Watching Brad

[glorff]

Many of us were raised to be the man of the house in a very old fashioned sense. That means that you are in charge of taking care of your family. It is not easy to change your upbringing but it can be done.

I too was once more concerned with being a provider than a husband.

I learned a little too late

 

[Ruafei]

*shakes head* Oh, Ted....don't throw love away for pride.

 

[caddymac]

wyndhampaul is correct in that it should be equally shared. It does take two halves to equal a whole unit. Although you may argue there are other portions to this but not if you expect it to be equal.
Glorff, yes we grew up in a time of the "man" of the house was the bread winner but remember-- there are now TWO of you with the same feelings and you HAVE to give and be more flexible. You can't keep bashing heads together and still expect the relationship to be successful. I know, we have too much pride and that is what gets us in trouble.

 

[gsdx]

I almost didn't have this to post today. I got myself in a rut when I was writing it. Something was said on the very first page which took the entire chapter into a direction I hadn't expected, and I didn't like where it was going and I couldn't get it back to where I wanted it to be. That happens sometimes. Early yesterday afternoon, I almost made a post that the next chapter wouldn't be ready for today, but I went back to that single line, took it out, and wrote something else, resulting in an entirely different chapter which fell together quite naturally and easily. It was rushed, but I'm happy with it because this is the way I wanted the story to go.

Enjoy.
Neil

WATCHING BRAD
Part 190​

Brad placed several suits of underwear on the stack of jeans resting atop the chest of drawers and placed his right hand on them, pressing them firmly into place as he turned his head to look at me. He didn't say anything and his face told me nothing, but his eyes appeared full of sadness, disappointment, and pain. He sighed heavily, then returned to his task. He picked up his stack of clothes from the chest of drawers and set them into the open suitcase before gathering some more. I watched him for a minute or two in silent bewilderment as he ignored my presence completely and continued with his task.

"What are you doing?" I asked him after a time.

Without looking at me, he responded, "I'm packing, Ted." His voice sounded as filled with the same sadness and disappointment and pain that I'd seen in his eyes.

"I know what you're doing, Brad. I want to know why."

Brad stopped in his tracks, holding several folded T-shirts and short-sleeved cotton shirts in his hands. "‘Why', Ted? You really don't know why?"

"No, I don't."

Brad tossed the shirts into the case from where he stood and stepped closer to me, stopping in front of me close enough that I could smell him.

"I have to get out of here," he said quietly, "for the very reason that you had to ask that question."

The pain was still in his eyes, but he left me just as bewildered as I was a few moments earlier. "I'm sorry, Brad," I said helplessly. "I don't understand."

"No, Ted, you don't. And that's why I can't be here right now until you figure it out for yourself."

"Can't we at least sit down and talk about it?"

"I'm finished talking," Brad said. "I just keep saying the same things over and over again, but you don't or won't listen to a single word of it."

"You're not talking about my asking you not to take the job, are you?"

Brad sighed deeply and closed his eyes tight as the sadness, disappointment, and pain spread to his face. When he finally opened his eyes, he said, "See, Ted? That's your problem. You didn't ‘ask'. You forbade me from taking it. There's a big difference."


"I'm only looking out for you, Brad."

"You don't have to look out for me, Ted. I'm your husband. I'm not some little neighbourhood boy you've been asked to babysit."

"I know that, Brad."

"No, Ted, I don't think you do. It's not like you're not telling me I can't stay up late so I can watch television. You're telling me you don't want me to be a responsible parent so I can help take care of our family. If I was a woman, I bet you'd expect me to stay at home and make sure the house was clean and your clothes were washed and ironed and your dinner was on the table when you got home from work. Dad always used to say, ‘keep them barefoot and pregnant'. I never really understood how that could feel until now because that's how you make me feel. You think my place is in the home. You make me feel like a Toy Boy, Ted. Like the only thing you want me for is to share your bed."

"That's not true."

"Are you sure, Ted?" he said. "Are you really sure? That's how you make me feel."

"I'm sorry," I told him honestly and sincerely. "I didn't intend to."

"I know you didn't, Ted, but that's what you do, whether you know it or not. You make all the decisions where we're concerned."

"I don't make them all," I objected rather vehemently. "You decided you wanted to got through the Chunnel to France."

"Which we didn't do," he mumbled, but I heard him nonetheless.

"And you decided to. . . um. . ." My mind raced as I tried to think of the decisions he'd made. "Well, it was your idea to. . . um. . . well. . ."

"Don't bother, Ted. You'll give yourself a stroke. But do you see my point? Even since we were married you've been making the decisions. The only time I've really been able to make any was when David and Mark and I were cleaning out the house and you weren't there. That's why I have to go away. I have to make you realise that I'm serious about this and that I'm not going to put up with it anymore. Either we're equal in this marriage or I'm your Toy Boy, and if I'm your Toy Boy, then I don't want any part of it, ‘cause that's not why I married you."

I didn't respond, but time seemed to stand still for a momentary eternity as I digested what he'd just said. Brad's voice brought a sudden end to that eternity.

"I need you to understand this, Ted. Before we were married, I didn't have any real say in the matter as far as the kids and the house were concerned. That was your job then, and I was just a houseguest. But that should have changed when we were married and I became a husband and a father. There's two of us now, Ted, and I thought we would be sharing what it takes to keep the family going. Before I got the chance to really find out if that was true or not, though, all hell broke loose with the fire and things changed drastically. But you didn't. You haven't. You're still insisting on taking on all the responsibility for this family all by yourself and I don't know why. I keep trying to figure out why you're being so stubborn about keeping me from getting a job so I can help pay the mortgage. All I want to do is to help take care of the kids and give them the home they want. It's something we can do together, but you refuse to let it happen. There's something more than a control thing going on here, Ted, and for the life of me I can't figure out what it is." He paused and shook his head slowly back and forth. "I just can't put my finger on it."

"May I speak?" I asked when I was certain Brad had finished his little tirade. He nodded. "I'm concerned about your education, Brad. That's all. I've seen how hard you've worked at it up to now and I know how important it is to you and your parents. I. . ."

But Brad was shaking his head back and forth now. "I don't believe that, Ted," he said. "I'm sure you've convinced yourself that's the reason, but I don't believe it. And I honestly don't think you do, either. Deep down inside at least. There's something else you're keeping from me."

"It's the truth."

Again Brad shook his head. "No. There's more to it, and until you're ready to tell me what it is, there isn't anywhere for this marriage to go."

"Maybe we can come to some sort of compromise," I suggested.

Again, Brad shook his head. "I don't think you even listen to what you say, Ted. You're already telling me how you want me to live my life and now you want me to compromise on it. Any compromise on your part would be for you to let me live my life the way I feel I have to live it, and I honestly don't think you're willing to do that right now, so that means all the compromise is on my shoulders. I can't do that, and I won't. That isn't what a marriage is about. You can't keep taking and expecting everyone else to keep on giving. It just doesn't work that way."

A gentle knock came from the doorway and both Brad and I looked in that direction. Dad was standing there looking at us. His gaze moved quickly to the bed and the half-packed suitcase there, then back to us. "Your mother wishes you to know that dinner is ready to be served and that my grandchildren are exceedingly anxious and hungry," he said. "Shall we wait for you or should we continue without you and see to the children?"

Brad answered before I could. "We'll be right down, Dad," he said with a half-smile. "Just give us another minute or two, okay?"

Dad looked from me to Brad and back again, allowing his gaze to linger for a few moments each time as if assessing the situation. Then he nodded once and left us alone.

Brad stood there looking at me and I tried to read what was being displayed in his face and eyes, hoping to find something else there other than the disappointment and sadness I'd seen earlier. There was nothing new to be seen.

"How long are you going to be gone?" I asked finally.

"That depends on you, Ted. Right now, I have to concentrate on doing what I think I have to do for Justin and Jeremy and Lindsay. They're more important to me than anything else."

I don't know why I was so suddenly annoyed by that, but it came out in my voice when I said, "They're important to me, too, Brad ! I'd do anything for my children!"

"Would you die for them?"

"You're damned right I would!"

Brad just stood there looking into my eyes, and then his lips curled up into a sad, melancholy smile which seemed to match so closely the expression in his eyes, and then he said ever-so-softly, "So would I, Ted. So would I."

He turned and walked away from me and out of the bedroom, leaving me standing there alone with the half-packed suitcase and Brad's scent lingering in the air and his final words still ringing in my ears..

* * * * *

Everyone seemed tense and uncertain. Dinner began as a somber event, but soon became more relaxed and animated as they decided that everything seemed to be back to normal when Brad asked the kids about their day at soccer camp. In fact, I was convinced that the entire episode in the bedroom had been nothing more than a ruse - a ‘show' if you will - on Brad's part in order to make a statement. I was convinced that everything was fine and we would go about business as usual. I was convinced that he simply wanted to get a few things off his chest and needed to blow off a little steam. With all of that out of the way now, life would return to normal. Brad would return to Ryerson in September and we would build the house I decided we would build.

Ironically, dessert brought its own rewards, however.

As we were happily enjoying a large helping of homemade Trifle with a large dollop of freshly-whipped cream on top, Brad made his announcement, as much to everyone else's surprise as to my own.

"I got the job at the deli department," he said, "and I start training tomorrow. I've decided to move back to the city for a few days so I can get settled in the store and sort out a few things."

I sat there staring at him with the spoonful of Trifle halfway to my open mouth. He really was going to go. I had misjudged him.

"Is this something you honestly feel you must do, Bradley?" my father asked him.

Brad looked at me quickly before turning back to Dad. "Yeah, Dad," he said. "It is. I don't want to, but I'd be making a big mistake if I don't."

Dad nodded in understanding and said, "Ofttimes one must do what one wishes not to do in order to achieve what one wishes." And then he went back to eating his dessert.

"Can I go with you?" That, of course, was Jeremy.

"No, Jeremy," Brad explained. "You have to stay here, okay? I'll be at work all day and you would be all alone."

"I could watch cartoons," Jeremy suggested hopefully.

Brad chuckled and gave Jeremy a quick one-armed hug. "I'm sure you could, Little Buddy, but I think it's better if you stay here with everybody. Can you be a big boy and do that for me?"

Jeremy nodded, but it was clear that he didn't like the prospect of Brad going away.

"When will you be leaving, Dear?" Mom asked.

"Tonight. Before the twins go to bed, I think," Brad replied. "After I help give them their baths."

"Is there anything you need? Anything I can gather for you?"

"No, thanks, Mom," Brad smiled. "I'm sure I've got everything I need."

A short time later, with the twins in the bath and after Brad and I had washed their hair, Brad left the bathroom and headed down the hall toward our bedroom. "No splashing," I warned the boys, and then I followed him. He was in our room and had returned to the task of gathering clothes and packing them. He was at the closet now, lifting several pairs of slacks off the wooden hangers and laying them over his arm.

"You're really going to do this, aren't you?"

He turned his head toward me and nodded. When he spoke, his voice was soft and sorrowful, but powerful enough to bulldoze its way into my brain and settle there. "Yes, I am. I have to go. I owe it to both of us go. . . to prove to both of us that I'm man enough and responsible enough to be a good husband and father. I have to do what I think is right, Ted. I have to do what's best for everyone. . . not just me." He paused before adding, "Or you."

I don't know what he saw in my face, if he saw anything at all, but he took a quick, deep breath and his lovely green eyes softened. He took two steps toward the bed and carefully laid out his clothes upon it, then came to me, grabbed my shoulders gently in his powerful hands and leaned forward to give me a deep and love-filled kiss before drawing me into a tender and loving embrace.

"I do love you, Pops," he whispered softly into my ear. "Never forget that. No matter what happens because of this, never forget that I love you more than anyone else." He gently pushed himself away from me so he could look at me eye to eye, and he did so with an intensity which matched the pressure of his fingers squeezing into my biceps. "I have to go," he said simply and finally.

"What can I do to get you to stay?"

"Admit that I'm free to make up my own mind, that you're ready to stop treating me like a Toy Boy and start treating me as an equal."

"I can try to. . ." I began, but Brad cut me short when he suddenly released my arms and shook his head back and forth.

"No, Ted," he said. "That's not good enough. Remember what Yoda said to Luke? ‘Do or do not. There is no try.' Are you ready to do it?"

I almost caved. I almost relented and told Brad to stay. As much as he didn't want to leave, I honestly didn't want him to leave, either. But, for reasons which I hated to admit even to myself let alone to admit to my husband and lover, I had to let him go. It was easier. And so, despite wanting him to stay, I remained silent and my silence gave him my answer.

"I didn't think so," he said quietly. He took a deep breath and said, "Go watch the twins. I'll be with you in a few minutes as soon as I make a phone call and finish packing."

He returned to his task and left me standing there. Nothing more was said as I watched Brad busy himself carefully folding and arranging his slacks into the suitcase. I watched him in silence for a minute or so, then turned and quietly left the room.

* * * * *

"I don't want you to go." Jeremy's voice was so small and strained. Like his brother, Jeremy was dressed in his shorty pyjamas and slippers. He was settled comfortably in Brad's left arm. His legs straddled Brad's waist and his tiny hands clutched at the front and back of Brad's T-shirt as if his hold on it would keep Brad from going away. His cheek rested sadly on Brad's broad shoulder. His eyes were near to overflowing with tears.

Justin cuddled against me in a very similar fashion although his grip was relaxed. He knew I wasn't going anywhere. Lindsay stood beside me, her left arm loosely wrapped around my leg. Mom and Dad stood behind me off to one side.

Brad lovingly and tenderly hugged Jeremy and kissed his hair. Brad's eyes sparkled in the evening sunlight from the tears he refused to allow to flow free. "I know you don't, Jeremy," Brad said, "but I have to go. I'll see you again soon. I promise."

Jeremy lifted his head from Brad's shoulder. "Take me with you," he squeaked. He had already lost his battle against the tears and they began rolling down his cheeks.

Brad hugged Jeremy again and kissed him before wiping away the tears with gentle strokes of his thumb. "I love you, Jeremy," he whispered.

Jeremy responded by hugging him harder, his tiny fingers locking the material of Brad's T-shirt in an iron grip. Behind me, I could hear Mom sniffling. Beside me, Lindsay squeezed my leg a little bit harder.

Brad took a step forward and stood in front of me, his moist, tear-filled eyes locked on mine. He just stood there, not saying anything. He was giving me one final chance to keep him there with us and, once again, I almost caved. Instead, I asked, "Can I call you?"

"I'll call you," he replied and then he tried to pass Jeremy to me.

Jeremy refused, naturally, clinging even more desperately to Brad's shirt and crying, "No! No! No!"

"Come on, my Sonskyn," I said soothingly as I wrapped my free arm around him, gently trying to coax him away from Brad, but still Jeremy refused and fighting me at every turn. He stopped only when Justin reached out and put his hand on his twin brother's arm. Jeremy fell suddenly silent and looked around at his brother, his pouting lip quivering. Whatever unspoken words passed between them I'll never know, but Jeremy finally relinquished his grasp on Brad's shirt and surrendered himself to my me.

Brad's departure came swiftly after that. His eyes moved from the boys to my daughter, then behind me to my parents, and, finally, to me. His eyes pleaded with me to tell him he could stay, but I couldn't. When he ultimately accepted my silence as my final decision, he spoke a single word very softly, almost painfully: "Goodbye."

He turned and grabbed up his suitcase from the ground and strode quickly to his truck, pulling open the door and tossing his suitcase onto the seat with such force that I could hear it bouncing against the passenger door opposite him. He quickly retrieved his keys from his pocket, climbed in behind the steering wheel, and pulled the door closed. A moment later, the truck engine roared to life.

And then he drove away.

To Be Continued​

 

[operafan]

Oh, wow! Very powerful.

 

[caddymac]

Oh dear. I have not read this chapter yet but I don't like the feeling I am getting in my heart about the last line. I am already very sad )-;

 

[thermodynamics]

What a tearjerker!

I hope Ted learns what he has to. And quick!

 

[ukbrit]

I hope nothing happens to Brad, driving late at night and as sad as he is but I can understand how he feels at the moment.
Neil, Can you PLEASE rush the next chapter even if its a couple of short one's you cant leave us like this !!!!
P L E A S E.............................

 

[caddymac]

Okay, now I know I am torn up after reading the chapter. I sure can feel for Brad. At this point I don't think Ted will figure this out on his own. Something or someone (could be more than one) will have to knock him off his feet to wake him up.

 

[erasfred]

fUCKING WAKE UP TED AND SMELL THE COFFEE.

Avery power full chapter Niel once again you've outdone yourself.

Fred

 

[harry113]

Thanks Neil, wonderfully written & sad chapter!
Poor poor Brad!! Having to leave behind everyone he loves! but it seems the only way he can make Ted admit to himself that he has to share, otherwise, sadly, there can be no marriage!
Like other replies, I hope Brad comes through this without injury (Are you listening Mr.Author?? Lol)
Thanks again Neil
Hugs
Harry

 

[upyrkilt469]

Harry is right, maybe now Ted will get the picture that Brad is an equal member of this union. I sure hope he smartens up soon. Vic

 

[Trent0n1]

Oh wow!

 

[gsdx]

WATCHING BRAD
Part 191​

I expect Ted's going to ask me to write something about this for his story, so I figured I'd get a head start on it and write it up while it's still fresh in my mind. Besides, the others have already gone to sleep and I can hear them snoring in the bedroom and I'm still wide awake and thinking. We had a nice chat earlier and they were kind enough to sit and listen to me yammer on and on about everything but in the end I sent them off to bed when they couldn't stop their yawning anymore. They went to bed and I made up my own bed on the sofa. It's sorta a bit too short for me and I have to bend my knees to fit on it but it's really comfortable and I shouldn't have trouble sleeping on it if I can get to sleep in the first place. I don't have a real pillow though. Just one of those throw pillow things Mom always puts on chairs for you to lean back against.

Anyways, let me start by saying that leaving Ted and the kids was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. Especially Jeremy. He's like the closest thing I'll probably ever have to a real son and it hurt like hell leaving him behind when he was begging me to bring him with me. It took everything I had not to break down and cry right there when I was trying to say goodbye to him, but I tell you, I cried after that. I held it back all the way down the driveway and onto the road but as soon as I was around the corner and I knew they couldn't see my truck anymore I pulled off the road and bawled my eyes out for like fifteen or twenty minutes before I stopped and could drive again. I still get leaky eyes when I remember the look on Jeremy's face when I passed him over to his Dad. The way his bottom lip pouted out like that and he looked so sad. I hated myself for doing that too him. I can still smell him on my shirt and that makes me feel a bit better. I miss him so much already and everybody else too and it's only been a few hours. I hope it's easier tomorrow.

I had to do it though. I know I had to prove to Ted that I mean business but what's more is I had to prove to myself that I could really do it and stand up for myself. I don't know what's going on in that head of his and he isn't talking. All I know is it has a lot to do with me and my new job. He doesn't like it. But if I don't do something about it now so we can get this thing solved we're going to be in deep shit for the rest of our lives and none of us are ever going to be happy again.

You know, people have asked me why I love Ted so much and why I married him. Mom and Dad had a long talk with me about it before the wedding and they wanted to make sure that I knew what I was getting into. I talked to Nathan about it too. I know Ted can be a bit stubborn at times and he has a bit of a control issue but there was something about him the day I met him and we talked together during that storm that made me like him a lot. After that it didn't take me long to start falling in love with him. He really is a nice guy no matter how many faults he has. I'm sure I've got a lot of faults too. But set Ted's faults aside and he's a very loving man and he makes me happy and he makes me feel good. That's what's most important, isn't it? But who knows why you fall in love with someone? It just happens when the right person comes along. I don't think you really have any control over it.

I'm going to stop now. I'm getting really tired and I think I can sleep now and I want to make sure I get to my new job on time tomorrow morning.

It's Saturday afternoon now and I just finished my first training session. I started at ten o'clock and went to three o'clock. Same thing tomorrow. I think I did pretty good. At least Sharon said I did. She's a good teacher and I like her. She's been at the store for years. She'll be there with me again tomorrow to finish my training but this time I'll be doing most of the work because it's never very busy on Sunday and she'll be watching over my shoulder to see how well I do. Well, not really over my shoulder. She's a lot shorter than me, so she'll sorta be looking around me and under my armpits. I'll have to be sure to use extra strength deodorant tomorrow. Ha ha. Anyways I like it so far and I'm having fun working there so that helps.

So anyways back to the story. I was taking about why I love Ted.

Yeah I know. I can hear you saying "but he's so skinny and old and he's not really handsome and he doesn't have a big dick and you can do a lot better than him." Well, maybe he's skinny and maybe he's older and maybe he's not handsome like Tom Selleck and maybe he doesn't have a big dick, but I don't see him that way. That's not what love is all about anyways. I look past all that and I see Ted as a beautiful man who is way more sexier than Tom Selleck could ever be and I can't even imagine anyone else being as good a lover as Ted. That's life. I can't explain it. Why do I love Ted? I don't know why. I just do. That's all.

It's like I can't figure out why Ted loves me. I mean if I was him and he was me and I saw me naked and ready to have sex with me I'd probably scare myself right out of my skin. I mean I look at myself in the mirror after my shower and I wonder why I don't sending him running away in terror. I know what it's like to have sex with myself. I've been doing it for years and that even scares me sometimes when I get carried away. I know how much it makes my jaws hurt so it has to hurt Ted when we have sex but he never complains. He just does it. But that isn't why I love him, though. Remember, I loved him a long time before we had sex together for the first time. Even then it was a long time before Ted was able to do a lot of things to me that I could do to him and I wasn't sure he'd ever be able to. But even if he never could do that it wouldn't really matter to me. Like I said I can take care of myself. But Ted loves me enough to at least try and it was even better that he did it. That counts for something.

But the sex hasn't really been that important to me. Not really. Up until I met Ted I was quite happy taking care of myself. Even now, I still do it more to make Ted happy than to make myself feel good. He still likes watching me. It makes him happy when I do it so I do it for him whenever he wants me to. But like I said I can do that to myself anytime I want and I don't really need Ted. It's just more fun with him there.

This reminds me of something else. Nathan. You've probably guessed that I like Nathan a lot. I even love him but only as a friend. He reminds me a lot of Ted as far as looks go except for that white streak in his hair. I've seen Nathan naked but I don't really think he's sexy. I mean he doesn't even give me a hardon. (If you're reading this Nathan please don't be upset. I love you to death but there's only one man for me.) I mean Nathan's handsome and all but he doesn't make me want to run out and have sex with him. I don't know how he feels though. We've never even talked about it and we've never come close to having the chance to find out. It's not like Ted and Barry. I know Ted gets a hardon when he sees Barry naked and it doesn't really bother me. I give Nathan a hardon too so it sorta evens itself out.

Anyways it's after supper now and I'm stuffed. Two big fat pork chops that melt in your mouth with apple sauce on the side and baby carrots glazed in honey and baked potatoes scooped out of the skins and mixed with cheese and some green things and all stuffed back in the skins and tossed salad. (I'm glad this writing program underlines all the words I spell wrong. I thought pork chops was one word. Ha ha!) We had hot homemade apple crisp right out of the oven for dessert with French Vanilla ice cream on top. I had two helpings of that but I had to undo the top button of my shorts to eat the second one. It was really good specially when the ice cream melted all over it.

So anyways I guess you're wondering what I hope to get out of all this. Well I've had lots of time to think about it. Only a year ago I knew what I wanted to do and I was doing it. I wanted to become an engineer and work someplace where I didn't have to go up very high. I had lots of plans for my life and they included settling down and having a family. And then I met Ted and my life changed but my plans didn't. Even when we fell in love and I moved in with him my plans didn't really change. I would still be an engineer and I still had a family. Then the twins came along and then Ted and I got engaged and still my plans didn't change. Even when we got married, everything was pretty much the same. It all changed with the fire.

My plans to become an engineer didn't matter to me anymore. It was more important to me to help take care of the children now. I mean as an adult I can fend for myself. And if I screw up the only one who will suffer will be me. If I'm hungry or cold and I can't change it I can deal with it. But not with the kids. They depend on me and Ted for everything. If either one of us screws up it's the kids who are going to suffer. Not just us. I really don't think Ted thinks I'm old enough to be a responsible parent. I don't think he thinks I can do it. I think he's just using that education thing as an excuse to hide what he really thinks and he's stubborn enough not to notice that he's doing it. Oh I know he's stubborn and I don't really like it but sometimes you have to take what you don't like if you want to keep what you want. I can't make Ted not be stubborn but I can be as stubborn as he is and sorta balance things out. And I have to be REALLY stubborn in this.

Anyways like I said my plans have changed now. Getting my degree and being an engineer isn't as important as it was before. There's other things I have to do first and the most important thing is to prove to Ted that I can help take care of the children just as much as him. And the only way to do that is just do it. So that's what I'm doing.

It's going to be a busy time trying to go to work and do all the other stuff I want to do now that getting my degree is on hold but it's the only way. I know I can do it. I just have to prove it to Ted. I've already made some phone calls and done a lot of research on the Internet and I've discovered that a lot of the things I want to do I can do right here on my laptop. It's just a matter of getting it all organized and going. At least I've got lots of support. Oh, and I'll be trying to work things out with Ted at the same time. That better happen soon though. I miss everyone to death already and want to get back there as soon as I can.

Anyways Mom de Villiers is keeping me filled in on what's going on back home. Ted doesn't know she's calling me though. I asked her not to tell him or the kids or call me when they're around. She tells me everything and I know Jeremy's having a bit of a tough time of it but it doesn't seem to be anything that he can't handle. He's just quiet a lot she says and he misses me lots. That's all.

So I have to do this. End of story. Not only for me but for Ted and Jeremy and Justin and Lindsay. For everybody. And I can't fail them. There's just too much at stake.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

It was a rather difficult weekend from the moment Brad climbed into his truck and drove away. I was sad to see him go, of course, but he'd made his decision and I just had to wait for him to realise how silly he was being and to come back home.

Jeremy took it hardest, remaining quiet and sullen the rest of the evening until I put him and his brother to bed. I sat with them until Jeremy finally fell asleep but I'd barely got into my own bed later that night when Jeremy came into my room and just stood there looking at me in total silence until I invited him to climb in with me. As he was settling in beside me beneath the sheet, Justin came into the room as well and immediately climbed into bed with us, settling in on my right side. I didn't mind. The bed was feeling a bit empty. I slept much better with my sons in my arms.

I did my best to keep the kids preoccupied on Saturday and, as promised, I didn't phone Brad despite the fact that not knowing what he was up to was driving me crazy. Still, I even resisted all temptation to drive into the city and to go shopping for some sliced Black Forest ham or smoked turkey breast from the deli counter. I did, however, call Terry and explained the situation. She was suitably upset and offered her profuse sympathies and then asked if there was anything she could do. As a matter of fact, there was. I asked if she would go to the store to see how Brad was doing.

"You want me to spy on him for you?" She sounded quite surprised.

"No, Terry," I said with a light chuckle. "Not at all. I just want you to take a peek and see that he's okay. Maybe pretend you need to buy some salami or something."

"That's spying, Mr. Dee," she replied somewhat sternly, "and I won't do that. Not for you - not for anyone. I'll take him a message for you if it's important, or I'll come to the house and help you look after the children if you need me, but I won't play James Bond for you."

And that, as they say, was that.

Mom helped a lot, getting the kids to help her bake some cookies and another batch of Rice Krispie Squares, which meant a quick trip to Archie's store for some baking supplies and a box of Rice Krispies. Jeremy didn't seem interested in doing much of anything else, though. He spent most of his time looking out the front window or sitting outside under the tree near the pond in the front yard and staring down the driveway toward the road in hopes that he would see his Daddy Brad coming home again. Justin and I sat with him, of course. Jeremy was never left alone.

Sunday was much the same. Jeremy didn't want to go anywhere lest Brad come home. We managed to get through the day, but I was becoming very concerned that he wouldn't go to soccer camp on Monday. Fortunately, Brad saved me the worry by telephoning during dinner on Sunday night whilst we were enjoying dessert. I went into the livingroom to receive the call.

"Hello," I said when we were connected.

"Hi, Ted," Brad said quietly. "It's me." Before I could say anything in response, he added, "How's Jeremy?"

"Very lonely," I told him. "He misses you a lot."

"I figured he would. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"I was going to ask if you would. Hang on. I'll get him"

I called the boys to me and Jeremy smiled for the first time in two days. He was positively beaming with excitement. I got them settled on my lap, one on each leg, and held the phone between them so all three of us could hear and talk. Lindsay joined us and stood behind me, listening over my shoulder.

"Go ahead, Jeremy," I whispered.

Jeremy looked toward the phone and said excitedly, "Hi, Daddy Brad."

I remained silent and let the children have their turns talking to him. Jeremy did most of the talking, though. More to the point, I suppose he did most of the listening. His words were relatively few. Brad's were quite plentiful.

"Are you coming home?" my son asked hopefully as their chat drew to a conclusion.

"Not yet, Jeremy. I have to work, remember? I hope I can come home very soon, though."

Jeremy's smile began to disappear again. "I miss you," he said softly.

Brad's voice was calm and soothing. "I miss you, too, Jeremy."

They talked for several minutes more before Brad ended the conversation by promising to call again Monday night so Jeremy could tell him all about his soccer camp. Jeremy was still a bit sad, but in much better spirits than he had been only minutes earlier. I sent the kids back to the kitchen so they could finish their dessert whilst I talked to Brad.

"Look, Brad," I began when I could hear them in the kitchen telling Mom and Dad all about their phone call with Brad, "I really think. . ."

Brad's abrupt interruption cut me short: "If you're not going to tell me I can keep my job and do what I have to so I can help build the big house, then I don't want to hear it."

"I wasn't going to say that," I replied.

"Then don't say anything about it right now. I'm very serious about this, Ted. Either I come back as an equal in this marriage and we make decisions together or I don't come back at all."

"I'm just trying to do what's best for you, Brad."

"No, Ted, you're not. You're doing what's best for you. But I already told you I don't want to do this over the phone. I'm going to be busy tomorrow night after I call Jeremy, but if you're willing to meet me Tuesday night after you put the kids to bed, we can do that."

"Where and when?"

We made a date for nine-thirty. Brad picked the restaurant. "I know you won't make a scene there," he said. I promised him I'd be there.

Jeremy made it through Monday in relatively good spirits which lifted even more when Brad phoned again on Monday night, but was saddened once again when he learned that his Daddy Brad still wasn't coming home. I was hoping his sadness would make Brad feel more guilty. Tuesday morning, as Jeremy and Justin came running into my room to greet me, Jeremy looked at Brad's side of the bed as Justin climbed into my arms for his morning snuggles. I tried to get him to join us but he stood there staring at the bed for a few long moments before turning away and slowly leaving the room. Later that day, when I returned home from work, he was sitting at the window and still staring down the driveway and waiting patiently. I found out from Mom that Terry and Justin had sat there with him most of the afternoon.

It tore me apart to see Jeremy so sad, but I couldn't see any way out. I could only hope that Brad would come to his senses when I talked to him that night and he would follow me back home and everything would return to normal.

I was intentionally late getting to the restaurant. I left home in plenty of time but I parked my car and decided to sit there for awhile before sprinting the short distance to the restaurant and finally sitting down at the table opposite Brad, still panting, at nine forty-seven.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologised through heavy breaths. "I ran from the parking lot. I had a helluva time getting Jeremy to sleep tonight. He really misses you, you know."

"I know. I miss him, too," Brad replied sadly. I could see that my excuse bit into him.

"He's starting to act up, too," I added for good measure. "Playing with his food. Little tantrums. Talking back. I've had to scold him a few times. Nothing major yet, but still. . . ." I left the sentence dangling when the waiter stopped at our table to take our orders. It would give Brad some time to toss my words about in his head and think about them. When the waiter left, I said, "You can put a stop to it you know, Brad."

"Put a stop to what?"

"Jeremy's misbehaviour," I said, catching Brad's gaze and holding it.

"You can stop it, too, Ted," he replied. "Besides, he doesn't sound like he's misbehaving when I talk to him on the phone."

"Well, he doesn't when he talks to you, Brad. It's only when you tell him you're not coming back home that he starts acting up again, and it's getting worse every day. He wants you to come home, and so do Justin and Lindsay and the rest of us."

Brad stared at me then and I tried to read in his face the thoughts that he was thinking but I wasn't certain what I was seeing there. I had hoped that he would just change his mind, admit what he was doing was the wrong thing to do and come running back to us with open arms.

Instead, his face suddenly turned hard and rather threatening and he said in a very stern voice of warning, "Don't you ever put Jeremy or anyone else between us and use them as a pawn just get me to do what you want, Ted." Brad rose from his chair, reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet from which he withdrew a twenty-dollar bill as he added, "I'm warning you. Never do that again!" He tossed the money onto the table in front of me and said, "Goodbye."

He left me sitting there alone and somewhat dumbfounded as he turned around and walked out of the restaurant.

To Be Continued​

 

[operafan]

Yikes! Ted really is an idiot.

 

[ukbrit]

Ted that was low!!!! emotional blackmail and using the kids, how bitter and twisted you have become, maybe we are seeing a side that your ex wife had to put up with, only a fool does not learn from past mistakes. God Ted you are a shit.


Neil, good chapter, sorry but it got me riled up, roll on next Monday, it can not come fast enough.....

 

[harry113]

Oh Dear!! When will Ted ever learn that Brad isn't a kid!!
Thanks Neil, a great chapter ... Bringing out the thoughts of the two men is a wonderful idea, and it just underlines how mature is Brad's outlook on life, whereas Ted is stomping his feet like a kid who can't get his own way!!
It is so sad for the children, who don't understand what is going on.
Keep your resolve Brad, you just have to win this one & make your decisions as a true partner!!
More please
Harry

 

[sheep]

Brad has more than a big package. He has a big pair of balls too and he finally decided to use them.
Neil, I love how Brad uses words like "anyways" and "gotta". It's so Brad. Still haven't figured out where he is staying.

 

[mpdan]

"maybe we are seeing a side that your ex wife had to put up with, only a fool does not learn from past mistakes."

How True! And as a dad of two teenagers I so often see myself and past experiences in these passages. Yet it still boggles my mind that today my ex-wife and my partner are close friends....

But it has worked both ways - for it was Neils incredibly accurate description of Teds anxiety attack in an earlier chapter which sent me running to a professional for help.

I'm rootin' for these guys, and I hope the following two words are soon introduced into Ted's vocabulary:

psychologist
psychopharmacologist

 

[upyrkilt469]

I glad that Brad showed Ted that he wasn't a child and knew what he wanted and was going to get it or that would be the end of things.
Vic