Watching Brad

[caddymac]

This one is a Big time cliffhanger. I am VERY worried on this one.

 

[gsdx]

In fact, the only cliffhanger I've really planned and thought out hasn't even happened yet.

Neil, Dude! YOU are such a TEASE!!!!

This one is a Big time cliffhanger. I am VERY worried on this one.

You ain't seen nuthin' yet!

 

[dave_63]

I agree with all of the above posts and I am very nervous about what comes next. I think Brad is going to be very hurt.

Great writing Neil...This story gives me a reason to look forward to Mondays.

Dave

 

[jastwa]

I"m on the edge of my sit here, when I came into reading about watching Brad, I was hook, and I have not slept well, until I can read another chapter. You are the true master of suspense and getting famous for cliffhangers as well, I take my hat off to you great master of suspense, Steve

 

[wyndhampaul]

Neil. I am a new boy on the block, and it has taken me nearly the whole of my time to read your truly wonderful story. I am stunned by the beauty of your writing, and your depth of understanding of that complex thing called human nature. Please, please be told! This work just has to be published, and I'm sure a major publisher would jump at the chance. For I find your complexities and plots at least equal to the "Da Vinchi Code".

 

[gsdx]

WATCHING BRAD
Part 113​

Brad sat there, staring at the ring I held out to him. His eyes quickly filled with tears and they began to flow down his face, leaving tiny streams of salty moisture which glistened on his skin like flakes of snow on a cold, sunny day in December.

"No, Ted," he begged in weak, desperate voice, "don't do this to me. Please."

"I have to, Brad."

"But why? You love me, don't you?"

"Yes, I do, but it's not fair to you," I explained. "You deserve better than this. It can't continue the way it's been going."

"But I love you, Ted!"

"I know, and I love you, too. And that's why I have to send you away."

The words were as hard for me to say as I had imagined they would be and my voice was as weak and desperate as Brad's.

"There's nothing else we can do. I've whittled our choices from one to none, and I accept full responsibility for everything that is happening to us."

"Ted, please. . ."

"What kind of future would we have together, Brad?" I asked him. "I don't know what's going to happen to me. I could lose everything. . . my kids, my house, my job. . . everything. I could end up in Penetanguishene. That's not a future you deserve."

"But it's the future I accepted when I gave you that ring," he objected stubbornly.

"And it's a future I'm giving back to you now." I took a deep breath before I continued. "This is your home, Brad, but it is my house, and I can't have you in it."

Brad fell silent and closed his eyes against the tears. His head dropped until his chin was resting on his upper chest. I fought my own tears as I watched his body being racked by sobs. It was tearing me apart inside, but I forged ahead and told Brad everything there was to be told.

When I finished, Brad raised his head. His watery eyes, now red from his tears, stared at me. "I don't want to go," he said softly, his voice cracking and pleading.

"You have to, Brad," I told him. "There's no other way." I held the ring out to him again. "Please," I said quietly, "take it."

I was surprised that my hand was as steady as it was. Brad's hand, though, was quivering when he finally reached out and lifted the ring from my palm. He dropped it into his shirt pocket, then slid his own ring from his finger and let it fall into my own shirt pocket. I grabbed his hand before he could pull it away and pressed his palm against the pocket. My own hand covered his, holding him firmly there for a few moments. I could feel his ring pressing into my chest, burning against my heart. I closed my eyes and memorized how I was feeling at that moment. I wanted never to forget it.

I released his hand and we embraced, hugging and crying our ‘goodbyes' to each other. The tears flowed from both our eyes and we held onto each other for a long, long time.

I couldn't bear to sit around to watch Brad pack his belongings. I couldn't handle that. I kissed him one last time and then I stood up and left the room. I stopped outside the bedroom door, taking a few deep, calming breaths and trying to find my composure. I closed my eyes and ears to the sights and sounds of Brad moving about the bedroom.

When I felt ready, I walked down the hall to the kitchen. I found Mom and Terry sitting at the table having yet another cup of tea. I sat down with them and told them what was happening. Somehow, I managed to do so without crying again. Terry offered me a cup of tea, but I declined. I didn't think I'd be able to hold the cup.

Mom took it better than I thought she would, although I could see the anguish she felt clearly marked in her face. Like any mother, she hated to see her child in distress. As I stood up to leave, Mom stood as well and hugged me close and I hugged her back. "When there is but one choice," she said in her soft, reassuring voice, "that is the choice you must make."

"I know, Mom," I replied sadly, "but that doesn't make it any easier."

"Life would not be worth living if it were easy."

We separated and Mom kissed me on the cheek before letting go of my arms.

"I'll be here all weekend," Terry promised. "Anything you need me to do. . ."

"Thanks, Terry."

I went to the twins' bedroom, closing the door behind me, and lay down on the bed beside my sleeping sons. Somewhere in their subconscious minds, they knew I was there and they roused themselves enough to move into their usual positions whenever they slept with me. Justin settled onto my right side and Jeremy onto my left, their heads nestling onto my shoulders and their free arms laying upon my chest. Their futures were in my hands now, and I vowed to myself to do everything I could to see that the dreams I had had of their futures did not come true.

I wrapped my arms around them, kissed their hair and told them I loved them very much even though I knew they were sound asleep and couldn't hear me, and then I lay there, holding them and loving them. I fought to stay awake and I did. I had too much thinking to do. Later, I could hear Mom and Brad talking in the kitchen, not far from the twins' bedroom door. Although I couldn't hear their words, I knew Brad was saying his ‘goodbyes'.

I closed my eyes tightly as I imagined Brad. It was very easy to do. All too soon, though, I heard the front door opening and closing. It wasn't as easy imagining Brad leaving my home.

I was still crying when the twins woke up.

* * * * *

Explaining to the kids why Brad had to go away was much more difficult than I could ever have expected it to be. There were tears, of course, both from myself and from my three children. Again, Lindsay seemed to understand the circumstances, but the boys had much more trouble. They were still too young to comprehend entirely.

We were all sitting on my bed. The kids sat around me as I sat propped up against the pillows.

Justin asked, "Can Brad come visit us?"

"No," I said.

"Can we go visit Brad?" Jeremy asked then.

"Yes," I told them with a sincere smile. "Of course you can. We'll phone Grandma after dinner and see if you can go over tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," they all agreed.

"Good," I said. "Now, give me some sugar and then off you go to watch television. My doctor said I have to rest, remember?"

One by one, starting with Lindsay, my three children hugged and kissed me, then climbed off the bed and ran out to the livingroom to await their dinner. I settled back into the pillows to think.

* * * * *

Dad sat with me on the side of the bed. I was still propped up against the pillows.

"I miss him, Dad."

"It was necessary."

"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier."

"Nothing that you do not wish to do is easy."

My hand move unconsciously to my shirt pocket. I could feel Brad's ring there. I didn't think Dad noticed, but I should have known better.

"You still carry it with you, do you not?"

I moved my hand away from my pocket as discretely as possible.

"What?" I replied, trying to sound casual.

"Bradley's ring, of course," Dad said. "You carry it in your pocket."

"I have to, Dad."

"No, Theodore, you do not. Holding onto him is not the way for you to let him go."

"But I still love him," I said. "It's all I have left of him."

Dad put his hand on my leg, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Of course you still love him. That is why you sent him away." His hand turned palm-up. "Give to me the ring, Theodore."

I hesitated, not willing to part with my last connection to Brad.

"You cannot do this half way, Son," Dad said. "To begin your new life, you must end your old life."

His hand remained there, solid and firm, waiting. I took a deep breath, reached into my pocket, and pulled out the ring. I held it in between the finger and thumb of my left hand as my right index finger traced it. At least Dad allowed me that much.

I took another deep breath and placed the ring into the palm of Dad's hand. His fingers closed over it and Brad went away.

I stared blankly at his closed fist for a few moments. "How am I going to get through this, Dad?"

"The way you have always done, my Sonskyn. You will persevere and you will succeed. You have always done and you shall always do so."

"I keep thinking I've made the biggest mistake of my life."

"On occasion," Dad offered, "it is necessary to drive in reverse in order to proceed."

I'd never heard it put quite that way, but I knew what he meant. Still, it didn't make things any easier for me.

"Are you okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, I am," I replied. "I think. I just hope Brad's doing as well."

"He knows that it was necessary. He will endure."

"I hope I can," I said dismally.

Dad slipped the ring into his pants' pocket and patted my thigh, then placed his hands in his lap. "Allow me to tell you a little story," he began. "There once was a boy in South Africa, perhaps a little younger than Bradley. He spoke no English - he was Afrikaaner - but he was aware that, were he to have any chance of success in this world, he would have to learn it. Fate brought into his presence a delightful young lady who had moved from England to South Africa in order to teach English to those who wished to learn. She spoke Afrikaans very well and she was the most beautiful woman this boy had ever seen. He fell instantly in love with her and she with him. She wished to marry and to emigrate to Canada and to raise her family there."

"You and Mom," I said.

"Please do not interrupt whilst the story is in progress," he admonished. I shut up and listened. "Her desire to marry was such that it preoccupied her mind to the point that she taught the boy to speak very little English. He was in love, but he was not yet ready to commit either to marriage or to emigrating to Canada. He ended the relationship. He was devastated, of course, and he spent many, many weeks second-guessing himself and wondering if he had made the correct decision - as you are doing now."

"I never knew that about you and Mom," I commented.

"You are interrupting again," he said firmly, and I shut up again, letting Dad tell his story the way he wanted to. "She pursued the boy. She followed him everywhere and she posted several letters to him each day, and all were written in the most exquisite script by the most delicate of hands, and all in Afrikaans. She sent him small gifts in an effort to win him back, and she almost succeeded."

The room fell silent. Dad said nothing more. His story had ended and I had no idea why he had told it to me. It made no sense. How was this supposed to make me feel better?

"What do you mean, ‘almost'!?" I said loudly, probably louder than I should have done. "You got married and you moved to Canada and you had your family, just like she always wanted."

"No, Son," he said with a gentle smile, "we did not. Her name was Katherine. I packed up everything she had given me, everything she had sent me, and I carried them to the postal office. There was a young lady standing there at the counter, clearly in distress. She spoke Afrikaans, but not well enough to convey to the postal agent what it was she wished to do with her parcel, and he was not patient enough to try to understand her. There were other people waiting in line. I stepped in to help her. We succeeded and her parcel was posted as she had wished and we retired to a near-by out-door café to have tea. Her name was Lilian."

"Mom!?"

"Things happen for a reason, Theodore. Some are meant to be and some are not. I was not meant to share my life with Katherine, but when I met your mother, marriage and moving to Canada and giving you life were suddenly adventures I could eagerly and willingly embrace. Life takes turns at the most unexpected times. Do not second-guess your past, my Sonskyn. Your futures lie ahead of you - not behind you. You must leave the past behind and move forward."

That last statement was in direct contradiction to something he had said minutes earlier, but I could see that he was right in both respects. I understood and it did, indeed, make me feel better.

"Don't lose the ring, Dad," I told him.

"I shall protect it with my life, my Sonskyn."

* * * * *

Dad left to eat his dinner when Mom brought mine in on a bed tray. She set it over my lap.

"I'm not hungry, Mom," I said. I was hungry, but I didn't feel like eating.

"You're going to eat this if I have to sit here and spoon-feed you," she warned me.

"How are the kids?"

"Don't try to change the subject, Francis Theodore!" Mom warned.

"I'm not," I objected. "I want to know how the kids are doing since Brad. . ."

Mom seemed to understand why I was asking. She smiled and nodded. "Lindsay is doing fine, but the boys are picking at their food rather than eating it."

"Bring them in here," I told her. "Let them eat with me and I'll eat with them."

"Are you sure that's wise, Dear? I mean, what will you do if you have another. . . ‘incident'?"

"I feeling fine and I can feel them coming on," I assured her. "If I have one, I'll just go to the bathroom until it passes."

Mom sat there looking at the floor and thinking, uncertain, I'm sure, that it was such a good idea.

"They don't understand, Mom," I told her. "They need me, and I think I need them."

Mom looked up at me finally and smiled. She nodded, turned, and left the room. I set the bed tray out of the way, slipped my legs off the bed and onto the floor, sitting on the side of the bed, waiting. A few moments later, the thumping of two pairs of feet came pounding down the hall and the twins burst into my room. They flew across the floor toward my bed and took flying leaps to land on the mattress. Their excitement and happy smiles just about did me in. They quickly settled themselves beside me, one on each side, and encircled me with their arms, hugging themselves to my sides and pressing their rosy cheeks to my ribs.

I wrapped my arms around them and held them close to me, sucking up all the love they could give me. I had sent Brad away from them. The least I could do was to show them that I wouldn't be going anywhere.

Terry came in carrying three TV tables and Mom followed, carrying two plates of food for the boys. With my help, Terry soon had the TV tables set up and in place in front of us and Mom set the twins dinner plates on their try. I retrieved my own dinner from the bed tray. Both myself and my sons were feeling much better all of a sudden and we realized how hungry we really were. We ate everything on our plates, then sat back awaiting dessert. Mom didn't disappoint us, serving up an exquisitely delicious Trifle.

Justin scooped out a spoonful and held it out for me to eat. It was good to see him smiling so broadly. It made me smile, too. I accepted his offering and, as I chewed, made as many yummy sounds as I could. "Is yours good like mine, Daddy?" he asked.

I gave him a spoonful of my Trifle and was rewarded with Justin's own yummy sounds. Of course, Jeremy had to swap bites with me as well. "Ouma's a good cooker, Daddy."

"Better than I am?" I asked.

Jeremy wasn't certain whether he should nod his head up and down or shake it back and forth. It ended up sort of going around and around. I laughed lightly, then twisted around so I could give him a kiss. I kissed Justin as well.

"Come on," I said. "Eat up so we can phone Brad before you have your bath, okay? Then you can come back in and watch television with me until you go to bed."

Their eyes lit up and their smiles brightened; they turned their attention to devouring their desserts. In record time, we finished our dinner and I had the dishes set aside and the TV tables folded up and leaning against the bed. We settled ourselves back against the pillows. I had to smile when I saw both boys stretch out their legs and cross their ankles as I was doing. Like father, like son, I suppose.

I grabbed the telephone and dialed Brad's cell phone number. It was answered after the second ring.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi, Brad."

"Ted?" he said, obviously surprised. "Is anything wrong?"

"No," I assured him. "The twins want to talk to you. Hang on."

I handed the phone to Justin.

"Hi, Brad. Can we come over tomorrow to play?"

I settled my head against the headboard and closed my eyes, and listened to the one-sided conversations. The phone was eventually handed from Justin to his brother, who then handed it to me when he was finished talking. "Brad wants to talk to you, Daddy."

I put the receiver to my ear. "Hi."

"Hi, Ted. Look. I was thinking of taking the boys blading at the park tomorrow. Would that be okay?"

"Sure," I told him. "I'll make sure their stuff is ready to go. Is there anything else you want me to send with them?"

He paused a moment, then said, "No, I don't think so. The blades should be enough. Hey, hang on a sec, will you?"

"Sure."

I heard Brad call out to his mother and then the words became soft and muffled, probably from Brad holding his hand over the mouthpiece. Less than a minute later, he returned. "Mom said they could come over in the morning and we'll make cookies. They can stay for lunch and I'll look after them until you get back from the doctor. How does that sound?"

"That's not necessary," I said. "They just want to visit with you."

"I don't mind, Ted. Mom doesn't, either. We still want to help, you know."

"I know, but I've got to learn to adapt."

"We all do."

I suddenly felt very uncomfortable, and I could tell by his silence that Brad was feeling uncomfortable as well.

"I. . . um. . ." I began. "I'll. . . have their things ready in the morning, okay?"

"I'll be over to get them about ten."

"That's fine."

"Ted? I. . ."

"Brad, please," I said, cutting him off before he could finish the sentence. "Don't say it."

"I was just going to say that I want you to take care of yourself."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks. I will."

"Don't forget your pills."

"I won't."

"Good." There was another long pause before Brad said, "Well. . . um. . . I guess we should say goodbye then, eh?"

"I guess so. I'll see you later then. Bye, Brad."

"Goodbye, Ted."

I hung up the phone and clutched the twins against me.

* * * * *

As promised, the twins watched their shows with me in my room after they had their baths. Dad came in to get them and take them to bed, but not until they had given me enough hugs and kisses to get me through the night.

At Lindsay's bedtime, I went into her room to tuck her in before I took a nice, long, hot bath. I was back in my bedroom by ten o'clock, just in time for Mom to come in to make sure I took my pills. I tried to find something to watch on television, but nothing caught my interest, and Holmes on Homes was in reruns, so I flicked off the television and turned on the small stereo and let the classical music carry my thoughts where they would go.

The bed seemed frightfully large, but that was something I would have to adapt to as well. I had slept alone in it before. I could do it again. As difficult as it had been, and as difficult as it was going to be, I had made the right decision. My thoughts went many different directions and to many different places, but, all too soon, the pills began to kick in and my thoughts soon became dreams.

Brad was in most of them.

To Be Continued​

 

[Blktiger58]

You ain't seen nuthin' yet!

My what a cliffhanger! I am sad. Sorry to have read this chapter. I kind of knew something like this was coming. The worst part is the wait between the chapters.

 

[sheep]

"Don't forget your pills"??
What pills? I Copied and pasted the last 2 chapters and did a search for *pills*, *pill*, *medicine* & *medication*. I got no hits. When did Ted start taking pills?
Something isn't adding up here. either Ted is nutz, or his doctor is a homophobe. I think he needs to take out a contract on Connie the con and get an Rx for Clonazepam.
Meanwhile I'll take a short vacation with Brad. He doesn't deserve this.

Somebody let me know when there is some good news in this story

 

[gsdx]

"Don't forget your pills"??
What pills? I Copied and pasted the last 2 chapters and did a search for *pills*, *pill*, *medicine* & *medication*. I got no hits. When did Ted start taking pills?

If you remember at the end of the Doctor's visit, Dr. Blair said, "Okay, then. Here's what you're going to do, Ted. . ."

It ended there. Medication was part of what Ted was going to do. I left it vague for a reason. I'm too damned lazy to research drugs. For one thing, I've never even heard of 'Clonazepam'

Suffice it to say that Ted, as mentioned, is taking sleeping pills at night and some blood pressure med that I didn't have to research, and probably some mild antidepressant med that I didn't have to research either. (See? I told you I was lazy!)

 

[botboy03]

Gosh Neil, this is well written, but I really hate the way things have gone. I can't wait til Wednesday now.

Zac

 

[sheep]

Ted should look for the simple things first. Mommy and daddy have worn out their welcome. What should have taken 1 week to redo the floors and paint in their new house they have managed to stretch out to several. Ted likes to control things (which perhaps he inherited from his father, the ultimate control freak, and now finds he can't cope any longer but feels too guilty to ask them to move out.
Ted knows his father doesn't really approve of his relationship with Brad so Ted is uncomfortable being intimate with Brad.
Thats my read on it.
Like I said before, someone please tell me when there is some good news otherwise I will assume this wonderful piece of work is a *Greek* tragedy. (no pun intended)
Neil, check your comments.

 

[gsdx]

Lucas - I do hope you're not serious, but you can relax. Your post has nothing to do with my writing, but it is rather prophetic that you ask for some 'good news' in the next chapter. It may not be the news you are looking for, but I will tell you that a major breakthrough will occur. Another major breakthrough will occur a chapter or two after that.

I've given you many clues in the past chapters since the 'breakdown' began. If you were able to put them all together, you should have an idea where I'm going with this and why I'm going there.

Sheep - Keep your chin up, buddy. I'll let you in on a little secret. If you guys hadn't wanted 'something special' to happen in the 100th chapter, Ted's parents would be moved into the house by now. However, since you got what you wanted (Connie's reappearance), the only way I could make it all work was by making the flooring guys and painters 'slow workers'. I had to stretch it out for at least two weeks. Sure, all the work could have been done within a week, but I needed at least two.

 

[botboy03]

I might not like the way this one chapter went, but I can't say that I would give it up, because I could not do that even if I tried. I gotta know what happens and I can't say no. Is it Wednesday yet?????

Zac

 

[upyrkilt469]

Wow, what a blockbuster event. Maybe I'm dense, but I wasn't expecting Ted to break up with Brad. Now I will have to continue reading to find out the final solution. I am enjoying the story very much. Vic

 

[consult28]

Neil, The story is going great. Can't wait for new chapters Monday,Wednesday and Friday.
As for all of you readers that are worried, take it easy. I am in the process of contacting Brad and offering him his own room and board here with me. He seems to like older men and I really can't see how he can turn me down. Neil please be good to Bill.

 

[chris0626]

Another fantastic chapter Neil.

 

[sheep]

I am in the process of contacting Brad and offering him his own room and board here with me. He seems to like older men and I really can't see how he can turn me down. Neil please be good to Bill.

Consult 28
Keepa you hands offa Brad or I breaka you face and tear outta you hair

Besides we left for Southbeach earlier today for awhile until he gets feeling better and then we take a cruise on my *grandfathers* 178 foot yacht.

 

[gmoney]

Neil, I know you have a plan, but I have to say this was the most unexpected turn of events since the story began! Somehow, I can feel Brad's pain and my gut is wrenched. Don't worry; I have no intention of leaving this story. I do hope that a turn for more pleasantries isn't far away.

Gary

 

[Fiorino]

Neil, Just when I think I know how everything is going you pull out the rug, I know it will work out, they are too good for each other and the kids for it not to work out. Can't wait for more, thanks for the great story.
Fiorino

 

[gsdx]

Neil

My phopteic request for good news in the next chapter wasn't out of disrespect to you but out anger for what is going on with Ted and Brad.

Oh, believe me, I understand what you're saying. I just wanted you to know that what you wrote in your last post had no influence whatsoever on the next chapter, or on what is coming up in later chapters.

I knew breaking them apart wasn't going to be a popular move when I wrote it, but, with the way things were going, it was the only option.