WATCHING BRAD
Part LXX
"Daddy!!" Both boys shouted at me this time. Urgency in stereo.
I opened the bedroom door and the twins stood beside their bed, stark naked. "What's going on here?" I laughed.
"We want to wear our swimsuits," Justin replied with a smirk.
"Can we, Daddy?" Jeremy asked.
Too adorable, those two. "Okay, put those clothes in the laundry hamper. I'll get your suits." As they scrambled to pick up their clothes, I headed downstairs to the laundry room to retrieve their new swim trunks off the clothes line we have strung between walls down there.
When I got back upstairs, the boys were sitting on the carpet in the livingroom, staring up at the television and watching Brad and Barry play some game on one of Brad's other systems. They were still starkers. I approached them.
"Aren't you boys missing something?"
"It's okay, Daddy," Justin said as he smiled up at me. "Lindsay's not here."
"That's not the point. You should have something on out here," I replied as I dropped one suit on each of the twins' heads. "Get them on," I told them, then went to sit by Brad on the sofa.
"Wanna play?" Brad asked.
I snorted through my nose. "Are you kidding? Barry could play blindfolded with his hands cuffed behind his back and he'd
still win against me!"
"I could handle that," Barry laughed. "Brad here is whoopin' my ass! Oh, sorry."
"It's okay to say it, Barry," I said, winking at him. "Just don't flash it in front of the kids."
"Daddy, we're thirsty," Justin said. "Can we have some Cream Soda?"
"And a sucker?" Jeremy added, reminding Barry of his promise.
"At the table," I said.
"Want me to get it?" Brad asked.
"Nah," I said. "Carry on whoopin' ass, Tiger." I put my hand on Brad's thigh and pushed myself to my feet. By the time I got up, the boys were parked on their knees in front of Barry and Brad.
"Nathan!" Barry called. "Get the suckers, will ya?"
As I headed for the basement to get the pop for the boys, Nathan called back from the kitchen, "I thought they were in there with you! All I've got out here are the lollipops!"
"That's what I'm talking a. . . ! Oh. Very funny, Nathan!"
Brad's laughter followed me into the laundry room. I grabbed two tins of Cream Soda out of the fridge and headed back upstairs again. By the time I got to the table, the boys were sorting through the suckers. "Just one," I told them as I opened the cans and set them in front of them. "You have to save a few for Lindsay, remember?"
"Okay, Daddy," Justin replied.
I went, then, to check on Nathan's progress. "Need any help?"
"Nope," he replied. "Everything's under control."
"Mmmm. Smells good," I said. "You're making fish and chips from scratch?"
"Of course," he said. "None of that frozen crap for you guys. Don't worry. The fish is boneless. I checked each fillet personally."
"The least I can do is set the table."
"
That you can help me with. Thanks."
Somehow, I managed to stay out of Nathan's way as I set the dishes and silverware.
"Barry said you were into gardening," I said by way of making conversation.
"Oh, yes. I used to have a beautiful garden back home in Vancouver. I miss it. I used to spend hours out there when Barry was on shift. Of course, it's nothing compared to what you've got out front. Did you do it yourself?"
"No," I replied. "Brad did."
"Bradley?" He sounded genuinely surprised.
"Yup. Designed it and built it almost by himself. He had a bit of help from a neighbour. He's doing his parents' garden next door now. Just waiting to plant."
"Oh, Ted," Nathan said. "Do you think he'd let me help?"
"Ask him," I said. "I'm sure he'd appreciate it. He wants to start his own landscaping business when he graduates next year. He already has an investor and the name's registered and everything."
"Why does everyone else get all the glamour jobs?"
"You sound like you don't like being an accountant."
"It's a job," Nathan said almost sadly. "I like it, but I don't really enjoy it."
"Then change jobs."
"I couldn't do that, Ted. My job is stable, good benefits, and the money is great. It's too big a chance to take."
"But you're not happy, are you?"
"Maybe not, but I'm too old to start thinking about changing careers."
"You're never too old to change, Nathan," I said. "I'm living proof."
Nathan didn't respond, but I could see that he was thinking.
* * * * *
I like fish. That trout I had eaten in the restaurant the week before had been the highlight of my dining career. I've had battered fish of every kind, and I always thought that fish and chips from a fish and chip shop, wrapped in newspaper, was the best there was in the world. But nothing compared to Nathan's fish. The man missed his calling. He was a genius in the kitchen.
He'd even taken special care to cool down the fish and fries for the boys before he served it to them. They particularly enjoyed the home-cut, wedge-shaped chips which, themselves, were delicately battered and seasoned. The boys avoided the tartar sauce, but more than made up for it by using lots of catsup to dip their fries into.
Even dessert was a serious delight. Some sort of home-made custard concoction with golden pound cake and butterscotch pudding and berries and cherries. It was really quite delicious.
Nathan looked enormously pleased as he watched everyone eating.
Later, Barry and I sat on the sofa as Nathan and Brad cleaned up after dinner. The boys sat in my lap watching cartoons.
"No wonder you're built like that," I said to Barry. "Eating like that every day?"
"This was special," Barry said. "Usually, he makes very sensible meals. But, yeah. He's a good cook."
"I get by," I said.
"So do I," Barry added, "as long as everyone likes peanut butter sandwiches."
That made me laugh.
Barry was quiet for a short while, then asked, "What's it like? Being a father, I mean."
I hugged the twins and kissed their hair.
"There's nothing like it in the world, Barry," I said. "It's exhausting sometimes, but the love and happiness you get out of it more than makes up for it. I mean, look at me. The boys depend on me for everything. To keep them safe. To feed them and clothe them. To take care of them and to make everything better when things go wrong. They need me, and I need them. It's the best thing that can happen to anyone. Being needed is the most wonderful feeling in the world."
I kissed the boys again and looked at Barry. He had a distant, lost, far-away look in his eyes as he looked at the twins.
"That's one thing I miss," he said gently, and his voice sent shivers up my spine. That must have been the voice Nathan had fallen in love with. "I feel like I've been robbed somehow."
He was silent again for a long time and I watched his face. The boys laughed at the cartoons and bounced in my lap. Barry's eyes twinkled and a tiny smile curled his lips. Finally, he turned his gaze to me and leaned in to speak quietly in my ear.
"Does it make a difference that they're not really yours?"
"Oh, they're mine alright," I said just as quietly. "Adoption is only a legal word. These boys are my sons, and I'm their father. They're really mine."
He leaned back, still thinking. "It wouldn't be fair, though. Me adopting a boy."
"Why not?"
"I'm a cop," he said. "There's no guarantee I'm going to come home at night. It wouldn't be fair to a child."
"Barry," I said seriously, "I got broadsided and front-ended. I could have been gone in the blink of an eye. There are never any guarantees in life. I can't let that stop me."
"Would you do it again?"
"In a heartbeat."
Barry said nothing more, but I suspected I hadn't heard the last of this.
* * * * *
The twins were still watching cartoons, waiting impatiently for us old guys to get changed for the tub. Barry and Nathan were downstairs and Brad and I were in our bedroom. Brad was already naked, sitting on the side of the bed and leaning back on his hands. I was getting there.
"I think Nathan wants to help me do Mom and Dad's garden," Brad said. "He was talking to me about it when we were cleaning up the kitchen."
"It's tough having a hobby you can't enjoy," I said. "Would it be a problem if he helped you?"
"I don't think so. He knows a lot about plants and stuff. A lot more than I know."
"I know ‘green side up," I told him with a grin as I skinned my underwear down my legs and off. "After that. . ."
"I'm not sure it's a good idea, though."
"Why?"
"We'd be spending a lot of time together and. . ." He ended his thought in the middle.
"You're afraid I'll be jealous," I finished for him.
Brad looked up at me. "Would you be?"
"Should I be?" I responded with my own question.
"No," he said. "I like Nathan, but I'm not attracted to him."
"Then I wouldn't be jealous."
I reached out my hands to Brad and he took them in his own. I pulled him to his feet and hugged myself against him. "Are you worried about me and Barry?"
"No," Brad replied into my shoulder.
"Then why should I be worried about you and Nathan?"
Brad leaned his head back, but kept his body pressed close to mine. His sparkling green eyes scanned mine for a long time. "I love you, Ted."
"I love you, too, Brad."
He pulled me into a long, warm kiss.
"Daddy! Hurry up!"
We broke the kiss and spun our heads around. "Hey!" I said angrily. "You're not supposed to come in here when the door is closed!"
"The door was open, Daddy," Jeremy said quietly, his eyes suddenly filling with tears.
"It wasn't closed all the way, Ted," Brad said as Jeremy began to cry.
I broke away from Brad and knelt down to hug Jeremy to me. Justin came to my side and I hugged him as well. "I'm sorry. That was my mistake." I kissed both their cheeks. "Now, go back to your cartoons. We'll be right out, okay?"
"Can we still go in the big tub?" Jeremy asked, tears still flowing out of his eyes. I wiped them away.
"Of course you can. We'll be there in a minute."
"Are you mad at us, Daddy?" Justin asked.
"No, I'm not angry," I said, kissing them each again. "Now go so I can get dressed."
"I love you, Daddy," they said at the same time.
"I love you, too. Now, go."
They ran out of the room together. I turned to retrieve my new swimsuit from the bed. Brad already had his on and was holding mine out to me.
"Thanks," I said as I took it from him. "I thought the door was closed all the way."
"I didn't think it was necessary," Brad said as I stepped into my suit. "We were just changing."
"Still," I said.
"We were just kissing, Ted. It's not like they haven't seen us do that before."
"Not without our clothes on."
"What kind of message is that to send to them? Do you get upset when they run around without their clothes on?"
"No," I replied. "I tell them when it's improper."
"Like in the livingroom. We're in our bedroom. There's nothing improper about it."
I nodded. "I suppose you're right."
"Tell me, Ted. Did you ever bathe with Lindsay when she was younger?"
"Sure. She used to love taking showers with me. But I'm her father." And then it hit me. "Oh."
"I'm not saying we should go running around naked in front of them, but I think it's important to teach them where and when it's proper."
"When in hell did you get to be so wise?"
"At two-seventeen PM last Thursday. Now kiss me and let's get out of here before I start thinking about how hot you look in that suit!"
* * * * *
We were the ‘boys in blue' that day. Well, Nathan's suit was more teal, but it was close enough. I carried Justin, Brad carried Jeremy, the twins carried their favourite boats from their bathtub, Barry carried the two-four of beer, and Nathan carried pop and straws for the boys.
I must say, I'd been pleasantly surprised once again by the sight of Barry in his trunks and I was even more surprised when is eyes lingered on my crotch longer than they lingered on Brad's.
The twins were giggling wildly before we'd even passed through the gate to the tub deck. By the time I reached the top step, they were screaming with excitement and slapping our arms with their free hands.
"Look, Jeremy!" Justin shouted. "Bubbles!"
I dropped the towel to the deck and stepped into the tub, using my right arm for balance. Justin's excitement waned a bit then. I'd been holding him with his back to my chest, my left around his belly. He suddenly became quiet and leaned to one side, wrapping his arm around my neck.
"It's okay, Justin," I soothed. "It's just like your bathtub except that it's bubbling." I took the second step onto the bottom of the tub and moved into position at the corner bench. Sloshing water tickled at Justin's feet and he began giggling again. The water was quite warm, but not too hot for the boys. Slowly, I lowered myself to the seat.
Justin began kicking his feet and laughing hysterically again. "It tickles, Daddy!"
I was still holding Justin mostly out of the water as my butt hit the bench, and then I slowly lowered him to my lap. The water came to just below his shoulders and he began to relax.
Brad sat with Jeremy on the corner bench to my left.
Nathan joined us next whilst Barry opened the pops for the twins and four bottles of beer for us ‘big guys'.
The twins laughed and splashed and sent their boats across the stormy seas to each other as we adults tried to talk over their noise. It wasn't easy, so, for the most part, we sat back and watched the boys having fun. Jeremy discovered the joy of sinking his boat, releasing it, and watching it breach. They were really enjoying themselves, and so were we. I knew this wouldn't be the last time they joined us in the hot tub.
* * * * *
The twins' off switches went off just before seven-thirty. Justin suddenly abandoned his toy boat, turned around in my lap, and lay against me, his cheek resting against my chest.
"Well," I said, "that's my cue." I moved Justin into my right arm, stood up, and reached out for Jeremy with my left. He came to me quickly without any complaints. "Brad? Could you get their towels?"
"Here, I'll get them," Nathan said. "I'm closer" He stood and grabbed the boys' towels from the deck and, one at a time, wrapped them over their shoulders and tucked them in so they wouldn't fall off. "Need any help getting them ready for bed?"
"No," I said, smiling, "I can manage, thanks." I turned to step out of the tub.
Nathan grabbed my arm and put his hand on my back. "Be careful," he said as he supported me so I didn't slip.
"Thanks," I said as I stepped onto the deck. "Brad, you might as well crank up the heat again now. I'll be back in a few minutes."
As I walked to the house, I asked, "Did you boys have fun?" Two heads nodded against me. "You'll have more fun when we get the swimming pool set up this summer and we teach you how to swim."
I pulled open the patio door, stepped inside, and pushed the door closed behind me. I went immediately into the bathroom there and set the boys down and took off their suits before buffing them dry with their towels.
"Okay, pee time, then off to bed."
They still had their towels around their shoulders as they peed, then stepped unto the stools in front of the sink to wash their hands and brush their teeth. I picked them up then and carried them into the bedroom and set them on the bed before getting their pyjamas.
I sat on the bed, watching them dress themselves for the night, and a million thoughts flew through my head. I had told Nancy that I couldn't imagine my life without them now, but only then did I realize that my life hadn't been complete until they came into it. Lindsay filled an enormous void, and always would, and Brad had filled another huge empty space when he came along, but there had still been an emptiness there, deep inside me, and I never knew what it was until now, and it was the twins.
I could live without my house and my cars. I could survive without my job. I could carry on without Warren and Bill, and Nathan and Barry. It would be devastating, but I could even get by without Brad. But it would kill me not to have my children in my life. Everything I did, and everything I would do in the future, would be for them. They were everything to me. And all I wanted in return was to hear them say, "I love you, Daddy."
There is no greater satisfaction than that.
They finished dressing and climbed into my lap again, wrapping their arms around my neck and each kissing a cheek. "I love you, Daddy," the said in unison, and, suddenly, all debts had been paid.
"I love you, too, Babies," I said as I hugged them tightly and kissed them back. "I'll love you forever and ever and ever."
* * * * *
I stood in the doorway to the bathroom, two damp towels in my hand, looking at my sons. They were tucked into bed, their Teddies in their arm and their foreheads joined in slumber. It hadn't taken them long to fall asleep. I stood there, watching them, for several minutes longer.
"Good night, boys," I said finally and turned away. I took a quick piss, picked up their tiny swimsuits, rinsed them out in the sink, then, along with the towels, took them downstairs and hung them on the line.
I went back upstairs, made sure the front door was locked, checked on the twins one final time, and went back out to join my lover and my new friends in the hot tub.
Life was good.
To Be Continued
