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Weird New Situation...

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Hey everyone...not sure if this is the right forum, but im new here, and I have some questions.

Now I've always been straight but ive recently met this guy who has some really weird fetishes...he was talking to me about it, and it really turned me on. Basically hes a "dominant" type of guy and needless to say i experienced my first "gay" encounter. I'm not worried about labels or none of that, i dont really care, and actually i have some gay friends (how i met this guy) so Im not really worried or ashamed or embarrased about the situation, i guess you can say ive been curious after hearing them tell me thier stories so I finally tried it.

The thing that im asking though is what happened ok? Id like to know your opinions, Like i said this is all new for me, and you guys will probably have a better understanding of the situation and maybe give me some advice. So here i go:

Ok so we go to his house, blah blah blah, he started by sucking me off a little bit to get me hard, but after that, he took control of the situation. now the thing im asking about is the words that we was using and i guess some of his actions too...it kinda bothers me, but then kinda not....and im asking becasue like i said im not used to this...is this normal?

Basically after he got me hard he pushed me to my knees kinda roughly...i kinda just shrugged it off at the time but looking back is what gets me...he smacked my face with his dick calling me "his little faggot" (no disrespect, im just trying to explain my situation)....i wont get into to much details but once we got the actual sex part it got a little worse, he lubed my anus up well and slowly entered (he knew it was my first time) but once he entered me its like his caring just stopped, he "made me" (i'll use that word loosely here) jerk my self off as he fucked me to "prove i was his faggot bitch" to quote him, he choked me...not like hard where i couldnt breath but he put his hands on my neck, and he flipped me over and started spanking me as he fucked me, i didint really like that and i told him to stop, he didnt stop spanking me though...he didnt do it as often, but he didnt stop either. the last thing that really bothred me though was that he had me ride him to once again "prove i was his faggot"...he still spanked me during this time...we finished up like that....

So, sorry for the long first post, but as you can see im really confused...i enjoyed it at the time but now looking back at it im kinda wondering if he was just doingthing because ive been straight this whole time, or if its just something hes into, or if its something thats even "ok" you know what i mean?

Well, any input would be greatly appreciated...thanks in advance
 
I think that it may be a fetish thing. It's all right as long as you were okay with it. It's not all right if you were uncomfortable and asked him to stop and he didn't.
 
It's okay, but ONLY if you consented to it first.

You didn't, so it's not okay. Your first time shouldn't have been like that I think. You should have found someone who actually was caring the entire time.
 
hey guys thanks for the replies, i dont want you guys to get the wrong ideas...he didnt rape me or anything..he told me before hand what he was into and what hed like to do to me, and i agreed, the only thing was the slapping me in the face with his penis, the spanking, and the words. at the time...it didnt bother me at all, but looking back i feel a little weird about it...the whole thing turned me on (ive always been submissive, im 5'4" and hes a good 6 feet) while it was happening...so thats why im a little confused..
 
Yeah, it was definitely his fetish taking control of the situation. He should have taken things slow with you and asked you if you were okay with things that he was doing.

This isn't to blame you, but if you're uncomfortable with something, you should definitely speak up and let him know, otherwise, he might think that you're okay with it and playing along.

So if there's a next time, talk to him first about what you liked and what you didn't like. If he can abide by that, then you guys will probably have a much more enjoyable session. If not, then find someone else who's more up your alley and he'll find someone, too.

I still think he should have checked with you first, and he might have gotten carried away, but he might not have and he may just have wanted to fuck you without any consideration on your part.
 
well thats another concern of mine that i didnt bring up, but im kinda wondering now if he just watned to fuck me because i was the "virgin" you know what i mean...
 
as mentioned, that he did not stop the spanking after you requested he do so, is not a good sign. You did nothing wrong and I imagine you would have been as turned-on if not more, if it had been a dominating female rather than your guy.

what you want is paramount, that you deal with people who will respect you and only engage in safe sex is also paramount. for me, I would want you to get into a relationship that promoted your self-esteem.
 
He sounds like a nut bar and shame on him for tripping on a power thing with you when it was your first time. Believe me, he is not your friend.

Hopefully if you want to play around again in the future you'll meet someone who is kinder and more respectful of their partners. I bet there are so many guys who are reading this thread thinking of how good they would have made it for you on your first time out and you had to settle for someone who only understands sex through bad porn.
 
The good news is that you've learned something new about your sexuality -- in the right place with the right guy you like to be dominated, if it's done in the right way.

The bad news is that you felt weird about it afterwards -- so maybe this wasn't the right guy. But it doesn't sound like you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or anything, so I would say just move on and chalk it up to a lesson learned.
 
I don't think this guy's a "nut bar" - I know other people who enjoy this sort of thing. He even said up front that that's what he wanted to do. That said, this is where the trust and the entire concept of "safety word" comes into play. He may have thought you were just "playing" when you said you didn't like something, but since you hadn't worked it out beforehand, he should've taken you at your word and stopped. The fact that he didn't isn't a good sign.

Lex
 
The whole thing sounds pretty hot to me. You had an idea what you were getting into and it was consensual. Me thinks you learned something about yourself. Will you be seeing him again?
 
I'd say you have an excellent attitude towards this experience: You are not regretting it. He had basically told you about 'his approach', you agreed to it, and that was basically what you really got. So, you are really fine.

Yup, more likely than not, he was getting an extra kick out of popping your male cherry & calling you all those names. That's the way these things usually go with some of the 'dom' guys.

If it were me, I'd take a rain check on this dude. If he continued slapping you, even once you told him that you were not enjoying it, you want to see that as an evident lack of self-control on his part.

Equally so, if Sub/Dom fantasies work for you, you'll find it pretty difficult to control your dominant tops in every detail. At times, they will be doing precisely what you are telling them not to do, just to demonstrate that they dominate the play and that you have got to take it as they please. To some extent, this comes with the territory and you may have to live with it.

SC
 
everything that happens MUST be something you both want to do. if not, and there's any kind of problem on his part - you should head for the door
ding
 
hey guys again, thanks for the replies, i am going to be seeing him again...he called me and asked me how i was doing and really didnt come off like he thought he did anything wrong...i talked to him about it and he apologized, so i think im going to chalk it up to just me being nervous about my first time.

and i think you guys are right...i think i did learn something about my fetishes or whatever...i do like to be "controlled" it really turns me on. Me and him were talking about it and he says he is GOING to teach me some more things. that gave me an instant hardon, the way he said he was going to, he didnt ask, he just said he was going to....i like that in him..

Like i said though, i think its just me not being used to the situation that got me a little worried, but i gotta get ready, Tyrese is on his way to get me. :)


edit: haha not tyrese the model/singer..allthough he does look a little like him lol
 
I don't have much experience on this (not into fetishes) but I can say that if you really don't like something you say no and repeat it till it stops or you stop it. Now if you really did or didn't like it is something you will have to come to grips with. I'm not sure we can get that far into your head.
 
While still a virgin, I had always thought that your first experience - homosexual and/or heterosexual - should be with somebody you actually have feelings for. I guess I always thought it should be that tender, "I don't really know what im doing." "niether do I." "does this hurt?" "are you okay?" sort of thing. Okay that probably sounded totally mushy, but that's probably me being innocent.

I think the guy has what my father calls the 'dirty words fetish', you know, using dirty language with sexual acts. Or, maybe it was the fact that he was fucking a straight guy that got him on too much of a high. Or, even, it could be he doesnt really like straight people and he was 'abusing' you without trying to be too conspicuious. I don't know but I still believe the rule that sex should be between two CONSENTING adults.
 
It sounds to me like you enjoy being dominated. There is nothing wrong with that, as long as you feel safe in the situation. So I say "Go For It, And Enjoy"! I personally really love it when a big dick smacks me in the face, and when my bf spanks my horny ass! He enjoys when I do the same to him. Have fun and be safe!!..|
 
By the way, my tongue was firmly in my cheek on my first post. If you like being submissive, go for it; as others have said though, find a safe word when you want it to stop. If your partner ignores the safe word, run like hell before you end up buried in their basement.
 
this has me sooo confused... read original post and thought 'wtf' that's messed up, but popped one big time too. Oh well... guys want me to subjugate/humiliate them all the time(like every damned time i log onto gay.com), and always refuse saying i dig shared control(taking turns) which i do. Not sure about messing with a dude's head without knowing him well though...

anyway, enjoy man... just don't let the guy extend control beyond playing together--that truly is messed up!
 
for the one who was talking about the first time, my first time was a long time ago, and it was all "this goes where?" but now that im older im not to concerend about the mushy part of sex :)

Ive seen him twice since that night, and im pretty sure im over the 2nd thoughts that i previously had, i think it was just becuase i wasnt used to actually being the one fucked. I think we got something going on here though, each time we see each other we both get more comfortable with each other and are gradually falling into our roles (for lack of a better word)
 
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