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Was He Special or Just Covenient?

RAJ Aladdin said:
When you had your first sexual encounter was it with the person you loved at the time or was it just anybody? In other words, did you lose your virginity to someone who loved you (and who you loved back) OR did you lose your virginity to any random person because you were eager to have sex? And if it was the latter option do you wish/believe you could/should have loss your virginity to a love than a hot stranger?
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A random person in a backroom in New York City. I was young, dumb and
full of cum. What can I say.
 
Eh, it's probably dependent on your personality and what you truly seek to accomplish.

Fortunately -- or unfortunately -- I'm still a virgin. I'm 23 now, but when I was younger than 21 I probably would have had my first sexual encounter with just about anybody. I was one lonesome, horny teenager ;). But after a few more years, I realized that I really wanted to lose my virginity to someone that I could trust and love. This decision came about when I had my first kiss about a year ago. I was unknowingly flirting with a guy I didn't know was gay at a small party, and hours later that night at a gay club, we ran into each other unexpectedly and he kissed me like we had been waiting for years to do it. It was like a "gay" Disney scene. :D Although the relationship didn't last very long, I still trusted him and to some degree loved him.

So for me, I think it's worth the wait to have sex, so it'll feel special like my first kiss. Yes, maybe I'm trying too hard to create a "perfect moment," and I'm living in lala land; but I'm not in a rush, and I don't feel like I need to do it. But that's just me and my pursuit to happiness.
 
RAJ Aladdin said:
That's kinda like me. I'm still waiting for my first kiss. I probably would have gotten kissed by now but I'm still waiting for "him" or "her" to give it to me. I think I'm a joke to my friends because I've never experienced any of that stuff but I rather be in love when and if I ever do make love.
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Eh, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to wait it out. I know there's a social stigma of being a virgin with a lot of my straight male friends, and to me it always sounds like a bunch of ego and pride. I always point this out to them, and it's funny how they can't come up with a logical response as to why they need to lose their virginity so badly.

I don't know if that same stigma exists in the gay community, but I have always tried my best to ignore such things. I always try to do what I believe is right for me, and for that reason, I have nothing to be ashamed of. If you can be proud of your decision, then it's easier to ignore what other people think.

So, if you'd rather wait until you fall in love to do it, then you should do it! If you don't care at all and just want to get it over with, then you should do that. Choose the path where you will feel less regret over, and don't let what other people think of you interfere with what you want. :-)
 
It was one night stand.

I thought of it as practice.

I didn't swoon around like a 1950's teenage girl in kitten sweaters confusing love with affection or either with sex.

By the time I met the loves of my life I was well practised and I'd like to think that it was part of the attraction. Along the way I made some great friends and casual acquaintances.

But...you do what you want to do.

Just don't ever think that somehow it is a superior approach.
 
Not really, no. Would it have been more "special"? Sure, I guess so. I'd rather have cheesecake than milk'n'cookies, too, but that doesn't mean I look back on regret every time I eat milk'n'cookies. :)

By the time I met my partner, I'd had sex with just two guys. He'd had more. But neither of us looked at each other as "damaged goods" or anything. I've met a couple guys he had sex with, and they're cool guys. I'm happy he had a happy sex life before I came along. :)

Lex
 
Of course he was special; he was the new guy in town, fifteen like myself, and we bonded as more than friends very quickly.

When the sex happened it all seemed so right and natural. We both wanted and needed it and confirmed the bond that was already there between us. It lasted through high school.

I loved him then and I love him still and as two long/time/married/men we look back on that time and that old feeling comes back strong.

We agree that everyone should be as lucky as we were in discovering that other side of their sexuality.

Srangely, we never thought of ourselves as anything but regular guys doing what other guys were probably also doing.
 
i lost mine to a guy who i hated in high school but met again while in college when he told me he had a huge crush on me. we did it on the third(ish) date. it wasn't too pleasant but i was glad it was with someone i knew and who like me. we because boyfriends and it lasted a good while in gay-time...4 months. long distance separated us and we decided to put "us" on hold.

i'm glad i waited because it was special, i came really close to making mistakes with other people. he was sum1 i can look back on and say i had feelings for and who had feelings for me in return.

thanks to him, i feel free to be a whore now that my v-card rests safely in his pants, lol kidding. but i did appreciate it more and he appreciated me having sex with him for my first time. he said he would have thought that someone would have snagged me long ago and he said all the other things that made me feel good about waiting. nice guy, great friend, permanently on my "To Do" list.
 
It was with a stranger. Deliberately.

I wasn't sure what I was doing, and wasn't sure who I was or what I wanted. I just wanted the experience. So, I got it. Actually, the last thing I wanted to do was be with someone I cared about because with all the other confusing feelings I had about male-male sex at the time, the last thing I needed was adding emotion on top of it.

Looking back, I made the right decision (for me).
 
Are anyone's first time with someone special?

Even with straight people, their first times are often more about convenience and opportunity instead of it being the 'special' person.
 
I haven't lost it yet for this reason. I want it to be with the right person who I love and loves me. Maybe its old fashioned but I just feel like my first time should be special.
 
Meh, when it feels right, you'll know it. And then you'll slowly let go of your inhibitions and lose yourself to the passion...

Wow, I belong in a "Hopeless Romantics Anonymous Group." :D
 
Interesting topic! I'm 22 and still virginal too. I agree that I'm waiting for the "moment" but not necessarily with anyone that's "the love of my life"; more like someone who I'm comfortable with/attracted to and the feeling is mutual. I also agree that there's no rush (yet) but I'm not planning on waiting too much longer:twisted:
 
RAJ Aladdin said:
When you had your first sexual encounter was it with the person you loved at the time or was it just anybody? In other words, did you lose your virginity to someone who loved you (and who you loved back) OR did you lose your virginity to any random person because you were eager to have sex? And if it was the latter option do you wish/believe you could/should have loss your virginity to a love than a hot stranger?
Click to expand...

depends on your definition of virginity I've never actually 'got off' with a guy yet (relax I've barely ever had sexual encounters), but the other guy(s) did get off... I tried doing the hookup thing because I realized that when it comes to being gay you have to know what you like and to know your limits... but to the point and to argue semantics, if it is a choice of having sex with a random person before having sex with someone you love, I don't see the harm as you are still having sex with someone you love, however if the choice is having sex with a random person or just waiting and the idea of sex with someone you love is just an idea and not a fact... well I'd rather have sex with someone I 'like' rather then not at all.

P.S. that is the second time I've seen that picture of Aladdin (your avatar), where is that from!?

(btw if this most didn't make sense, arguing philosophy at 6am generally does not work out well)
 
He was conveniently special. 18 in college, I was really physically attracted to him. He found out I was virgin and that's what I think attracted me to him. The act itself couldn't have been set up in a worse way. Bunking in a living room with two other guys. My only regret was that it couldn't have been more private. My state of mind was just wanting to get it over with, so much better my luck that this hot hottie wanted to help. And for that he will always be special.
 
I lost my virginity around 12 or 13 to a friend I had known since I was 2 or 3 lol. Wasn't love, that's for sure, but it was a safe encounter with someone I knew. We messed around a lot until he moved (he had lived down the street up till then) and a few more times after he moved and that was that. I had a string of other meaningless sexual relationships until last year when I settled down with my current bf and hopefully long-term partner.

I honestly do not regret doing things the way I did and wouldn't go back. I love what I have now but I don't know if I could appreciate it the same way if I hadn't done what I did in the past. Not to mention that being an experienced sexual partner is an asset in any relationship and my boyfriend really appreciates it! :p
 
SillyTugBoat said:
Meh, when it feels right, you'll know it. And then you'll slowly let go of your inhibitions and lose yourself to the passion...

Wow, I belong in a "Hopeless Romantics Anonymous Group." :D
Click to expand...

Runewell said:
Interesting topic! I'm 22 and still virginal too. I agree that I'm waiting for the "moment" but not necessarily with anyone that's "the love of my life"; more like someone who I'm comfortable with/attracted to and the feeling is mutual. I also agree that there's no rush (yet) but I'm not planning on waiting too much longer:twisted:
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Agree with both of your reasons because I'm still waiting too lol
20 year old here.
 
Lots of virgins in here, I don't feel so alone :P

I want to wait until I'm in lurrrrvvvvv to have sex as well.
 
My first time was with somebody special. Having your first time with someone you care for makes everything special and it's a lifetime souvenir.
 
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