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Valle12tom - Archived Blog Posts

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Foggy and drizzle this AM as I woke up. I tried to stay up last night for the lunar eclipse but unfortunatley we had a very heavy cloud cover here and were unable to see this event. It was supposed to be incredible as the full moon turned red. I wish we could have seen it. Hope some of you were able to.

I moved my fantasy story over to the erotic story section of JUB at the urging of the moderator of that section. I have spell checked it and it will be easier to read in that format. Maybe more folks will read it and let me know what they think.

I am leaving in about an hour for a conference on an island off the coast of South Carolina. A 5 day conference. Hope the weather is good. I hate leaving my home and dog and house etc. but it will be good to get away. I will return next Wednesday so will be out of touch until then.

peace and remember to VOTE!
 
I just heard John Kerry concede to Bush. What a sad day for America! Now the rapist and his friends in the buisness world can have free hand to go about their buisness of destroying the environment in this country and around the world in pursuit of money and oil.

I had a wonderful 5 days on a barrier island off the coast of South Carolina where I was attending a meeting. Outside out meeting room you could see the water and the dolphins were swimming back and forth. It was great when the meetings were boring. Lots of great walks on the beach. Saw deer, foxes, dolphins, bobcats and possums. At this particular spot it is one of only 3 places in the world where a dolphin will chase shrimp or fish up on the beach and actually slide up on the beach out of the water to eat them. I did not see them but it was described to me. The shrimp were running and were delicious and the dolphins came in very close to shore. It was warm and beautiful.

I am glad to be back and my dog was so happy to see me he almost wagged his tail off his butt!!! It was very cute. He got lots of treats and scratches as well.
 
Today has started out with rain. Not to heavy but a good rain. Then we had some sun and more rain and clouds. So it has been a mixture. Our neighbor has finally fixed most of his fence between his property and ours so he us running his cows in the hayfield again and they can't get out! That helps us in that we don't have to go and chase the suckers around half the day. You want to be nice to your neighbors but it was getting old chasing those big old cows and their calfs around the fields. They never seem to go where you want them to go and they always want to go where you don't want them to go. Almost like humans. The weather person has now said we may get high winds tonight and a chance of snow flurries tomorrow AM! peace to you all
 
Very cold last night with high winds. It was great to snuggle down under my goosedown comforter. Keeps me warm. I love to lay there in the AM and just feel so warm and good and wow what is this my hand finds its way into my crotch and well you all know what happens next. I envy those of you out there who have a partner or a friend or just someone in bed with you but at least I do have my five fingered friend and my cock always enjoys his attention!

Lately my fantasies are about a Bel Ami model called Victor Boyd. He is just so amazing. His smile, his nipples, his abs of steel, his incredible cock and foreskin. WOW they just all come together in such a perfect package of human perfection. Great for a wank and great for a good dose of jizz.

peace to you all and I hope you have a great weekend ahead of each of you.
 
This afternoon I took a long walk in the woods behind our place. The leaves have for the most part fallen from the trees here in our part of the world. It is very sunny today but windy so it feels colder than it is but it just a gorgeous day. I am glad to be alive and for the most part glad to be me and who I am and what I do. The leaves would crunch under my feet as I walked and the silence in the middle of the woods is intense. Such a wonderful feeling of being in nature.

Yeah if there were things I would change I would like to make some changes but....well that does not seem possible at this moment in time. Yeah I would like a partner in my life to share not only my sexual needs but my spiritual needs as well.

I would love to have the experiences so many of you have had with another man. Just the simplest act of being able to touch another man and be close to another man. I hope that those of you who have men in your lives never take that for granted. It is special and you should treat it as such. Just the simple act of touching another mans cock and balls, of kissing another man, of kissing another mans nipples, cock and balls. All of these things are foreign to me but not to many of you. They are special and I hope that you realize how special they are.

It is so hard to explain what happens smetimes when I am looking at for instance a photo of a guy with a raging hard on and he is stroking his cock. I can feel the intensity pleasure he feels jump out of the screen or off the page. My whole body feels that feeling as he grips his dick and squeezes himself in pleasure.

I know there are many out in JUB land who think I am a cop out by not coming out but I guess they just don't know who I am or what is happening in my life. I guess it is always easier to run someone elses life. What is that old saying about walking a mile in my shoes before you can judge me.

I think there is a lot of truth to that statement. We just need to support each other with love and respect and not tear each other down as we scramble to the top.

There is a theory I have heard from African Americans about their culture in America and it is called the crab bucket theory. Throw a bunch of crabs in a bucket and they will climb over each other in their struggle to get out of the bucket. I don't want to do that in the gay community. I never want to advance myself in this life at the expense of someone else. To me that would not be worth the effort.

Just a ramble on a fall afternoon through my mind. peace brothers
 
Not sure why I thought about this very painful memory last evening but I did so here it is.

I always have trouble with my weight except for a short period of time from when I was about 21-27 maybe. I am 56 now so that gives you an idea of how many years this has been going on.

I have always liked to eat and enjoyed food and was one of those kids who put on weight when I ate and was not good at sports so I never gave myself a chance to lose the weight I put on. My brother and my cousins made lots of fun of me and I learned how to be by myself and on my own. That is probably one of the reasons I LOVE TO MASTURBATE. My dick was always glad to see me and never told me I was fat! My parents were just as bad. They were always drawing attention to how fat I was etc. etc. Their nagging just made me sneak around and steal food and hoard food and eat whatever I could find whenever I could find it.

Perhpas this was a reaction to my mother dying when I was young and having a very wicked step mother enter the picture. I was 4 when my mother died and 5 when my dad remarried. Who knows at this point.

Anyway the more they nagged the more I ate. She even tried to give me diet pills (speed) one summer but it didn't work but I loved those pills! I traveled in a pack of friends during those years and for the most part they didn't really make fun of me but I always felt like I was ouside the crowd looking in. I would tag along and be tolerated but was never taught the secret handshake if you know what I mean.

I was always picke dlast for any team in school and in the locker rooms and showers well I was always ashamed of my rolls of fat. I did enjoy looking at all those fit guys and wondering what it must be like to be one of them and actually be able to look down and see my dick! LOL! That is probably why most of my fantasies through the years involve young (18+ of course) men who are fit and trim.

I don't think any of you guys out there who are fit and athletic and on the in crowd side know what it like for those of us who are overweight and not athletic and not on the in crowd. We suffer daily in a world of hell during those teenage years and probably suffer low self esteem through the rest of our lives. I am not blaming anyone but am asking that if any of you out there reading this blog know someone like me it would not be a bad thing to befriend them and make them feel special in some small way.

I remember the one time that really brought up this memory when my parents were making fun of my butt and how big it was. The biggest butt in 4 counties they called it. Big butt Tom. Lots of butt jokes going on during that period of my life. Anyway they were having a party and I remember them calling me outside and laughing with all these adults and some of my brothers and sisters around and they made me stand there while they tried to balance a beer can on my butt all the while making fun of me. I was trying hard not to cry but I finally did which made them laugh even louder and try over and over again to balance that damn beer can on my butt. Can you imagine the scene of a young boy standing in a circle of adults and other kids all laughing at this one young boy about the size of his butt. How cruel!

They finally let me go and I went to my room where I cried my eyes out. I then thought that if I could stand against a wall and just bang my butt against the wall over and over again and again I could reduce its size. Well my butt got sore over the next few months but it did not change in size at all.

What a shitty thing to do to a little kid.

Anyway that memory popped into my head last night and now here it is for all to see. I have never told anyone this before.

Latley I have been losing weight and am now down to 199 pounds from 240 in March. I feel good. I need to lose it as I need to have hip replacment surgery on my left hip as I have no cartilage left in that hip. So that has been my incentive. I have a goal of 180 pounds. Not sure if I can go that far but I am going to try.

peace to all of you on this gorgeous Saturday here in the mountains of Western North Carolina.
 
In going over in my mind the memories of my childhood and my weight problem there was period in my life when I was totally hot and in pretty good shape! During college I had a serious crush on two different guys. I mean I was so head over heels in love with these guys it was pitiful. They were of course very straight but I would do anything just to be around them. I followed them around like a little puppy dog. In some ways they must have liked the attention as they did small things that led me on and had me thinking they might let me give them a BJ or wack them off or something. But it never happened. We never crossed the line.

Today I can regret not being a bit more aggressive with them. Afterall they are not friends any longer so what would have been the worst that would have happened. They could have beat the shit out of me. They could have told everyone we knew about me. They could have let me suck their cocks. They could have just told me thanks but no thanks. But that was a different time and in my head I just could not cross that line.

I can still jack off in a second thinking about one of them (who since college married , had two kids, turned into an alcoholic, divorced and is living alone now) ((LOL maybe he is thinking about me)) and the other has completey slipped off my fantasy list and out of my life.

Well anyway towards the end of college I just decided that I needed to make a change so I started to not eat and lost lots of weight and then after I graduated I went to Europe and Amsterdam was the first city I went to. I bought a bike and started riding all over that wonderfully flat city and I was hot. Of course here I was in the gay capital of the world and I was afraid to be gay or to admit I was gay but I was looking good. I was doing push ups and sit ups every day and riding the freaking bike all over the place. It was cool. I traveled all around Europe living in Paris, France; Copenhaven, Denmark; London, England; Aylesbury, England, then went to India and Nepal.

Then back to America and for a few years untill maybe 1983 or so continued to look good. Then somehow I started to fall apart again and gain a little bit here and a little bit there and then before I knew it I was back up to 240 lbs where I have been for the past 15 years or so.

So anyway that is what I have been thinking about the past few days.
peace on this beautiful Sunday morning
 
Today is Monday and another very gorgeous day here in our part of the world. Great weekend full of good things except of course for my brief trip down memory lane with my memories of being FAT!!!! Oh well can't always be as perfect as I would like.

Today I had to take my truck to my local mechanic for its yearly winter tune up. Change oil, check brakes, check coolant, check fluids, rotate tires, check tires, etc. The mechanics name is Marty and he is a real country character. One has to talk about hunting and such with him but he does good work so it is worth it. He has such a mountain accent sometimes it is hard to understand what he says. Marty also chews tobacco and is always spitting the juice into a Mountain Dew bottle. Gross!!!! His son works with him and is about 21 and is kind of hot in a very red neck country sort of way. I will admit I have had a fantasy or two about him but with this guy I know it is complete fantasy! LOL! His hands and fingers are always filthy with grease which is a bit of a turn off but hey in a fantasy. He is such a redneck. I don't say that in a bad way just as a descriptive tool.

So now I am at work with a full schedule ahead of me. meeting with Insurance agent about our health insurance renewal, fixing a few things around the place, writing some letters, calling about some grants etc.

peace to all of you today and always!
 
The buzzards are flying all around this AM and about 15 of them have landed in a big oak tree right outside the door to our office. They are so cool. Got to love a creature that everyone loves to hate. They clean up dead stuff, fly around in packs, and don't usually bother anyone. I think they are an amazing creature.

When I went to pick up my truck Jeremy was there. He was covered in black grease. His hands were covered and his face was covered and all you could see was his eyes and his white smile. It was sort of hot. LOL! I could see myself taking off his greasy coveralls and getting down on the floor of the garage and sucking his cock while he rubbed grease all over me! LOL!!!!!!

Have a wonderful day no matter what you do! Peace to all.
 
They are painting our office today and the smell of fresh paint is in the air. A bit overpowering so I may not spend a whole lot of time in here today but then again it is a bit intoxicating as well so I may just sit here and get high! LOL!

Sunny today. Buzzards roosting in the oak tree again this AM.

Peace to you and yours!
 
Got to go to a big organizational group meeting for 3 days starting tomorrow so I will be off for awhile. Have fun while I am gone and post lots of photos for my return. LOL!

peace to you and yours
 
After my bolg entry yesterday when I told you I was going out of town for 3 days you might wonder what the hell is he doing here then????? Well I am leaving about 10 Am this AM but I had to check in here before I left and finish up a few things around the office before leaving.

I have a new fantasy story in the erotic stories thread if you care to check it out and give me any feedback you might have on my style and on the story in general.

peace to all
 
It is another Monday and the sun is shinning. Heavy frost the past few days. The buzzards are in the trees about 36 of them this AM. The fire alarm inspection guy is here setting off all our alarms and it is LOUD!!!! but it a good thing and a necessary thing to protect peoples lives. Of course many people just ignore the alarms when they go off as they are very sensitive.

Good meeting this past weekend. Our new boss is a great leader. Lots of politicking going on within the organization which creeps me out. I try to stay away from that side of the buisness as much as possible but sometimes one just gets dragged in whether you want to or not.

This group of gay men called Chanticleer will be singing in Boone NC at the end of this month. I heard them when I lived in Memphis and they are quite good. A few friends and I are going to drive up and hear their concert on the campus of ASU (Appalachian State University) (part of the UNC system of colleges and called by its students UNC-Tweetsie) (very inside joke LOL LOL LOL)

Well the one thing that always happens when one goes away is that your desk is pilled high with stuff to do when you return so i had better hit the stack and try to whittle it down to a manageable size.

peace to you all
 
It was a great day! How can I tell you how great it was except to say you will just have to take my word on it. I feel good today. I got a lot done today and that helps to make me feel good. The day or at least my day is almost over and I get to go home in a few and play with my dog and then sit in my easy chair and have my first wank of the afternoon. I am looking forward to that as I know I have a huge load to shoot today. Being away from JUB for 3 days and now today I had to of course catch up on all I missed so I know that always helps me produce a gigantic load of cum. I have been working on a great fantasy in my head today and now have it all worked out and ready to play while I play so au revoir until tomorrow all my loyal readers. LOL!
 
A cloudy day today but we are not supposed to get any rain until Saturday. I had to get up early this AM to take my dog to the vet to get his nails clipped and a bath and ears cleaned. He will be there until 2 PM and then I have to go back and pick him up. It will be great to have his nails clipped. That is one thing I just have never been very good at. With a dog it is so easy to cut to much and then they really bleed all over the place and I just hate that. I could give him a bath myself but they have all the right equiptment there so it is just easier to let them do everything.

I need to write a long report today so I guess I had better get at it.

Peace to all of you!
 
I change my signatures often on this site. I love good quotes and like to change mine every couple of days. Recently I have not changed mine as I really like the two that I have at the moment. They really make me think and I like to think. Perhaps having them on my posts will help others to think as well. Not that people aren't thinking I didn't mean that but just add somethine to their thoughts for the day. I love the Yoda quote. It is one of my all time favorites in the whole world. It says it all really does. The second part of my sig this week is an amazing statistic. Makes me feel so rich when sometimes I don't feel that way. We have so many choices here in America and other places around the world that we just don't know how hard it is for many people to just survive the day. We have so much. When I catch myself saying I can't afford this or I can't afford that I stop and smile and say yes I can afford it I just choose not to afford it at this moment. I am so blessed I really am. Do I know how blessed I am? I am not sure but I do try and realize those blessings and appreciate them each and every day. Each day is so damn special. Another chance to get it right or to at least try and get it right.

What a ramble. peace to all of you. I love all of you eventhough I don't know any of you. I wish you peace and happiness and all that you seek.
 
Well I am off to Asheville NC for a meeting this afternoon. Beautiful day here in Western North Carolina. Crisp and cool last night and today it is sunny and warm and just well just gorgeous. Beautiful fall day.

I get to stop at Starbuck's before my meeting. WOW!

I don't really like late afternoon meetings as it means I have to drive home in the dark but I have no choice in the matter so I will just enjoy the ride and tolerate the nightime return home. Hope that it is not to late.

Been thinking about nipples today for some reason. LOL! There are so many different kinds of nipples on a guy and they are all so amazing and so beautiful each in their own way. Some are large and some are small some are perky and some are flat. Some have that large tan brown area around them (not sure what it is called Aureola or something?) and some are just dime size. Some have a real defined nipple and some don't. Damn I just love to look at a guys nipple's. Do all guys nipples get hard with the proper stimulation? I wonder? I mean hell I love to look at guys period but the nipple is just one area that I look for first after the eyes and smile and hair and mouth and pits and abs and pecs and legs. LOL! Do all guys love to have their nipples played with? How about some guys who have a few hairs sticking out surrounding the aureole. They are a turn on. Some nipples are inverted and I don't really like them as much. Saw Pierce Brosnan in a movie the other day and he had these inverted nipples that were not my style. Of course he can't help it and each to his own just not for me.

Anyone else out there love nipples???

Peace and enjoy this day no matter where you are.
 
Today it is misting here in the mountains. Not quite raining but not not raining either! I am waiting on the health inspector to show up to discuss a new building project we are thinking about doing. I need to ask him if it will work and what our sewer and septic requirements will be for the project if we go ahead with it. Got to be ready with some facts and figures prior to a Board Meeting in December.

We plowed our garden today as well and sowed winter rye grass on it. About 2 acres in all. Hopefully the rye will have enough time to sprout prior to winter weather. There is something so satisfying about seeing a freshly plowed garden field. The soil is so rich and dark and turning it over this time of year allows some of the weed seeds to come to the surface where they will get killed during the winter. It also allows the left over vegetable matter to be turned under so it can begin to decompose during the winter season. Lots going on.

My meeting in Asheville yesterday went really well. Better than even I expected and I got home at a reasonable time so all was good in my little part of the world.

Yesterday I talked about nipples and how the very sight of them can turn me on. Even if I can see them pressing against a tight shirt gets me hot so I don't even really need to see them to get worked up! LOL!

Today I was thinking about pits and how they can get me hot. Just to see a guy raise his arms and show off his pits is an incredible turn on for me. He can have lots of pit hair or none or anywhere in between and it is hot. The hair can be long and curly or thin and faint and it is hot. It can be sweaty or dry and it is hot! He can have his shirt on and just looking into one of his sleeves and catching sight of the pit hair is a turn on for me. Starts my fantasy juices rolling! LOL!

Men and their bodies are just such a turn on.

peace to you all today
 
OK the past few days I have been talking about parts of a guy that turn me on. Actually they all do but I am taking them one at a time in this blog.

The sight of a guy stretching and having his shirt pulled up to reveal a belly button is so erotic. The sight of a naked guy with his navel is erotic. I like them as innies and I like them as outies. I like them with a smattering of light hair and I like them smooth. I like them with a treasure trail and well I just like them. I like them deep and I like them shallow. I like them when they have that little bump of skin at the bottom that is so cool and I like to imagine licking that bump with my tongue. I would think it would be very sensitive and erotic. Navels are so cool and when you think about their first purpose that is so cool. You were fed in the womb by your mother through a tube that entered your body through your navel. How cool is that! I like them on a guy with a hard as steel set of 6 pack or 8 pack abs. The sight of a navel is just so damn hot and gets my juices flowing. How about you?
peace to all of you belly button lovers out there!
 
Well here I am on a Saturday. I have a board meeting that starts in 50 minutes so I have a few minutes to write in my blog. I serve on this board that perserves and protects Appalachian Mountain Music and Culture and Stories etc and today we have our annual meeting to see how the year went and what is in store for 2005. Also see if we broke even. LOL!

Have you ever noticed hot incredibly sexy and hot just a hand can be? I mean I really like the ones with lots of viens criss-crossing them but they are all pretty good to me. Long fingers are a plus and I have no actual data on whether a guy with long fingers also has a long dick. Anyone out there have any real life experience with that! Fingers can be hot as well and finer nails. Dirty fingernails are a complete turn off for me. I like them trimmed as well. Sometimes all it takes is just a glimpse of a guy at a gas station or in the wal-mart etc. and his hands to get my juices going. I imagine what it would be like to have that hand wrapped around my hard dick and what that might feel like. WOW! Feels good!

The painter Andrew Wyeth paints great hands. Apparently when he was learning to paint hands he went to the morgue I think I read it was in New York City where they have lots of dismemebered hands lying around on a regular basis. He spent countless hours using these hands as models. Bending them in various shapes until he got them right. He must have done something right cause he can really paint.

Oh well hope all of you have a greta Saturday doing whatever it is you have instore for you today. It is sunny today with a chance of rain tomorrow.

peace to all
 
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