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Valentines Day... alone.

Brad, what I based my assumption on was the following statement:

I think that I will end it all if I am alone one more holiday.

I took that to heart. And when your one llife revolves around being alone on a holiday, then I'm led to believe that the actions of others (being with you) will dictate how you view yourself. I just think that's wrong.

I understand how you could feel like that for a fleeting moment, but, you need to take charge of this situation.

What would bother me more is having a worthless date on Valentines day (or any day) just for the self-fulfilling satisfaction of the other person being in control of my life.

You can do this, my friend. We live in a society where self-confidence rules. There is no reason you shouldn't have this confidence. Don't let a stupid holiday ruin the future possibilities.

You'll find the minute you don't dwell on such issues, others will see it and beg to be with you.
 
I'll admit... I care what other people think of me. I have felt this way, my whole life. And ever since I've moved to Cali it's only gotten worse. Bought a fucking BMW I can't afford. Credit card debt wrose than all your combined, and all this shit makes me feel even wrose than I do... so I take anti-D's just get thru each day. I am a slave this fucking medication now, and i just don't even feel like life is worth living anymore
 
Gin&Tonic said:
I'll admit... I care what other people think of me. I have felt this way, my whole life. And ever since I've moved to Cali it's only gotten worse. Bought a fucking BMW I can't afford. Credit card debt wrose than all your combined, and all this shit makes me feel even wrose than I do... so I take anti-D's just get thru each day. I am a slave this fucking medication now, and i just don't even feel like life is worth living anymore
Click to expand...

Your medication obviously isn't working, and it could even be causing you to feel more suicidal. You should be updating your doctor about how you're feeling, so he or she can change your dosage or even the type of anti-depressant you're taking. Also, are you in any kind of therapy? If not, you should be. Anti-depressants often only serve to numb, not to fix.

As was pointed out by MoltenRock, you don't love yourself. You put other peoples' opinions of you first, and you try to fake your way through by spending money you don't have. Being fake isn't going to get you real friendships; it's going to get you other fake people as friends, and they'll drop you at a moment's notice. The number of friends you have is not what is important; it's the quality of friendship that should matter.

If there is something about you that puts people off, a good therapist could help you determine what that is. Do you come off needy, uncomfortable, phony or shy in social settings? A therapist will help you explore how you typically act and who you're typically attracted to for friendship/companionship. If you can't figure out how not to be alone, then it is worth it to start figuring out why you are.

You're still a very young man--why give up on yourself now? Seek help.
 
It kind of sucks having someone (as in a BF the guy you love) in your life and having him say he will not spend V-day with you, but the weekend after valentines he wants to take you on a camping trip just you and him... o wait I guess that doesn't suck hmmm.

iono carry on.
 
Get online and set up 15 coffee shop dates (not dinner, not sex), find some guys that want to be friends with and meet them for coffee. I guarantee you if you select 15 people with a genuine interest in friendship, you will find someone to go to dinner with on Valentines Day. With the world today, thee is no reason that anyone should be alone.

Think of 10 questions that you can ask the person and have answers to the same questions (you can't use yes or no answers). Examples - where did you grow up (tell a little story about you growing up - something funny is always good), what do you do for a living, where did you go to college, how many brothers and sisters do you have, what was the last movie you saw, did you like it, why or why not, etc.

You don't even have to be out of the closet - just find friends and go from there.

Guaranteed to work!
 
Being alone on a holiday isn't as bad as being with people that don't want you to be there. Trust me.

I'm not all that peppy. So I won't do the you'll find someone thing, cuz honestly I don't know you or your situation.

If you are seriously considering suicide check out the rest of this site and find the threads concerning suicide and you'll find some good help, some not so good help, and some stuff. lol.

Don't take being alone too seriously or it will crush you. Find random people to hang out with, or be happy with finding people to chat with on the net. Get into an RPG like WoW or Warcraft or one of them other ones that I don't know the names of. They may not be able to come over to your house and give you a bj, but they can listen when you want to vent, and they can give out the virtual affection alot of people in our generation are fine with. It's not a replacement for reality but it's a nice substitute and you aren't punished for killing people you don't like... usually :D lol.

If being in cali is giving you self image issues, find some other place to live, and figure out a way to get there and get set up.

And as was stated above, for depression you need to keep your doctor updated about suicidal thoughts so they can alter or change your medication. Quite a few anti depressants can cause the suicidal thoughts and feelings, that's why they say it in the commercials. And they won't help forever. Get to counseling, if you can't afford a therapist, then look into your local community center for support groups.

And if it makes you feel better, buy yourself a big stuffed animal for V day.
 
Meh I haven't been in a relationship or been laid since I ended a relationship back in high school when my boyfriend cheated on me and got a girl pregnant in the process. Every once in a while I become envious of people in relationships but then I snap out of it when I see so many friends in such shitty relationships, enduring psycho girlfriends/boyfriends who play sick mind games or cheat on them constantly or use them, and they lie down and accept it because they fear that if they move on they won't find someone else.

I'd rather be single and a little lonely but have all the freedom in the world to be myself, to do my own thing, etc. Have you ever noticed alot of the people who seem to be in a relationships constantly also put up with the stupidest drama from their partner? I'd rather be single for a long time and finally find that one person than jump from one bad relationship to another making the same mistakes in order quell the fear of being alone because god forbid you be 25 years old and not have the dream job, the dream relationship, dream car, and dream house right out of college.

That being said, valentines is stupid anyway. All the overtly commercialized holidays are. People put themselves into a year long debt because retailers say that christmas requires you to lavish everyone with petty baubles and trinkets. Then the diamond industry, confectionary companies, card and gift industry, and restaurants tell you to put a huge artificially overpriced rock on their finger, buy them a box of chocolates with a card and flowers and take them to a restaurant outside your price range because money = love...

So don't be so quick to envy those in relationships. They have their own shitty drama to put up with. Just because you're single now doesn't mean you won't find someone. You just have to be patient. Find a way to have fun this valentines day, but remember that it's just another day. Quality over quantity. Revel in the thought of being able to do what you want when you want without the drama of a relationship. Not having to spend your money on someone else, or worrying about trust issues, being cheated on, or arguments. People are good at hiding their unhappiness. With the increased rates of divorce and breakups you gotta wonder how many of these "lucky" people are in it for the wrong reason, for guilt free sex or out of a fear of being alone.
 
Birthday's the day before and I'll be just as alone...

Does suck but I've gotten used to it...
 
Valentines day is meaningless anyway...its just another way for corporate america to get us to buy meaningless paper items, stuffed animals, flowers, and fattening candy..... I will be alone, actually probly working, maybe if I had a BF itd be more meaningful, but I wont ever spend money on a gift for valentines day...waste of our natural resources.
 
Gin&Tonic said:
I'll admit... I care what other people think of me. I have felt this way, my whole life. And ever since I've moved to Cali it's only gotten worse. Bought a fucking BMW I can't afford. Credit card debt wrose than all your combined, and all this shit makes me feel even wrose than I do... so I take anti-D's just get thru each day. I am a slave this fucking medication now, and i just don't even feel like life is worth living anymore
Click to expand...

Hey Brad I know what you're going through. My debt is worst then the national debt lol. I've been alone alot and sometimes think its never gonna get any better but then out of the blue something good happens..
The last part of your comment worries me that you might be thinking of something bad...Just don't give up..

I'm hoping the best for you
 
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