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Upset and Confused

Yes, I've met a few guys with many of the same personality traits. Quick to "friendship" and endearment to your heart, but a complete fear of any genuine intimacy even on a "friendship" level. Their personal insecurities won't allow it but at the same time they thrive on the attention of others, despite being a positive or negative reaction. To them it is more of a social experiment or "game" that will only briefly benefit himself until he loses interest in his subject. My advice is to tread carefully, and treat this individual with the most professional attitude you can attain, tough but kind. Be strong and do not give him the reactions he desperately wants for it will only fuel his chaotic behavior. Yet it is possible to have a professional working environment between you and him I would guard against anything but the aforementioned.

The above advice of course comes from my own personal observations and experiences. I have faith that you will find the best solution to the solution. Good luck!
 
Thanks guys. That's more or less what I'm doing now. I don't care at all anymore. I talk to him and it all just means nothing. I have a bare minimum relationship with him and nothing he says effects me. I actually forgot all about this till I randomly came on here and saw Beloved's update.

Again, thank you guys.
 
Well, didn't think this would be getting bumped up, but here we are...

A lot has happened to him, he's gone through some hardships. The biggest one was that he wants to be a firefighter, went on a ride along and was told "you're too old, give up". After that, he kinda had a melt down. I did my best to calm him down but he went all out.

He should have been fired to be honest, but he wasn't caught and no one complained.




Anyway, because of me trying to calm him and make him feel better we're "cool" now. So we'll talk about our lives (ie complain, joke around, talk smack, etc.), but it was all stuff I wasn't taking too seriously.

Well, I messed up it seems. Right after the last post I made on June 12th, he said he didn't want anything from me, at all (you know, to be boyfriends or have sex) and I am cool with that. But now I'm all fucked in the head.

Basically he's had this weird switch and is suddenly saying that he's bisexual and that he's knows that I like him and trying to get me to go out with him. But everything about this has to be wrong. Right?

When he said he was bi, he said "well I used to be, not anymore", to which I added 'you probably stopped cause you found out I liked you' (as a fucking joke)! But he took it seriously, just repeating yeah you like me, it's okay.

That same night he was walking around eating licorice. At one point I was like 'I'm gonna snatch that out of your mouth'. So he leaned in and said 'so take it' and proceeded to lean in like he was gonna kiss me. So I joked, if you do it like that it's like you want to me to kiss you! He just got closer. I said "I'm gonna put my tongue down your throat!", but he just got closer. So I backed away and he was just like 'you blew it, that was your one chance!'.

All I have playing in my head over and over again is him saying 'I don't want anything from you, at all'. I feel so creeped out.

Just blowing off steam. I know this is a byproduct of his 'personality' or whatever sort of Narcissistic/ASPD he has. Or something.
 
my thing; is why do you feel creeped out. He knows that you might want him and he is playing up to that.When you mention a posibilty fwb situation. Just let him flirt. I would say flirt back if you want too. If something happens so be it. It's your choice. Just do not let him have that much power to make you feel bad about yourself.
 
It's like being in sixth grade again.
 
By showing him sympathy during his ?"temper tantrum"? he elicited a response from you bringing you back into the fold. I understand that you empathized with his pain and were just being a good person trying to give comfort. But what does your logical self tell you about this gentleman? Does it coinside with your emotional attachment? If so, then maybe you should press the matter and bring it into an open conversation. If you choose this option are you willing to be on the receiving end of a possible future meltdown? And one that might be at your place of employment? I dare say, if your logical and emotional self are at odds then a re-evaluation of your relationship is needed.

Hope all is well, best of luck!
 
Habbababba said:
Well, didn't think this would be getting bumped up, but here we are...

A lot has happened to him, he's gone through some hardships. The biggest one was that he wants to be a firefighter, went on a ride along and was told "you're too old, give up". After that, he kinda had a melt down. I did my best to calm him down but he went all out.

He should have been fired to be honest, but he wasn't caught and no one complained.




Anyway, because of me trying to calm him and make him feel better we're "cool" now. So we'll talk about our lives (ie complain, joke around, talk smack, etc.), but it was all stuff I wasn't taking too seriously.

Well, I messed up it seems. Right after the last post I made on June 12th, he said he didn't want anything from me, at all (you know, to be boyfriends or have sex) and I am cool with that. But now I'm all fucked in the head.

Basically he's had this weird switch and is suddenly saying that he's bisexual and that he's knows that I like him and trying to get me to go out with him. But everything about this has to be wrong. Right?

When he said he was bi, he said "well I used to be, not anymore", to which I added 'you probably stopped cause you found out I liked you' (as a fucking joke)! But he took it seriously, just repeating yeah you like me, it's okay.

That same night he was walking around eating licorice. At one point I was like 'I'm gonna snatch that out of your mouth'. So he leaned in and said 'so take it' and proceeded to lean in like he was gonna kiss me. So I joked, if you do it like that it's like you want to me to kiss you! He just got closer. I said "I'm gonna put my tongue down your throat!", but he just got closer. So I backed away and he was just like 'you blew it, that was your one chance!'.

All I have playing in my head over and over again is him saying 'I don't want anything from you, at all'. I feel so creeped out.

Just blowing off steam. I know this is a byproduct of his 'personality' or whatever sort of Narcissistic/ASPD he has. Or something.
Click to expand...

Yeah, at some point he's not the problem.
 
My Two cents.
This straight boy likes gay attention. IF anything WERE to happen, it would just be a fun hook up and nothing more. Life is short. If you can handle a meaningless good time, why not? If you take it seriously, you WILL wind up brokenhearted. Looking back at moments I've been through, I wish I would have made that move. Just keep flirting and kidding around and dont take things so seriously.
 
He's got another job and is leaving at the end of the week. If he gets his way, he'll get a job in Seattle and move there.

Good riddance.
 
Well at the very least you won't have to put up with his shenanigans. Now you can better expend your energy on more important things. Hope all is well!

Best of luck!
 
This will be the last post about him. He tried to be all cutesy with me the last day we worked together. He invited me to his "going away party", which I said "thanks for the info" to. It's taking place today, but I won't be going.

I hope it's truly over, but he has asked and unfortunately our manager is so wrapped around his finger that he said he'd hire him back.

While this has all been wrapping up, I've meet a guy at school. He's gay and my type and seems to be interested in me too. I hope it works out!

Thanks to those of you who didn't flame me. Massive hugs all around!
 
It's great to hear your doing well! Hoping the best for you and the new beau.

Take care!
 
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