Ok, i don't have Vista, but i think i can help you out here, as i doubt theres much difference b/w vista and XP in this regard.
The main thing is, don't use any windows built in DVD burning if you want something to be professional looking, it's fine if you want to stick a play button and movie on the DVD, but not if you want complex options.
I would definitely recommend you get something like NERO or ROXIO easy media creator to make your DVDs. I really don't think your problem is with the playing end of your DVD, i think it's not burning properly. If your DVD player wasn't going to recognize the burned DVD, it simply would not play it at all, there wouldn't be any "no menus" and stuff like that.
I would suggest first you get Nero, and make the DVD again. All you need to do is open the video(s) you want, load menu pics/footage/sounds, arrange your buttons and what not, then burn it. I've never had any problems with nero burning (except an occasional bad DVD period, which you will get from time to time).
As for DVD compatibility, how old is your DVD player(s)? If it's even slightly new, and cost more than $20, it will most likely play any DVD type (+/- R +/- RW). And actually, -R is the most compatible for older DVD players. But +R is the most popular now because it's faster, better for use in computers, and all new DVD players can play them.
I think the main thing you need though, is a better DVD authoring program. The Freebies are good for simple things, but suck if you want any kind of animation or movie menus. Nero and Roxio cover that pretty well. And if you want truly pro dvds with multi menus and options, you need something like Adobe Encore DVD, which costs hundreds of dollars. Nero and/or roxio cost about $50-80
IF YOU PAY for it...
