Walmart Crush

[jeffhardylover8472]

There's this really cute cashier at one of the Walmart's where I live. Every time I'm there, I always hope I get him, and I've gotten him quite a few times. I can't tell if he's gay or not as I'm no good at that haha, but today I got the strangest feeling that he may be. This may sound strange, but there's something in his voice that gave me that feeling. I'm not out to the public, so I'd find it highly uncomfortable to talk to him about this. What all can I do?

 

[tigerfan482]

The only 100% sure way to know is to talk to him. Other than that, it would mostly be just guessing mixed with wishing.

 

[Seasoned]

Crushes seem to mean more when you're in the closet. What would otherwise lend itself to an off hand comment as to how cute or hot a guy was takes on a life of it's own as a big "what if."

Unless you're willing to take a risk and get to know him better you might find yourself obsessing because you need an outlet.

Just tonight I was crushing on a waiter. I'm out of the country. My husband stayed at home. My daughter told me to knock it off when I mentioned that the waiter was cute. My point is that it was a bit of a fantasy, half serious and very short lived.

My advice is to talk to the guy and also to begin a coming out plan for yourself when you feel ready, of course.

 

[jensu846]

i had a crush on a Walmart employee that I had heard was gay, and I would always see him stocking the grocery shelves so I would always go up and down that aisle and say Hi. Eventually I worked up the nerve to give him my name and phone # on a slip of paper I had written out.. It was so scary, I walked up to him and said hey, call me sometime if you want and handed him the slip of paper. About 3 days later, he called. We went on a date and we fooled around after. It was awesome. We never went out again, but I am so glad I did it. Maybe you should try it and see what happens. The worst thing that could happen is he says no. good luck man!

 

[HunterM]

I need to start going to Walmart to find love.

 

[Durango95]

Geez...Is this grade school? Talk to the guy. I wouldn't advise asking him if you could go down on him but something a little more like ...Hi my name is blabla. His name is on his tag. Just say hey dude or (insert his name) want to go out and do whatever. I mean whatever you do where you live, running up and down the strip or cow-tipping or mudding..whatever. If you start off as friends then you can get a sense for where it can go. If it turns out he's not gay or doesn't want to fool around, then at least you have made a friend. It has been my experience that no one has too many friends.

Now the coming out thing. It is way hard to come out in a small town. I am assuming you're in a small town if you're cruising the Walmart for guys. Be very careful about it. I'm not saying be scared but be very methodical about it. Things can spin way out of control especially in small venues where everyone knows everyone.

 

[jarib1]

Ask him that's all it will take to be able to find out.

 

[Just_Believe18]

To be fair, it's hard to just ask some random cashier with a line of people behind you if you'd like to go out with them sometime. I've found a lot of guys attractive in retail, but it seems a bit rude for a customer to hit on a captive audience that actually works there. Remember the motto we tell our own members here, "Don't shit where you eat?" Well, the employee may feel the same.

It is good advice you're being given to just ask the guy (minus the belittling). There are also subtle things you can do by putting a Human Rights Campaign sticker or rainbow flag sticker on your wallet. So when you pull it out to give him payment, he can see the sticker on your wallet. Check his reaction to see if he recognizes it.

 

[TX-Beau]

My advice, go hit on guys in places you don't have to have the angst fest over their sexuality.

Yes - hot guy at Wal Mart, eye candy; no - obsess over his sexuality, you know nothing about the guy, he could be a complete asshole.

 

[Rolyo85]

My advice, go hit on guys in places you don't have to have the angst fest over their sexuality.

Yes - hot guy at Wal Mart, eye candy; no - obsess over his sexuality, you know nothing about the guy, he could be a complete asshole.

But then those would be REAL gay people, and ACTUAL interaction might occur! Much better to obsess over a vague and hardly attainable thing...

 

[JustMe5]

I agree that the best way to find out if he's gay is to ask him (if you manage to get in his line when there are no other customers around) or drop a hint somehow and see how he responds to it (like the suggestion that you should put an HRC sticker on your wallet).

I see this as just a harmless crush. And there's nothing wrong with crushing over straight men. After all, as gay men we are attracted to MEN. I've been in exactly the reverse situation: I once worked as a retail cashier and had crushes on some of my male customers. Those were just harmless crushes. I wasn't expecting anything to develop from those crushes. I was simply "enjoying the view" and enjoying my interactions with the men.

 

[TX-Beau]

There is nothing wrong with crushing over hot guys SO LONG AS you do it with some kind of realistic expectation. There is something wrong with using unattainable crushes to avoid dealing with the gay.

Not that I'm saying that's what you are doing. Just be careful, homophobic blow-back is not a myth.

 

[SaskGuy]

Oh I know what you mean!
There used to be a really hot, very nice bartender at the lounge near my house. He would usually have my drink ready just after I approached the bar to order something. If I was there alone, I'd sit at the bar and we'd have a friendly little conversation if he wasn't too busy.
He had a few extra pounds, and although I'm normally into skinny, geeky guys, this bartender was one of the sexiest guys I've ever seen. Of course, his personality helped too
He eventually left to pursue another career. I ran into him at Wal-Mart a few years later, and he said hi. It was cool that he remembered me!

There was another really cute bartender at the same place, and I swear he was gay, and attracted to me. Yes it's their job to be friendly, but I'm sure that doesn't apply when they're on a break... one time in particular I was outside waiting for a cab, and he was having a smoke, and I think he was chatting me up (although a little bit awkwardly, and in the most subtle way possible). When he finished his smoke, he accidentally flicked the butt at me (I was standing near the ashtray) and it landed on my jacket. He apologized and came up and wiped the ashes off, in an almost sensuous way... DAMN! I should have got his number! Unfortunately, I think he was fired after a short while for working too slowly.