm sure you will deal with all the assholes in your life in the manner best suited for you.

Well, like I said, this has been like therapy for me. I needed this badly.

Thank you for your kind words