People seem to not want to be around or talk when you are down but are then when things are looking up or are up. And that's understandable, people can only say and do so much. I know I have to pick myself up a lot of the times, but there are days that it's harder to do.
I'm in my head a lot. Discussing the ups and downs of a certain decision that could be made, I'm been contemplating this decision a lot lately. I think a lot of the time I'm just scared and nothing more, otherwise I'd be able to do it. I'd rather not, but at the end of the day who knows what could happen.
I've been talking to a lot of people lately and it's been genuinely enjoyable. Though it seems to be only a temporary fix where I end just rolling back to default, which is either almost numb or just crying listening to music. Which is where everything else seems to be, work, socializing, sex, etc. All fine, but in the end all distractions.
I could go for comfort, for a kiss, for a long hug, laying naked with another man staring at the ceiling together, not saying a word. I don't feel like I have that anymore and I'm afraid to ask anyone to do it. I don't want my issues to be anyone else's issues, I don't want to scare anyone away because that would make things worse.
I don't know.
I'm in my head a lot. Discussing the ups and downs of a certain decision that could be made, I'm been contemplating this decision a lot lately. I think a lot of the time I'm just scared and nothing more, otherwise I'd be able to do it. I'd rather not, but at the end of the day who knows what could happen.
I've been talking to a lot of people lately and it's been genuinely enjoyable. Though it seems to be only a temporary fix where I end just rolling back to default, which is either almost numb or just crying listening to music. Which is where everything else seems to be, work, socializing, sex, etc. All fine, but in the end all distractions.
I could go for comfort, for a kiss, for a long hug, laying naked with another man staring at the ceiling together, not saying a word. I don't feel like I have that anymore and I'm afraid to ask anyone to do it. I don't want my issues to be anyone else's issues, I don't want to scare anyone away because that would make things worse.
I don't know.

