Valle12tom - Archived Blog Posts

[valle12tom]

But then again I always think its beautiful here where I live. As I often am know to say the worst day here is better than the best day somewhere else! LOL!

I am working all day and in between work I check JUB and am writing another chapter in my current story.

I was up early about 6:15 and the morning was beautiful. Really wonderful to be up at that time of day.

Hope your days are good at whatever you get to do.

peace to you all

 

[valle12tom]

Today is a very important day in the lives of Christians all over the world as we celebrate the entrance into Jerusalem of Jesus and his Disciples. Jesus knew he would die and be tested this week. But he was ready for it. He was up for it. Would we/I be that ready to die for something. I don't know. I just don't know and that worries me sometimes. Would I be willing to put my money where my mouth is so to speak and die for what I believed?

I love to get the Palm leaf today and then fold it into the shape of a cross. I write the year on the cross and save them in a dish on my dresser. I have a bunch there. I look at them sometimes and ponder my convictions and what I believe and what I am willing to draw the line in the sand for and not.

Today I got up at 6AM and showed and shaved and took my dump and read my book of mediations and then headed out to the store to pick up my paper and see what was happening in the world. I only get the Sunday paper as I don't think I could stand all the bad news each and every day. That would just be to much. That is one reason I don't have TV is I just can't stand the thought of having those people bombard me with their bad shit all day every day. After awhile you get numb to all the bad shit and you think it is all around you but it really isn't. The good shit is around you and the bad stuff is just what appears to be there because of TV and what they choose to show you and give you. They choose not you.

I also love the Sunday comics. I am an addict of the Sunday comics. Ever since I was a little bitty kid I have loved the comics. We used to have to wait until my dad had read them before we even attempted to look at them. It was scary. Then we would fight over them but as my big brother was well big and he would beat me up he got them next and then on down the line. I wish there were more of them but I read whatever I get every week. When I get my paper out top the paper box I first put in my 6 quarters and then I open the box and hold it open with my leg and take a paper and flip through it to make sure the comics are there. I was burned once or twice with a paper with no comics and I swore that would never happen again.

The birds were singing this morning to welcome the day and I saw about 4 deer run across the road. As soon as they hit the forest they become almost invisible. It is amazing how they blend in so well.

So I hope that you all have a wonderful day and a day filled with peace and joy.

peace

 

[valle12tom]

Well here we are back at Monday again. Amazing isn't it how the weeks and the days and the months and the years just keep rolling around.

Beautiful day here in the mountains. Nice chilly morning with a hint of frost on the ground. The birds were singing this morning so we know that spring is on its way and I guess this must be the first day of Spring. Cool. Its on now to the rest of spring and summer. Hard to believe they have rolled around again as well. Just can't stop them. We can't stop time or put back the clock as much as we would like to.

The cows were in the field waiting for the farmer to bring them hay this AM. They must really love that and anticipate that time and when they see him they know what will happen. What are they thinking? FOOD! FOOD!

If you could would you do that? Would you turn back time? Would you live your life over or any part of it over? Would you do it if it was new and you couldn't bring back any memories or stuff you had learned or would you only do it if you could remember and change shit? Do you think your life would turn out just as it has or would it be different?

Lets see I jacked off yesterday 3 times which is a lot for me. Usually once and maybe on a good day twice but three times is a lot. The last time felt so good but my load was only two small little drops of precious cum and i could feel my shaft become a lttel chapped towards the end of the last jerk off session.

I watched Return of the King the Last in the Lord of the Rings series last night. Elijah Wood is so hot and he gets me hot and Orlando Bloom well lets say I would go down on my knees and worship at either of those guys and have on occasion in my fantasy world dreams! LOL!

Hope you day is a good one.

Palm Sunday was nice. My palm frond was nice and is now nicely folded into a cross with 2005 written on it and drying in my dish on top of my dresser with the other ones.

peace to all

 

[valle12tom]

I make myself a rule and then I break it knowing that I shouldn't but somehow it is like picking a scab or something I do it anyway.

I made myself a rule to not participate in any thread on JUB that deals with politics or religion or something controversial etc. because of all the guys out there just looking for a fight and looking to bash someone for something that happened to them. They want to prove they are superior and they are right and everyone else is wrong.

Well I had to jump in and express my views on the What Are You Doing For Holy Week thread and Soilwork has to start bashing Christians. Wow the venom and the hatred that is stored up in that guy could light up a city. There is just no way anyone can say what they want to around him because he thinks he is right and he wants to ram his ideas about who I am down my throat. He has never met me and has no idea who or what I am yet he acts like he can say who I am. What the fuck is going on?

Maybe this time I learned my lesson and will just stay out of those threads.

peace to you all

 

[valle12tom]

This morning deep in dream land I was suddenly surrounded by a blinding light. Bigger and brighter than any light I had ever experienced. I jumped out of bed and my dog jumped up as well and it was so dark outside my windows. I was disoriented and wasn't sure what had happened and then the thunder broke with a huge crack a few miles away.

It was lightning. A winter or I guess now its spring thunder and lighting storm at 4:30 AM. I realized I had a pee hard so I went to relieve myself and patted the dog and then stood by my sliding glass door and watched the strikes of lightening about every five minutes. It was amazing how the whole valley lit up for a brief moment in time. Like nature or God or maybe one of her angles taking a flash photo of earth for their scrapbook.

The storm continued for about 2 hours until it moved away. Then I drifted off for a bit and woke up again with another raging hard on and lay there in bed watching the clouds roll through the valley until I could not stand the pain of my bladder ready to burst so I got up and peed and then took my shower, shaved and ate some breakfast and then came to work for my cup of coffee and my journey into JUB land.

Yesterday was not great what with all the venom spat my way by Soilwork and his supporters but hey it is just a thread right I tell myself. Nothing personal and I don't know him and he doesn't obviously know me so what the hell. I just hate that some people think they know you and think they can put you into their little boxes.

You can't type cast all Christians just as you can't type cast all Jews, gays, Muslims, Republicans (well maybe you can do that. LOL!) etc. etc. We are all unique and we are all who we are. We are all just on a journey and trying to struggle with our existence each and every day.

What about that kid that shot everyone yesterday. I feel so bad that there was no one he could turn to in his life that he could talk to about his thoughts and feelings. That must be so painful to be that alone that you could do something like that.

And the whole case of the woman and her parents and her husband. Bush and his cohorts should not be involved in this case. And a lesson should be learned that we should make preparations in case this should happen to us.

So today looks like rain and clouds and mist and fog. Another wonderful day here in the mountains of Western North Carolina where I call home. peace to all of you everywhere.

 

[valle12tom]

Well I spoke a bit to soon yesterday when I thought it might be cloudy and rainy all day. The sun broke free the temperatures warmed up and it was glorious. Short sleeve shirt weather and if I had had my shorts I would have worn them.

Glorious spring day. I love to bend all the way down with my nose pressed up close to a hyacinth pushing up our of the earth and just smell the wonderful fragrance which comes from this flower. Have you ever wondered and been amazed at the different smells that come from flowers? Where do they come from? Why don't people smell like that? We just have body odor I guess from what we eat etc. but flowers are just pure Nature's smell. We have to apply our smells and theirs comes naturally. I wish I could smell like a hyacinth or a daffodill or a rose.

I am not working this weekend so my time will be very limited on JUB. But I hope to get stuff done around the house. Pruning some stuff, haul off some debris, cut some dead branches out of trees, take a walk in the woods and up to the top of our hill and gaze out over our beautiful valley.

peace to all of you

 

[valle12tom]

The day has turned gorgeous and sunny and warm!

I went up to our waterfall this afternoon and it was gorgeous. So much water and where does it all come from I wonder as I stand there and watch it rushing down the mountain. Rushing down the mountain to the bottom and then on to the river and then on to the lake and then on to the sea? The rocks were amazing and the ferns and moss and galax growing in the wet on the stepp banks of loamy rich soil. It is so magical and beautiful and wonderful.

I imagined seeing my naked lover by the pool stripping his clothes off and wading in and seeing his cock and balls shrivel up to peanut size in the cold cold water but I would watch him laugh and watch his motion to me inviting me in the cold water to touch him and kiss him and make him hard.

Oh well just a fantasy.

I also walked into the woods and up on the ridge top and was just entranced by the beauty of the 270 degree view and the streams and plants and how you could see Spring bursting through. I stood there and just drank the view in until I felt I would burst.

Great day today.

Maundy Thursday Service tonight.

peace to all

 

[valle12tom]

As those of you who read my blog know I o to church and I am not afraid to admit it in my blog and elsewhere. It is a part of who I am and what I am. I don't push my cross down other peoples throat's or push my views on others. But this is my blog so I can what I want and you can read on or not it is your choice. I will talk a bit today about Maundy Thursday and the service I went to last night.

The service starts out with a foot washing. The ultimate act of servant hood and service is washing another's persons feet. Jesus supposedly did this with his disciples to show them that he was not only the master but also the servant and that in order to be good people we had to be able to do both. To serve as well as lead. It is a powerful expression of love and humility.

The sermon was powerful. The priest talked about the last supper and the description in John's Gospel and Luke's Gospel. In Luke he talks about how in the middle of the supper two of the disciples probably Peter and John start arguing about who is the greatest among them. It is the middle of the last supper they will share together here on earth and they are fucking arguing. The priest pointed out that Jesus was probably thinking to himself OH Shit who are these people? Please God let me get away from them. But he didn't he stayed and the powerful message is that he stayed with them and let them talk. He let them learn who they were and gave them pointers to help them on their all to human journey. We can learn today from that lesson today by not leaving the room but staying and talking instead of getting mad and leaving. It is so easy to get mad and leave but so hard to stay and listen.

That I think is what brings me to church. These powerful messages for my life. I don't have to accept all that is said and the trappings and all the politics but the underlying message is one of understanding, of love, of forgiveness. It is powerful and it is as true today as it was back then and that is what makes it so incredible.

So anyway that is my message today on Good Friday which has a whole other message for us.

peace to you all not and always.

 

[valle12tom]

Here in Western North Carolina we had a full moon last night and as it came up it was spectacular. I mean incredible. Huge round almost yellow orange as it rose over the mountains and shown into our little valley. Clouds were moving across its surface but when it was out it was really out. So much reflected light. What a sight. I was on my way home from town about 7:30 PM and just stopped my truck on the side of the road to watch it and ponder all of the events of Good Friday. Then there was bright light all night long. The dog was restless as he always is when there is a full moon.

I was wondering why folks at JUB hate Christians so much. I guess the history of the Christian religion has not been very nice to gay men and women down through history but the churches I have belonged to have been so welcoming and accepting and places with their arms wide open. I am so sorry for the abuses but haven't abuses occurred in all facets of society not just from the church so do these people end up hating everyone. And what does that hate do to their personalties and their inner beings.

Many of them want to tell me how I should feel and how I do feel but they don't want me to even suggest how they should feel. They seem to want it both ways but that doesn't work where I sit. As the preacher said the other night we have to stay in the room and be willing to talk with each other. We have to build each other up not break each other down. It's not who is the best or who is the better or who is whatever it is just who we are right now. We are all on this fragile island planet and we are just trying to make it.

I know I am rambling but this is a blog after all and where else can I ramble. I am sorry for the hate
e-mail I have received for my supposedly innocent reply to a thread about Holy Week. Amazing what buttons that innocent reply pushed on so many people. I have not felt that kind of hate in so long. It was literally pulsing out of my computer. After awhile I just had to hit the delete button and be done with it.

Good Friday was yesterday and it was an amazing day as we contemplated the crucifixion of Jesus and his death and burial. All the events that led up to his death and then the horrible gruesome death on a cross. It is so hard for me to even imagine humans doing that to another human. But through it comes the resurrection and that is what my faith is all about.

I hope no one reading this thinks that i am pushing my cross down their throat. That is certainly not my intention. This is a place where I tell what i am feeling and thinking and this week those thoughts are on my mind along with lots of other stuff. I am not a bible thumping Christan with a cross on my chest. In normal life you might not even know I was a church goer or a gay man or whatever.

So I wish all of you a blessed Easter full of noisemakers and joy at the resurrection we will celebrate tomorrow.

peace to you all and I mean all

 

[valle12tom]

BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ what is that buzzing I hear I thought this AM at 4:45 AM when my alarm clock went off. It was quiet outside and foggy when I got up in the dark.

I showered and shaved, fed the dog, and went to get my cup of coffee at work before I headed to church for the Easter Vigil Service which starts at 6 AM. I was reading this AM the second reading from Isaiah.

The roads were clear and not much traffic and I made great time driving listening to Bluegrass Gospel on WNCW. People were parking and walking into church and the choir had been there for awhile practicing.

The church was in darkness but the smell from the flowers was delicious and magical. Black veils covered all the crosses and icons and the flowers as the service started in complete darkness except for the ambient light from the streets. We all have our little hand held candles in their little plastic holders. I think they have a name but I can't remember it right now. The pascal candle is lit with a prayer and then carried into the church and everyone lights their candles from their neighbors candles as it processes down the aisle. Incense is burning and the smell competes with the smell of flowers.

Now the church is lit by 120 or so hand held candles as the readings begin and there are canticles and prayers in between the readings. I am second and I go to the lectern clutching my candle and my sheet of paper with my reading on it. I put on my reading glasses and I gaze out over the congregation and see the lights from their candles. It is magical and wonderful.

I read and if I must say so I read beautifully and then I go back to my seat. There is the wonderful reading about Ezekiel and the Dry Bones and then all chaos breaks loose as the Alleluia is restored to the congregation after being buried for the 40 days of Lent. We all ring bells that we have brought with us or noisemakers or rattle car keys, or African wooden camel bells and the children are invited into the sacristy to ring the Church steeple bell loudly and long. What do the neighbors think? It is Easter and Christ is risen indeed Alleluia! Magic and wonderful at the same time. Death has been conquered and it is wonderful.

None of us has to fear death as so often happens in our lives. Death is not necessarily a bad thing and it is resurrection. The sermon was wonderful and the service was great.

Breakfast followed in the parish hall with lots of hot coffee. It ran out 3 or 4 times I think!

So then it was a time to talk and be with others in the community and share stories of Easter and basketball and others stuff as the children grew anxious for the Easter Egg Hunt which due to the weather was held upstairs organized by one of the senior high school students. Chaos reigned again as the children raced upstairs to find their eggs and then back downstairs with huge smiles on their faces to show off their booty to the adults.

Lots of eggs for lots of happy smiling children.

Then home and the Charlotte Sunday paper and more coffee and an afternoon of relaxing and reading and naps and then here to work for awhile to write in my Blog and check up on JUB happenings

I hope your day was a good one no matter what you did. It's all good and I wish the best for each of you.

peace to all now and always

 

[valle12tom]

Lots and lots of rain last night. The creeks are swollen and rushing this AM. Not enough to endanger anyone unless it would really rain some more. The rushing water is always amazing and fascinating to watch. So much water rushing downstream.

My team won yesterday so that is good. I could not watch it as I don't have a TV but they still won without me. UNC. Maybe this year they can go all the way. All of the teams are good and the players are amazing at what they do. I am in awe of their talent.

Its funny that I call them my team just because I went to school there many years ago. I did used to work for them in college to support myself so I guess they are still my team.

Hope you day is good.

peace to you all

 

[valle12tom]

Well we made it through a night of some rain and lots of wind. The wind chimes outside my window were going all night long.

The ground is soggy and wet and there is standing water in all the low spots in the fields. The wetlands have lots of peeper frogs singing their little peeper frog songs and the ducks and birds are flying around.

Mist is swirling through the valley in preparation for the sun to rise and come out and be a glorious day.

The flowers are up and the colors are intense. Yellows and oranges and reds and white and blue and pink.

The smells are even more intense as I bend over and get my hands dirty as I lean way way over to smell the rich and so different smells coming from each particular flower. I am always amazed at those smells and how rich and pungent they are.

The sun is now up and shining and we are getting ready for a fabulous day. of course everyday here is fabulous in my book and as some of us our prone to say the worst day here is better than the best day somewhere else!

Thanks to all my readers who are reading and enjoying my current story. I have enjoyed writing it but it has really been hard and taken a lot out of me in many ways. But your comments and suggestions are what keep me going.

peace to all

 

[valle12tom]

I left the sliding glass door in the bedroom open last night and it was so wonderful to hear the peeper frogs this AM when I woke up. It was also nice and chilly in the bedroom so I could snuggle down under my goose-down quilt and just enjoy waking up and dozing in the early AM. My dog loves it as well. He sleeps right in front of the open door.

We took a huge multi flora rose bush out of the yard yesterday. They are the scourge of the South. They were imported and planted as a hedge row and as food for the birds but they got loose and now have taken over many pastures throughout the south.

As humans we often try to do things that we think will be good but that turn out badly and the multi flora rose bush and kudzu are two prime examples.

The sun is up and shining and it promises to be a glorious day.

I leave tomorrow for a week away. I will miss all you at JUB but I shall return on April 7th or 8TH. I hope you can live without me! LOL!

peace to all

 

[valle12tom]

OK guys and gals I am here in the office getting ready to hit the road no later than 10 AM I have promised myself.

I am leaving town for a week. Going north for some family stuff and then a meeting in Richmond VA. Going to Norfolk today and then flying out of there tomorrow morning.

Again last night I left my sliding glass door to the deck outside my bedroom open all night. It was wonderful having fresh air and the sound of frogs all night long.

We had to cut down an old Blue Spruce outside my bedroom yesterday. It was dying from the bottom up and everything we tried just didn't work so we had to cut it down. I always hate to cut a tree down but at least we will get some firewood out of it so it can live again providing heat.

I am not sure what I want to plant in its place. I need to think about that and see what is out there.

I hope you all have a good week and I will see you on the flip side as they say!

peace to you all

 

[valle12tom]

Way to go Roy Williams and your teams incredible win at the NCAA Final Four basketball tournament this past Monday night!

I am not a huge sports fan in general but when my college goes to the final four well then I have to cheer them on. I also worked for the football and basketball teams all during my college career so that makes it special as well.

And what are the odds of someone who does not have a TV being in a hotel on the two nights of the year when his team is playing??? I tell you did I pick the right weekend or what????!!!!

It was a great game and those players are amazing at what they do. I must say I am not a fan of all the tattoos but I guess it is not my body so what the hell but I am not sure what it is all about. I wish someone could tell me. The branding that black athletes do to their arms and for their fraternities what is that all about? Why would they pick a symbol of slavery to do to themselves?

If anyone can answer the question please let me know.

I got to stop at my favorite Starbucks in Winston-Salem on my way but of course they are all my favorites!

And then Allen & Sons Barbecue on 86 outside Durham and Chapel Hill for great barbecue and hush puppies and sweet tea. Wish I had room for dessert!Great place to stop and I was there both ways on my trip so that was great. I even bought 2 pounds for my freezer but I have already polished most of it off.

I had a great trip with to much time on the road but having my CD player and a box full of tunes make the miles and the hours just slip on by so fast.

I also worked on my story and got lots of it mapped out in my head so that was good.

It is good however to be back at home and able to check into JUB land and talk with my friends and family here so that is good as well.

Peace to you all. I missed you.

 

[valle12tom]

Its Friday here in the mountains and it is cloudy and looks like rain all day long. So it may be a good day for catching up on the mounds of paperwork that awaited me upon my return. Kind of makes one wonder why one takes a vacation sometimes but it is good to get away regardless of the work that awaits one upon your return.

I am working this weekend so that will also give me a chance to catch up.

I hope that you all are looking forward to a great weekend.

peace

 

[valle12tom]

Today has stared out rather well. I had the sliding glass doors to my deck open all night. This is spring and I am leaving the doors open. Great to feel the chill in the early AM and all night long and be able to snuggle down under the goose down comforter.

This morning the peepers were calling to me to get up and I looked at the clock and it was 6:15 AM. I lay there just enjoying the early morning mist and clouds in our little valley and of course my hands made their way down to my cock which was soon hard.

I worked on my current story for awhile in my mind while playing with myself and finally jerked off. It was good and felt good. Great way to start the day.

Then a shower and shave and floss and brush and now at work and ready for a great day. Not sure what I have in store for me but I am here and ready and waiting.

peace to you no matter what you are doing this day.

 

[valle12tom]

Well it is Sunday and it is starting out to be a glorious day. When I drove down to get the paper this morning around 7 AM there was a fog drifting around the valley but the sun was starting to lighten up everything.

All was quiet and still and I was the only one on the road. It was great.

Now the sun is up and it looks like it will be terrific.

Yesterday although it started out cloudy and drizzly it turned sunny and wonderful as well. All the daffodils and hyacinths are up. The forsythia is blooming and some of the tulips are up. The peach trees has buds and will soon blossom and the grass is that incredible shade of green that only comes in the Spring. It is so different from the other shades of green.

I went to an internment of ashes yesterday and it was a nice service up on a mountain meadow with 60 miles views in every direction. Sad story but a nice ending I suppose.

I wrote another chapter in my story yesterday afternoon and posted it. Felt good to get that one to bed so to speak. Over 200 pages now.

peace to all today and always.

 

[valle12tom]

Well the weekend just sort of flew by for me. How about you?

Runner reminded me of the color of the weeping willows to add to my list of spring colors that only come once a year. They are so beautiful as they bud out with that very special color. Thanks runner!

Again this AM the mist is swirling around our little piece of earth here in the mountains. I love to just stand naked in front of my living room sliding glass door with my dog at my side looking out on the beauty of the morning. It is truly magical.

I am now in my office with my first cup of coffee checking JUB!

They say rain is moving in this afternoon so I will have to enjoy the morning.

I am having my windshield replaced on my truck. Driving 70 miles per hour on the interstate last week a rock flew off a big contractor truck and smashed into my windshield. It scared me half to death. My heart was beating but I couldn't see a crack and I thought WOW it didn't break.

Then later I saw the crack about 6-7 inches long and curved and coming out of the black bottom of the windshield right in front of me.

My comprehensive insurance covers glass breakage with no deductible so that is good and the company comes right to your house or business to replace the window. That is service!

peace to you all this day and always.

 

[valle12tom]

What are your thoughts on snakes? Do you have any thoughts on snakes? Do they scare you?

I saw three 2 foot snakes yesterday afternoon and they are so fascinating to watch but at the same time there is this kind of built in negative response to snakes. I am not sure if it is the whole Bible thing or something else. It is weird. I think they were garter snakes but one may have been a copperhead. I am never sure.

Most snakes are harmless and are actually quite beneficial but still most of us are scared of them and many people, say "the only good snake is a dead snake."

I wonder why this is? Anyway just some random thoughts today.

As I said yesterday I needed to get my windshield replaced. The installer said 3 PM then called and said 5 PM and then called and said 6:15 and then got here around 6:30 PM. He was very nice and very efficient as he removed the old broken windshield. It was neat to watch him work and he could talk as well.

Then he grabbed the new windshield out of his truck and went "OH SHIT". That of course is never a good thing to hear from an installer. The new glass had cracked all the way down it.

It was supposed to rain last night so we put the old one in and I pulled it into our maintenance building so it would not get wet and he is supposed to be back by 9:30 AM at the latest he said with a new one.

I have to go to Asheville at 10:30 so I hope he makes it back in time!!!

Hope your day is a good one filled with love and all good things and above all peace