Very short question, need serious advice pls

[shaun36]

So I will make it very short, I am 28, i met a guy who is in college (21), we started dating, and have gone for 8 dinner dates, and I pay for the dinner since he is in college and I earn good. But everytime I ask him for video call, he makes excuses, I call him to talk he never picks it up, I txt him but after 3-4 messages he says he is busy doing uni work or sleeping. He rarely asks me about my life, only txts me on fridays when I have to take him for dinner. So after 8th date he agreed to have coffee at my place, I was excited, took him for a fancy dinner but in the middle of dinner he made an excuse that there was some other commitment in his family. Is he only looking for fancy dinners that I buy for him? To be honest I am more cuter than him but i found him charming so i wanted to give this thing a chance but he rarely txts, and I dont think its leading anywhere. Please suggest!!!!!

 

[KaraBulut]

Very short question​

...Is he only looking for fancy dinners that I buy for him?...

Very short answer: yes.

Long answer: After 3-5 of these "dinner dates", maybe it was time to make clear whether this was a friendship, "smoochership" or whether there was the prospect of something more than a friendship?

There are times in a real relationship where one person contributes more than the other and it can go back and forth. For example, if one of your friends is struggling with job opportunities or if your boyfriend is going through a difficult time. However, if you look at the balance of things over time and you find that you're investing more into the relationship and not getting anything remotely resembling a return on your investment, then it's time to cut the other person loose. Spend your valuable time (and money) with people who are interesting in making an investment in the friendship/relationship.

Next time, if a week goes by and he doesn't initiate the texts or the calls, then when he texts on Friday asking if the two of you are going to dinner, respond, "You buying?". That will probably be the end of it.

 

[jaysizzles]

You didn't mention any sexual contact with the 21 yr old...have you been intimate with him at all? If it's only been dinner with no sex or even heavy petting/2nd base, I'd say he's using you for meals. IDK, but typically a 21 yr old guy is interested in having sex even if it's blow jobs or jerking off. It doesn't sound like you're getting anything out of these dates, and not that sex is required, but there should at least be something in it for you. I'd say you just need to be blunt with him and find out what he's looking for in your relationship, and if it's just feeding him then I'd drop him.

 

[cabinfever]

He isn't interested for whatever reason but he IS interested in the free meals.

My advice - don't wait for him to call the shots - find another guy to take to dinner. The world is full of attractive and charming men. Find one that treats you with respect.