kyless85
On the Prowl
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- Jun 2, 2005
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I just need to vent. I'm in love with him, and it's not the typical " i'm in love with a straight boy" thread, i've been there before, but in the end you always end up realizing it was never meant to happen. This is different, i very much like him, and i'm running out of time, 18 days from now it's very probable i'll never see him again, we're both heading back to our respective countries. I know he's extremely fond of me, even if we've got different ways to show it because of our cultural differences.
He sends me so much mixed messages, and i know he's not playing with me, i honestly think he's just not used to doing this, me neither. I know most of you will say we'll only end up getting hurt, but i'd rather have this than nothing. It makes me very sad knowing it's very possible we we'll never see each other again, even though we'll remain good friends. He's bisexual i believe, even though he behaves straight all the time and has never mentioned swinging another way. And as soon as he returns home he'll go back to his girlfriend. I'm not willing to do anything impulsive, i don't wanna risk his friendship, which again i'd rather have instead of nothing. We have this really cool love/hate relationship, we're always making fun and bothering each other, but we never get angry. The other day he told me with this exact words in a kinda serious manner "how do u think this is gonna end between us? this relationship, this love hate relationship? i think it'll be love, and smiled" and i just said "yeah", but on the inside i felt like i was about to explode, he had no idea how that was making me feel, or maybe he did. But as confident as he is sometimes in saying stuff i never expected, the next minute he shies or completely changes his tune. I feel like i'm not making much sense at all, it's been a loooong time since i ever felt something for anyone, i even thought i was uncapable of loving.
I just needed to talk about it, i hadn't accepted to myself I was falling for him, i just thought i lusted for him. I like him a lot. I just think this is a sad situation, i did not plan falling for him at all. I'll miss him.
He sends me so much mixed messages, and i know he's not playing with me, i honestly think he's just not used to doing this, me neither. I know most of you will say we'll only end up getting hurt, but i'd rather have this than nothing. It makes me very sad knowing it's very possible we we'll never see each other again, even though we'll remain good friends. He's bisexual i believe, even though he behaves straight all the time and has never mentioned swinging another way. And as soon as he returns home he'll go back to his girlfriend. I'm not willing to do anything impulsive, i don't wanna risk his friendship, which again i'd rather have instead of nothing. We have this really cool love/hate relationship, we're always making fun and bothering each other, but we never get angry. The other day he told me with this exact words in a kinda serious manner "how do u think this is gonna end between us? this relationship, this love hate relationship? i think it'll be love, and smiled" and i just said "yeah", but on the inside i felt like i was about to explode, he had no idea how that was making me feel, or maybe he did. But as confident as he is sometimes in saying stuff i never expected, the next minute he shies or completely changes his tune. I feel like i'm not making much sense at all, it's been a loooong time since i ever felt something for anyone, i even thought i was uncapable of loving.
I just needed to talk about it, i hadn't accepted to myself I was falling for him, i just thought i lusted for him. I like him a lot. I just think this is a sad situation, i did not plan falling for him at all. I'll miss him.
