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Was it pedophelia?

wastingmymind said:
I've never heard of anyone being charged of ephebophilia.
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Or pedophilia for that matter. Its not something someone can be charged with. Its something people get called.

They usually get charged with SODOMY, USE CHILD DISPLAY SEX ACT, etc.

And the reason why I said that feelings don't play a role is because it shouldn't. The fact that people may have feelings for their rapists make the situation complex, but the rapist is still a rapist.
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Well then why did you say it? Its either they do or they don't. If they "shouldn't" then they obviously do.
 
Were you willing?
If yes, you were not innocent because you were willing and you did enjoyed it !!!
 
1st off laws are different country to country. In the United States 14 is a child. You go to prison and become a class 1 sex offender on the sex offender list. Regardless if th OP consented or not he is a child at 14 and not considered old enough to make that judgment. Unsafe sex in a bathroom stall with a minor if proof of that. The guy is a parasite. As an adult you are obligated to make the choice not to engage in sex with a child because children do not have the experience or the wisdom to make that choice. The guy is a piece of shit
 
Telstra said:
Were you willing?
If yes, you were not innocent because you were willing and you did enjoyed it !!!
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If a 14yo boy asked you to have unprotected sex with him would you? (btw i didnt ask) i never said i was innocent, i never claimed not to enjoy it thanks
 
The definition of a pedophile is someone who has a sexual preference for prepubescent children.

That's all there is to the definition.

Neither your consent (you legally cannot, at 14) nor your feelings towards the person changes this.

If you can't get your head around it, you need to speak with someone who can advise you further.
 
I agree and i am starting to get my head around it, its just the more and more people say yes. The less the "it's ok i liked him" excuse works thanks to everyone for commenting you all helped at a time where i have been confused
 
He shouldn't have done what he did but I don't think you should get worked up over it. You were fine with it, there is no need to start worrying about it now because it won't make you feel any better.
 
This is why it's considered wrong. He took advantage of a young inexperienced kid in order to get what he wanted. So don't beat yourself up about it. If the experience wasn't that scarring or jarring, just consider it a dunderhead move by a young kid. We all have them.

Lex
 
I had a sexual relationship with an older man when I was 15/16 but I know I was mature enough to deal with the physical aspects of the relationship as well as the emotional aspects. He was the furthest thing from predator you can imagine and we still keep in touch from time to time now. If anything I think I sought him out more than he sought me.

I think in your case though with the way you describe the encounters being "one sided" it seems like you weren't fully aware or mature enough at the time to understand the implications of what you were doing and what he was doing to you. He sounds like a predator. I wouldn't say pedophile though but a definite perv.
 
I'm not a 100% sure if he was a pedophile. If you were physically mature and did not look childish then I am not sure if that is pedophilia. But what I do know is the guy is an ass hole and rapist and pathetic for using you and taking advantage of your youth.

I pry this does not stick with you, and you move on. Don't discount see someone to talk about this experience. It might have hurt you in ways that you don't know yet.

This type of thing gets me so fucking pissed off. My thoughts are with you.
 
I'm envious. I would have loved to have received that kind of attention from an older guy when I was 14.
 
The LEGAL definition of pedophile varies by State legislation.

one definition i found clearly states at least a 6 year age difference --
so could that be a 10 year old and a 16 year old? sure -
and your guy was 10 years older rite? so he could have been prosecuted as a pedophile in some jurisdictions.
 
Things that feel good don't always feel right.

Well, at least for me.
 
saymyname said:
It might be statutory rape but it's not pedophilia. You were not a prepubescent child and you can't call someone a pedophile just because he was a deceptive guy.

Morally questionable? Yes. Pedophile, no. At that age you can make decision and consent and to say otherwise is to deny sexuality to young people.
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That act no. But did the guy do this to other, younger children? We don't know. Did the OP at the time look younger? We don't know that either. The man was definitely a predator.

saymyname said:
That doesn't make any sense. The age of majority is a social construction and that it happens to be 18 doesn't mean that you can't make consensual and informed decisions at a younger age. Would this situation still be so demonized if they actually ended up dating or having a substantial relationship? Would it be so demonized if it was a 14 year old boy fucking a 24 year old woman, off of his own consent? No, I don't think so.

How can someone be "legally" a pedophile but not psychologically? Legally he's a statutory rapist. Learn what words actually mean, for fucks sake, people.
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The point is, as I stated above, the man was/is definitely a predator.

CudDULL said:
Yes he was a "pedophile". You are still a minor at 14 and you can not consent to sex until you are 16. Therefore that makes him a sexual predator.

Even though you did "love" him it doesn't change the nature of his behavior, which was pedophilia. Going after someone who is only 14 when there is a 10 year age gap is wrong and must have to do with some psychological disorder.
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An adult going after anyone who is not and adult in a sexual fashion is wrong.

G-Lexington said:
This is why it's considered wrong. He took advantage of a young inexperienced kid in order to get what he wanted. So don't beat yourself up about it. If the experience wasn't that scarring or jarring, just consider it a dunderhead move by a young kid. We all have them.

Lex
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I agree. I still believe the man to be a pedophile. The most probable reason he left you is that you were a little old for his taste (having chosen someone as old as 14 because he couldn't find anyone younger he could get access to safely)
 
Yes he was, from everything you describe about him, taking advantage of a child (and I consider 14 year olds child), and a predator he sure was, going to forums for non adults in the first place.
 
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