Hey I'm 23 years old and I've a problem with my sexual identity, I have always loved woman, I love everything about them I am a very sexual person I will usually do anything that's asked of me because what turns me on is what turns the other person on if that makes sense, anyways since my teens I had a fascination with gay porn its the men I like its just the cock, I think it looks really good lol I have never had any feelings for guys but I do think of getting topped by a guy but i ALWAYS think of giving blowjob's its way up on my to do list but I wish I knew If I was gay or str8, maybe its because Im a very sexual guy I just like anything to do with sex Ive even tried to like guys because it would turn me own more when I masturbate but the feeling is just not there, I love woman and just got out of a 3 year relationship and im looking to dive back in but im just wondering what the hell is wrong with.... Thanks for reading I hope somebody can help with this situation.
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very confused
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HunterM
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Re: need help
You're on a rebound. Don't get involved in a committed relationship with another girl so soon. Keep it casual. Wait.
Explore your sexuality with men to see if it is something you would like to pursue further. You need to find out for yourself. If it is not your thing...then it is not your thing. You can then go back...committing yourself with a girl.
In casual dating, you can date other people because you two are not boyfriend or girlfriend yet (you are not committing exclusively to each other). So you can date men and women at the same time.
You're on a rebound. Don't get involved in a committed relationship with another girl so soon. Keep it casual. Wait.
Explore your sexuality with men to see if it is something you would like to pursue further. You need to find out for yourself. If it is not your thing...then it is not your thing. You can then go back...committing yourself with a girl.
In casual dating, you can date other people because you two are not boyfriend or girlfriend yet (you are not committing exclusively to each other). So you can date men and women at the same time.
TX-Beau
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Re: need help
Having one night stands with guys isn't hard at all. Megatons of gay bitching are about exactly that.
Every time I hear someone say they "can't" have feelings for guys they just want cock, that sends up a red flag. What do you think about gay men, and about the possibility that you may be gay? You don't have to tell us, just ask yourself.
Many, many, many gay men, and bisexual men started exactly where you are saying what you are saying.
You may not be in a mental place where you can accept that, so I wouldn't stress about relationships, rely on yourself for awhile.
Having one night stands with guys isn't hard at all. Megatons of gay bitching are about exactly that.
Every time I hear someone say they "can't" have feelings for guys they just want cock, that sends up a red flag. What do you think about gay men, and about the possibility that you may be gay? You don't have to tell us, just ask yourself.
Many, many, many gay men, and bisexual men started exactly where you are saying what you are saying.
You may not be in a mental place where you can accept that, so I wouldn't stress about relationships, rely on yourself for awhile.
Re: need help
I really have no problem been gay thats the problem im afraid to have sex because i dont have that feeling towards another man i just think its the submissive side of gay sex that really turns me on, im very sexual and have always been up for anything im thinking it might just be sexual but thats still not healthy when trying to get back into the relationship seen.
I really have no problem been gay thats the problem im afraid to have sex because i dont have that feeling towards another man i just think its the submissive side of gay sex that really turns me on, im very sexual and have always been up for anything im thinking it might just be sexual but thats still not healthy when trying to get back into the relationship seen.
TX-Beau
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Re: need help
By "feelings" you mean romantic feelings I'm guessing since every man has feelings for other men.
There is no "submissive" side of gay sex. Just guys that "feel" that bottoming is "submissive." Saying there is, is a misogynistic construct invented by straight guys about women and carried over to gay men as a negative thing.
If you like to bottom, that can be either "passive," or "aggressive." Submission and dominance are an entirely different sexual dynamic, and yes, there is nothing inherently wrong with that either. So do you mean you like to bottom? Or do you mean that you want some guy to use you and call you faggot? Again, you don't have to tell us, just throwing the question out there.
By "feelings" you mean romantic feelings I'm guessing since every man has feelings for other men.
There is no "submissive" side of gay sex. Just guys that "feel" that bottoming is "submissive." Saying there is, is a misogynistic construct invented by straight guys about women and carried over to gay men as a negative thing.
If you like to bottom, that can be either "passive," or "aggressive." Submission and dominance are an entirely different sexual dynamic, and yes, there is nothing inherently wrong with that either. So do you mean you like to bottom? Or do you mean that you want some guy to use you and call you faggot? Again, you don't have to tell us, just throwing the question out there.
TX-Beau
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Re: need help
Oh and yeah, you need to realize that many gay/bi men are far more afraid of the emotions than the actions, and you sound like that's what's going on.
If this is interfering with you asking women out, you might want to consider that a little longer before dismissing it.
Oh and yeah, you need to realize that many gay/bi men are far more afraid of the emotions than the actions, and you sound like that's what's going on.
If this is interfering with you asking women out, you might want to consider that a little longer before dismissing it.
Re: need help
I dont mean to be offensive im just i would like to be submissive with a guy, i have been submissive with a girl before and felt great that i was there just to please her, I am very sexual person my previous girlfriend and i would try anything and the thought of doing something that seemed dirty or forbidding really turned me on. Im dying to ask a girl out im just wondering if its a good idea to try gay sex if im not romantically interested in men, what if i like giving bjs which i really think i will but not be interested in the guy, that would leave me in weird place..... if im causing any offense i apologies but this is why i need advice my head is scrambled.
I dont mean to be offensive im just i would like to be submissive with a guy, i have been submissive with a girl before and felt great that i was there just to please her, I am very sexual person my previous girlfriend and i would try anything and the thought of doing something that seemed dirty or forbidding really turned me on. Im dying to ask a girl out im just wondering if its a good idea to try gay sex if im not romantically interested in men, what if i like giving bjs which i really think i will but not be interested in the guy, that would leave me in weird place..... if im causing any offense i apologies but this is why i need advice my head is scrambled.
TX-Beau
FEAR THE LIBERAL DETENTE!
Re: need help
OK, so what are you really looking for in here? Permission to suck some dick? Go for it, it's one of my favorite activities, I highly recommend.
The rest of that seems to me that you are interested in being used and pushed around. Again, why the angst, if you are so open about sexual things, why are you in here asking us if you should try it?
If you want to do it, do it.
OK, so what are you really looking for in here? Permission to suck some dick? Go for it, it's one of my favorite activities, I highly recommend.
The rest of that seems to me that you are interested in being used and pushed around. Again, why the angst, if you are so open about sexual things, why are you in here asking us if you should try it?
If you want to do it, do it.
Rolyo85
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Yes, it's normal. Very little in sex is not "normal", and it mostly involves dangerous and/or non-consensual practices. Anything else is perfectly normal, as long as you can find someone to do it with. I am currently fooling around with a guy who loves being dominated, and even choked during sex. We both get off on it though I don't need to dominate anyone in bed.
I know what you mean, I was in the same situation. I like both men and women, but I only love women. Guys turn me on, I watch lots of gay porn and I want to have cocks all over me, but in the eight years since I first realized I lusted for men, I've never felt anything like romantic feelings for any guy, not once. The thought of having a penis in my mouth or in my ass makes me instantly hard, but the thought of having a sentimental relationship with a guy is like the thought of dating a chair. It just does nothing for me. I've talked about it (online) a few times and someone always says something like "you're just in denial" or "you're afraid to acknowledge your feelings", which is annoying. You don't have to be 100% gay or 100% straight, or even 100% bi (if that makes sense). It's perfectly possible and ok to like one gender both sentimentally and sexually, and the other only sexually. I'm not saying that's the case with you because I don't know you, but if it is, you have nothing to worry about, and "trying to like guys" will only confuse you more. Go ahead and suck dick and get fucked, do it now that you're not committed to a relationship. If it's not in you to love men you won't love them no matter what, and you can go back to date a girl whenever you like. On the other hand, if it turns out you do have feelings for men, that's fine too. No problem either way, just do what feels ok to you and don't try to force yourself to feel things that don't come to you naturally.
haha. it's so funny. i hooked up with a guy who almost fits your psychological description. i've been chatting him for 2 months on grindr. he says he's straight and can only be attached emotionally to a girl. i said, then find a girl. then he said he likes getting head from a guy. so i asked if he wants a bj and he says no.
so basically, he's conflicted. i said, relax, this is not the middle east. you can be what you want. he said he wanted to just make out. so i invited him over. we did more than make out. we did exchange numbers and he said he still has no feelings for guys. i said, then good; find a girl then. but somehow i'm not convinced. so last night i could tell he REALLY wanted to get fucked. but sometimes, i think you need some guys to make up their minds first. it will take time. what's the thing called? denial, anger, bargaining, fear or depression, then acceptance.
i don't know where you are now but you need to hook up with a guy. no emotional attachments, just sex. get a blow job. or suck dick since you want to be in a submissive mode or get fucked - just do it safely and prepare for it. enjoy it for what it is. it's just sex. then take two aspirins in the morning, lol. jk. do it a couple of times. a single event, does not make a trend. do it 7 times at least.
if you liked it, you'd want to do it again. if you didn't, then you will look back at it as a chore that was not enjoyable and you can etch it in stone that it just wasn't for you. you tried it and it didn't work. then go find a nice girl that can give you happiness, it that is really meant for you. but try it with guys first. i find it tragic that guys who got married and had children actually divorced later because it took them that miserably long time to figure out that they actually liked men.
i find it sad to meet guys looking for dick on the down low because they don't want their wife to find out. they shouldn't have married a girl in the first place.
so basically, he's conflicted. i said, relax, this is not the middle east. you can be what you want. he said he wanted to just make out. so i invited him over. we did more than make out. we did exchange numbers and he said he still has no feelings for guys. i said, then good; find a girl then. but somehow i'm not convinced. so last night i could tell he REALLY wanted to get fucked. but sometimes, i think you need some guys to make up their minds first. it will take time. what's the thing called? denial, anger, bargaining, fear or depression, then acceptance.
i don't know where you are now but you need to hook up with a guy. no emotional attachments, just sex. get a blow job. or suck dick since you want to be in a submissive mode or get fucked - just do it safely and prepare for it. enjoy it for what it is. it's just sex. then take two aspirins in the morning, lol. jk. do it a couple of times. a single event, does not make a trend. do it 7 times at least.
if you liked it, you'd want to do it again. if you didn't, then you will look back at it as a chore that was not enjoyable and you can etch it in stone that it just wasn't for you. you tried it and it didn't work. then go find a nice girl that can give you happiness, it that is really meant for you. but try it with guys first. i find it tragic that guys who got married and had children actually divorced later because it took them that miserably long time to figure out that they actually liked men.
i find it sad to meet guys looking for dick on the down low because they don't want their wife to find out. they shouldn't have married a girl in the first place.