WATCHING BRAD
Part 107
Being away from home seemed to make all the difference in the world. All my problems were back there, and being here with Warren and seeing him so vibrantly alive and full of life lifted such a weight from my shoulders. I had barely thought of Connie, nor of the wedding. I had spent the time with my best friend, and his lust for life and his determination and his unselfish helpfulness filled me with hope.
Warren hadn't solved my problem, but he had certainly pointed me in the right direction. Despite his eccentricities and his flighty behaviour, Warren always knew when he had to be a friend first and foremost. He hadn't spoken French the entire day. There was a time for it, and this wasn't it.
I awoke that Wednesday morning lying in the guestroom bed. Warren was there, sitting in a chair near the bed and reading a book. He looked up when I stretched and groaned, put down his book and moved to sit on the side of the bed. He rested his elbow against my hip, his arm laying against my side.
He was smiling at me when I my eyes found his. "Good morning, Teddy," he said quietly as he leaned down to give me a friendly kiss. "Did you sleep well?"
"Oh, yeah," I answered with a smile of my own. "What time is it?"
"Almost ten. You've been asleep for almost twelve hours."
"No wonder I have to piss so bad."
His arm lifted from my body and his flat hand moved toward my face so he could pat my cheek. "It's no wonder Bradley loves you so much. You're such a romantic when you wake up in the morning!"
He stood up and began gathering my clothes from where they lay, all neatly folded, on the dresser. "You get yourself to the bathroom before you pee the bed. I'll bring your clothes."
I pushed back the sheets, climbed out of bed, and headed for the toilet. I was still pissing when Warren entered and set my clothes on the vanity. "Come to the kitchen when you're done," he said as he walked back out the door.
Minutes later, I was totally relieved, washed, and dressed, and I joined Warren in the kitchen. He'd already made a cup of coffee for me in the bodum and was pouring it into a mug for me.
"No coffee maker?" I asked.
"Only when we have company," Warren replied. "It's too much temptation for me if I make a whole pot."
"But you were drinking coffee all day yesterday."
"Herbal tea, Sweetie. No caffeine. Bill bought this so he could have a mug in the morning. I didn't even know what a bodum was until he brought it home. By the way, enjoy this one. It's the only one you're getting here today. Bill said you should cut down on your coffee, too."
Bill said that? How dare he! I could feel the abrupt anger building up inside of me and it brought a tightness to my chest that I clearly recognized. "Oh, God, Warren," I said suddenly. "It's happening again."
I jumped up and ran to the bathroom where I turned on the cold-water faucet and began wiping my face with it. A moment later, Warren was beside me, his arm around my waist yet again.
"Breathe deep, Teddy," he coaxed as his hand moved to my back and began rubbing in a circular motion. "Through your nose." I did. "Again, but deeper and slower. . . Deeper. . . Keep going until you think your lungs are going to burst. . . Now, let it out slowly through your mouth. . . Do it again. . . That a boy, Teddy. Keep doing it until it passes. . . Good. . . You're doing good, Teddy."
I concentrated on my breathing and, after only a few breaths, felt the anger beginning to flow out of me. I continued until it was gone entirely. "Oh, God, Warren," I said finally, "it happens so fast. And so easily."
"But you knew it was happening, Teddy, and that's a good thing. You felt it coming and now you know how to stop it."
I splashed more cold water on my face as Warren grabbed a towel for me.
"Feeling better now?"
I turned off the faucet and took the towel he offered and began wiping my face. "Yes," I said.
"Good. Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Not really," I replied. "Peckish, maybe, but not hungry."
"Toast?"
"Sure. I'll make it."
"No, you won't," he objected. He took the towel from me and hung it over the rack. Together, we walked back to the kitchen. "You sit your ass down and let me make you some toast. I'm not an invalid, you know."
Before I could respond to that, Warren set about preparing the toast and, as he did, he began talking. He didn't talk about anything other than good things. Happy things. Fun things. He talked about us.
"Remember that night we went out and came back late?" he said as he chuckled to himself. "We tried to sneak into my house through the upstairs window over the porch so Mom and Dad wouldn't know we were still out?"
"Oh, God," I said and I began to chuckle along with him. "That has to be the
stupidest thing we ever did."
"It sure was the
funniest thing." He began to relate the story to me in hilarious detail as he prepared my toast. Warren, as I've said before, was a chubby kid. He was also the most unathletic, the most awkward kid in town. In order to get up to the roof of the porch, we had to climb up onto the windowsill and pull ourselves up onto the roof. The problem was, we were both too short. At least, Warren was. I had to link my fingers and cup my hands into a ‘stirrup' which Warren stepped into with one foot. I hoisted him up until he was able to stand on the windowsill. I hoisted myself up and stood beside him.
That left us looking up at an eave which was much further away than we originally thought. I could reach it by jumping, but Warren had no chance whatsoever. The only way he could reach it was by climbing up on me, which I somehow convinced him to do. Balanced on the sill as we were, I grabbed the window frame with one hand as Warren grabbed onto me. I squatted down a bit, bending my right leg and giving Warren a ‘step'. He began his climb, starting on my bent knee, then my hip, and eventually pulled himself up until he was standing on my shoulders. . . and then my head!
I stood up, then, and Warren was able to grab the eave of the roof. Still holding the frame, I turned the open palm of my other hand upward and raised it to my shoulder. Warren stepped onto it. On the count of three, I pushed as hard as I could as Warren pulled himself up. I got him belly-down on the slanted roof and he lay there, puffing and panting, trying to catch his breath.
"Warren!" I had whispered desperately as loud as I dared. "Get the rest of you up there!"
I moved my hand to his other foot (the foot on the high side of the roof) and pushed again. He managed to swing his other leg up onto the low side and rolled himself onto his back. A few moments later, he was on his belly again, looking down at me from the side of the roof. He was still puffing and panting, and so was I.
"Come on, Teddy," Warren had said. "It's easy."
Easy for the person who doesn't have to actually
do anything, I thought. I tried to gather my waning strength, then made a jump to grab the side of the roof where Warren waited.
"Pull, Warren!" I shouted in a loud, hoarse whisper. I suppose it was too much to hope that he would grab my hands. Instead, he reached over the side, grabbed a handful of my hair, and tugged as hard as he could. I groaned in pain as quietly as I could as I heaved myself upward. Warren grabbed the back of my T-shirt in his other hand and pulled as well, which did nothing at all in helping me get to the roof except to bind the material at my armpits.
By that time, my forearms and elbows were supporting me on the shingled roof, still feeling warm from the heat of the day. Warren released my hair and shirt as I gasped a few breaths, then I heaved up once more. Warren reached down my back, searching for something else to grab onto. I was wearing jeans, and the jeans had a good, sturdy leather belt in the loops. Either would have been excellent hand-holds for Warren, but, my friend being who he is, located the waistband of my underwear instead.
If ever there was the mother of all wedgies, that was it. Warren held on tightly and pulled, the cotton material of my BVDs stretching almost to my shoulders. My eyes crossed and watered, and the groan of pain that came out of my throat was much louder than I had expected. It felt like my entire crotch was being pressed into a sewing thimble.
I groaned and Warren laughed as he pulled my ass up onto the roof. As he rolled away and sat up, I rolled onto my back, shoved my hand into my jeans, and tried to rearrange things to a less compacted condition. I could still feel my tears as the they squeezed out of the corners of my eyes and rolled down my temples. Warren, of course, thought it was hilariously funny and sat there laughing at me.
"And I said to you, ‘Come on, Teddy. What have you got in there that can get squished!' Geez, it was funny, eh?"
"Yeah, Warren. Hilarious," I replied sarcastically. "It wasn't
your nuts getting turned into sultanas."
"And I can still see that look on your face when you found out that the upstairs windows were locked!" he continued. "Man, you had murder on your mind that night!"
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "Well, what about the look on
your face when your father showed up in his pyjamas on the other side of the window with his arms crossed? You're lucky he didn't make us climb back down!"
Warren and I laughed together, and it felt good. He'd already finished making my toast and was sitting kitty-corner from me at the table. "Those were the good ol' days, weren't they, Teddy?"
I looked into his face. He looked so young and full of life suddenly. "Yeah, they were, Warren," I said to him. "The best."
His hand came to rest on my arm. "There's going to be a lot more of them, Teddy," he said gently. "Fifty years from now, we're going to be sitting here and talking about
these good ol' days." He stared deeply into my eyes, and I could see so many things in his. "You really have no idea how much you mean to me, Teddy. Because of you, I've had a fun life and I found the man I want to spend the rest of it with."
"I didn't help you with Bill," I reminded him. "You did that all by himself."
Warren's voice became like the whisper of snowflake falling to the ground. "I was talking about you, Teddy. You were always my first choice."
"I was your only friend. What choice did you have?"
"No, Teddy, you don't understand. There could have been a million people for me to choose from and I still would have chosen you. You really have no idea who you are and what you do for people. There is more room in your heart for loving everyone than I have ever seen before. There isn't anything you won't do for someone, and you never ask for anything in return. You're an amazing man, Teddy, and a lot of people care for you very much. Especially Bradley. I've seen a lot of people in love, but I've never seen as much love as I've seen inside that boy. He was made for you, Teddy. And God knows you deserve him. Grab hold of him and don't ever let go. You're a damned fool if you don't."
Before I could react, before I could say anything, before I could give in to the tears which threatened to burst out of me, Warren leaned back in his chair and renewed his nostalgic onslaught. He had said what he needed to say, and then he'd turned all his attention to me, doing everything he could to keep my mind occupied and away from my problems. With Warren there with me, all my problems were so far away. They couldn't hurt me.
Time flew by so quickly. I finished my coffee which, by the way, was absolutely delicious, and then joined Warren in drinking herbal tea which, by the way, wasn't. Licking water off of tree bark would have tasted better, I'm sure.
At any rate, as I said, time flew by and, before I knew it, the doorbell was ringing. "There's Bradley," Warren said. "Want me to get it?"
"Okay, thanks," I said, but I rose from my chair and followed him to the door anyway.
He opened the door and Brad appeared. Brad's eyes caught mine and he stood there in the hallway staring at me for a very long moment before he came through the door, past Warren, and into my open arms. He almost crushed me with his embrace, but I welcomed it. The entire front side of his body was pressed against me and it felt so good. I hugged him back just as hard.
We didn't speak. We simply stood there, hugging each other. Warren quietly closed the door and disappeared into the livingroom, leaving us alone.
I held onto Brad for as long as I could, and then I held onto him even longer. I absorbed the heat from his body into me from the outside while his wonderful, youthful, manly scent filled me on the inside. I kissed his neck just so I could taste him. I was exquisitely happy.
So, why was I crying?
I decided that I was crying because I was so exquisitely happy. I was in trouble and my Tiger had come to my rescue. I felt safe in his arms. I felt like nothing could hurt me when I was in them. Now that I had accepted that I needed help, I once more allowed Brad to love me, and I allowed myself to love him back. I no-longer wanted to push him away from me.
"I'm here, Pops," he whispered so softly that I could barely hear him, but it was like music to my ears.
I held him tighter.
* * * * *
Warren was sitting on the chair in the livingroom, waiting patiently for us to arrive. I sat on the sofa facing him and Brad sat beside me. His arm was still around my shoulder. He hadn't stopped touching me since he came through the door. Warren was looking at me, calculating my emotions in his head.
"Are you okay, Teddy?" he asked.
I smiled and nodded. "I am now."
He smiled and sat back in the chair. "Good." To Brad, he said, "Thank you for coming, Bradley. I really didn't want Teddy driving all the way home by himself."
"I didn't, either," Brad said, giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze as he did. "So, what do I need to know about all this?"
"We're all just guessing until Teddy sees his doctor tomorrow morning, but our consensus is the same as yours, Bradley. Too much stress. I wish Bill were here to tell you himself. He's so much better at this than I am, but he left me a list of recommendations to give to you." Warren pulled a piece of paper from his shirt pocket, unfolded it ceremoniously, and read: "Make sure he gets plenty of rest." He folded the paper back up and tucked it into his pocket once more.
"That's it?" Brad asked.
Warren nodded. "It was a short list." He looked at me and winked. One corner of his lips curled up ever-so-slightly.
Dear, sweet Warren. He always knew how to make me laugh, and he did this time as well. Brad joined me in laughing, and even Warren's knowing smirk grew into an enormous grin. When things settled down once more and the laughter was finished, Warren turned all serious again. "I'm placing my best friend in the world into your hands, Bradley," he said calmly. "I expect you to take very good care of him."
"I will," Brad replied.
Warren continued. "You have a beautiful ass, Bradley. I'd hate to have to take you over my knee to spank it if you don't."
"No you wouldn't, pal," I told him. "You'd sell your soul to the Devil for the chance."
It was Warren's turn to laugh, and our turn to join
him. He looked at me and grinned his happy grin, then looked at Brad and winked. "He's right, you know. I would."
Brad grinned back and winked as well. "Just because you're so nice, I'd let you do it for free."
"OooOOOooo!" Warren hummed excitedly. "Something
else to live for!" The smile slowly disappeared from his face. "In all seriousness, Bradley, I want you to promise me that you'll make Teddy do everything his doctor tells him to do. I hated Bill for making me do everything I was supposed to do. . ." His mind seemed to wander for a moment as he remembered his own ordeal. "All that wonderful junk food he wouldn't let me eat anymore. But I'm still here and I'm still alive, and I love him so much more for it now. I want you to do that for my Teddy now. I plan on being here for a long, long time, and I expect Teddy to be here with me. We've got a lot more memories to make yet."
"You can count on that, Warren," Brad said. "I plan on making a whole lot of memories with him myself."
Warren looked at me then. "You're
so lucky you found him, Teddy. He's so much more than a pretty face."
"We're both lucky, Warren," I said to him.
He glanced at Brad momentarily, then back at me. Perhaps Brad didn't notice the look of envy in Warren's eyes, but I certainly did. "Some of us are a bit more lucky than others, my friend." He sighed, his chest swelling with the effort. Then he said more to himself than to me, "A
lot more lucky."
I knew what he was feeling. Throughout Warren's entire life, someone like Brad would have been his ‘ideal'. He dearly loved Bill, and did from the moment Bill spoke to us on that bench at college so long ago, but Brad was more Warren's ‘type'. I may have been his first choice, but Brad was his type. He was extremely happy with Bill and would never even think of leaving him for someone else, but he was sad at the same time because he'd spent all those years looking for a Brad of his own and never found him. He was sad, I suppose, that I had found
my Brad without even knowing I wanted to.
"But, enough of this nonsense," Warren spouted suddenly as he leaned forward, slapping the palms of his hands on his knees. "We have someone here who needs our help and we're not doing a very good job of helping him. What Teddy needs now is to get home to his family so they can start taking care of him." He looked at me sternly. "And you, Mr. de Villiers, you'll do whatever anyone
tells you to do. Especially Bradley. No sulking around feeling sorry for me or anyone else. No worrying about things you can't change. And you can certainly forget about me ‘cause I'm here to stay, whether you want me here or not. And I'll be standing right beside you at your wedding in July. You see if I don't."
He stood up and came forward. "Now, come on, both of you. It's time you get your pretty little butts out of here."
"I just got here," Brad objected. "I can stay and visit for awhile."
"No, you can't, Sweetie. I don't want you here. I want you back home where you belong, taking care of my best friend. Mon Dieu! Qu'est-ce que c'est?" Warren cried as he threw his arms dramatically into the air. "What does a man have to do to get people out of his house?"
Warren was back. Since I had arrived the day before, it had been nothing but serious business between us with no room for French. Now that Brad was there, he could let himself go again and relax. He had done what needed to be done and now he was telling us that it was time that we start doing what
we needed to do. He disappeared into his bedroom, returning a minute later with the items he'd confiscated while I slept the afternoon before. He handed me my wallet and cell phone, but he handed the car keys to Brad with nary a glance at me to see my reaction.
With my things tucked securely back into my pockets, Warren gave me a farewell hug. "You'll be okay, Teddy," he said quietly in my ear. "You can stop worrying about me, for one thing."
I leaned away so I could look Warren in the eye. "I
have to worry about you."
"No, you don't, mon frère. I'm going to get through this operation and I'm going to be okay. You can bet your ass that I'll be standing beside you in that church."
"Can you guarantee that?"
"You bet I can," he said firmly, but smiling, "and if I'm wrong, who are you going to sue to get your money back?" His smile disappeared a moment later as his hand came to rest tenderly against my cheek. "I honestly can guarantee that I'll do everything I can to be with you when you get married. That's the best I can do."
I put my hand over his hand and pressed it harder against my cheek. "I know you will." I drew him into another long hug and whispered quietly, "Thank you for everything, Warren. Love you."
"I love you, too, Teddy," he whispered back. "And you getting better will be more than enough thanks for me."
We separated then, but Warren kept his hands on my waist. "Admitting that I need help was half the battle. And I'll do everything I'm told so I can be here with you next week."
"I told you I don't want you to worry about me."
"I'm going to worry whether I'm at home or here in Toronto. I'd rather be here with you in case you need me."
Warren nodded at me. "I'll see you next Thursday." He glanced at Brad then. "If you don't mind, I'm going to kiss your fiancé now." Without waiting for an answer, he did.
He turned to Brad then and grabbed him in a hug as well. "Do what you have to, Bradley. He's as important to me as he is to you."
"Count on it," Brad replied as he hugged my friend tighter.
Our farewells were swift after that. Within minutes, Brad and I were heading out the door and down the hall. Warren remained at the doorway, watching us. I walked with my head turned so I could watch him as he grew further and further away from me. We reached the elevator and Brad pushed the ‘down arrow' button to call for it. The elevator soon arrived on our floor and the doors opened. We stepped inside and, as Brad pushed the button for the main floor, I blew a kiss to Warren and waved. I was still waving to him as the doors closed.
I desperately hoped that it would not be the last time I would see him alive.
To Be Continued