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Was I wrong?

H

herenthere

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In Loving Memory
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Last evening I was coming home from a Doctors appointment with a friend when we stopped at a little mini-mart truck stop place for milk.

I'm still on a walker so it takes me some time to get from car into store.
Two abvious cold, dirty, tired and hungry homeless men stopped me and ask if I had a cigarette. I'm not a smoker so I could not help.

I went ahead and made my purchases, those two guys were really on my mind. This place had showers to be purchased for the truck drivers. I went and ask in a friendly tackfull way, if they would like a hot shower..they accepted and thanked me.

Now mind you, (and I don't want to sound judgemental) that these guys were dysfunctional to say the least...smelling of alcohol and the whole thing.

While they were upstairs showering, I bought a few grocerie items for them, including some hot deli food. Now....I also bought a couple (2) beers and put them in the sack, as well as a pack of smokes. (holy crap cigs are spendy).

I ask the clerk to give them the sack when they were finished and we left.

When we got in the car, my friend, made it a point to tell me that buying them beer and cigarettes is only enabling them..and I was wrong to aid their dependencys.

One of my greatest pleasures, is being able to help someone in a small way..I felt guilty and bad after we left.

I just think that these two guys are having a really HARD time...(it's not my job to judge them rather or not it is their own doing?) but I just felt if I could ease their misery just for a few hours, I could feel good about it....

My friend and I exchanged a few words...voiced our opinions and let it drop..

What you say...Was I wrong about the beer and cigs?????

:confused: :confused:
 
I think you did the right thing. Most people would have walked on by and promptly forgot about the two men. As long as your friend dropped the subject consider it the past and take pride in the fact that you were willing to help your fellow man without prejudice.

Wally
 
Not wrong at all. You could have left out the beer and cigs but I'll bet they were happy to see them.

After all we're not talking about making them better people we're talking about putting a smile on their dirty faces.

Should they ever ponder your kindness they'll remember you as that guy who didn't buy them juice and accepted them as they were instead of tyring to make them as you thought they should be.

Well Done. ..|
 
Good for you! I've done the same thing on occasion and probably will again.It's a nice thing to bring a smile to someone's face who doesn't have much to smile about. Besides, it made you feel good about yourself didn't it?
 
Not wrong at all. That was a fine thing you did. The fact that you CHOOSE to help your fellow man should make you feel proud!:=D:
 
I agree with the others, you did a good thing. I probably would have left the beer out, more then the cigs! But it was a thoughtful gesture just the same!
 
You did a great thing. One beer and a few cigarettes aren't going to make any difference to their futures. Don't worry about it.
 
naked gent said:
Not wrong at all. You could have left out the beer and cigs but I'll bet they were happy to see them.

After all we're not talking about making them better people we're talking about putting a smile on their dirty faces.

Should they ever ponder your kindness they'll remember you as that guy who didn't buy them juice and accepted them as they were instead of tyring to make them as you thought they should be.

Well Done. ..|
Click to expand...

I absolutely could not agree more. Congratulations on a wonderfully selfless act. You done good!!
 
I wouldn't say you were necessarily wrong about the beer and cigarettes... An act of kindness need not be all-encompassing. And I think it even kinder that you would do something that they would enjoy and appreciate even if it were something of which you personally disapproved. In a way, it sort of lowers the selflessness of an act of charity if you impose your morality as a condition on the act.

I think the simple message that somebody in this world views them as human beings rather than carbuncles on the face of society is about as positive a message as they're ever likely to get... they may or may not receive that message, but you did your part nevertheless.

And I wouldn't have done anything at all... I would have looked them in the face and acknowledged their humanity when I told them I didn't have a cigarette, but I wouldn't have done anything to help them. I'm too surrounded by homeless people in this city to be able to help them all, and so I very seldom can bring myself to help any of them.

I'm also intensely selfish. My stuff! You can't have any!
 
No I don't think you were wrong.

These 2 have nothing and you gave them what they wanted and needed without making a judgement.

It was extremely kind of you to do this.
 
You are an incredibly kind hearted guy. The good you did far outweighed the slight bad of giving beer to someone who appeared to be an alcoholic. I personally would never buy cigarettes for anyone, no matter the circumstances, but that's just me.

PS - I'm glad to hear that you are making progress with your recovery and that you are now doing well enough to make stops like this one. I hope you have a full recovery soon.
 
The fact that they accepted your paying for a hot shower over a hand out tells me that they are NOT just out for drug money. Everyone deserves a beer every now and again.
 
To have left out the beer and ciggs would not have cured them, to include them will have given them pleasure. The fact that you did anything at all speaks volumes about you. You just made two peoples day better than they could ever have imagined. Well done my friend, be proud. (*8*)
 
joeslifeyork said:
In all honesty, given half the chance these guys would probably happily jump you, nick your wallet and leave you for dead, just to get another bottle of White Lightening...
Click to expand...


What's your point? It may be that these two men are presented with the opportunity to rob someone in the future, but the memory of this young man's actions towards them will change their hearts. And maybe not. But helping them was still a mature and compassionate way to react to their obvious suffering, regardless of what they "would have done" in some hypothetical scenario.
 
I think your intentions were good. I personally would have bought them things that would have been healthy for them, like juice and food beyond cigarettes and beer. But I think in general, you did a benevolent thing.
 
I think it was a very nice thing to do, it was only TWO beers, not like you bought them a keg and a bottle of tequila. They obviusly have very few pleasures in life so one beer and a pack of cigarettes split between them cant hurt.

I would have left off the cigarettes though but only because I used to smoke, I wouldnt wanna encourage someone to continue.
 
That was really nice of you!!! I wouldn't spend much time overthinking this. You didn't something nice for someone in need.
 
Thanks everone for your input....

I appreciate your support ...Wherever they are, I wish them the best..

And yes, I'm doing well with my therephy. I can walk short distances with no aid..
but my legs are weak, and I tire easily. I have one more surgery scheduled for my eye...my whole eye socket was torn away in the accident. The doctor has assured me that when they are finished I will have good vision and very little scar..(thanks to plastic surgery)

My emotional healing is slow to come...I miss my dear Forrest so much..but I try to stay busy by day planing and trying to re-group. My nights are long...hard..the night can be so cruel.

Anyway..ever onward...I will beat this both physical and emotionally and hope I come out the other side a better person..

Bless all my friends here...you know how much I love you....

Shalom
Shaun
 
imo if you thing it was the right thing at that moment, then, there's nothing wrong with it.
 
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