Weirdest Wank

[natedogg323]

I once tryed to fuck a warm banana peel when I was younger lol, I got the idea from some site online .... it did not work out very well and was messy.

Ditto~~

 

[dolphwasser]

When I was REAL young and alone in the house, I'd get out the canister vacuum for a great suck job. Ah, but then I outgrew it, thankfully, before I got a permanent hickey.

 

[mikewriter]

you gotta put pillows between them too! Or you can get a "rug burn" lol. Hmmm...I say...screwing in between the pillows on the couch for me

I do the pillow thing too.
However, I am a bottom, so I get two or three pillows together, lay on my back, put the pillows on top of my dick and I pretend that the pillows are the guy fucking me! Strange, I know but it gets me off!

 

[blade51]

i used regular soap once not good took the skin off my cock

 

[blade51]

lol know the feelin

 

[blake16]

I fucked a bag of mini-marshmallows once. Don't ask for hot chocolate at my house.

Haha! Dually noted...

 

[blake16]

Did that in a hotel jacuzzi when I was younger. I blew my load and there were bits of cum floating everywhere. Whoops!

The body pillow thing is indeed the weirdest in this thread...but this is a close second! Eep.

 

[Energy]

When I was about 12 or 13 years old, I wanked off on a playground. There was nobody. I was lying on a chute and that was the first time I wanked on myself (or on my clothes). I wonder if someone saw me, because around that playground are a lot of high houses...

 

[seven_sins]

I learned to get off by humping my mother's vibrating pillow. It was not one of those pee wee battery powered things. It plugged into the ac wall outlet. It was powerful. I wish I still had that thing.

 

[jojo_12345]

On holiday, in greece, some guy was jerking me off in the hotel lift at around 3am, just as i started cumming, the lift opened to some hotel staff who were staring at us in disbelief. And there is me shooting away, it was the weirdest orgasm ever, i got totally shit scared and embarassed. i just didnt know whether to finish my orgasm first or run str8 away. The guy just ran and i followed him trying to hold my manhood. I cant believe my luck. We met up outside the hotel and we had to start over. The whole experience got me instantly horny and ready for anutha orgasm in minutes....

 

[huggybear]

Hey the mango thing is good................. works for me too
but also - powered shower sprays, feels like you can't control yourself;
watch out for vaccum cleaners - a good proportion of penis injuries are caused by those - makes the accident & emergency staff really laugh.
I often find myself going round the house, places I'm staying, just looking for a fuck-shaped hole in things - vases, yeah the old mattress, drawers that are the right height to pump in as you thrust (without chopping off the top of your dick) - shower caps and body cream; my cock is relatively narrow so I have sometimes used those desk-tidies with several tubes for pens, pencils etc - the biggest one is just the right size with some cream - the weirdest one is probably when I was much younger and staying in a house with a lily-pond, picked one of the flowers and discovered the juice was very jelly-like and slippery - so I found a waterlily green pod and fucked it. course, the actual wanking may not be weird, but the place or time might be (another thread I think)
Merry

 

[bluewhite]

I just watched a video of a guy fucking a watermelon. He was moaning as he fucked it.

 

[movieye]

Weirdest wank I've ever seen was when I was at camp one year. I was 14 years old.

4 guys to a tent. This guy, Paul, was in his sleeping bag jerking off in the afternoon, but he waited until two of us walked in. He begged us to pull down his sleeping bag to watch him jerk off.

The other guy told him to go to hell, he didn't want to see it, so he walked out.

I reached down and pulled back his sleeping bag until I saw his red, swollen dick in his hand. This guy was a red-head, so I was fascinated by his pubes - never seen a red head guy's pubes before. I think this was the first time I'd ever seen another guy's dick before - at least old enough to have pubes.

So Paul has dick in one hand, but he's staring at me staring at him. It seemed like his big red cockhead was pulsing in his fist, and he started saying:

"Phuck, you're watching me. You're watching me jerk my dick."

"You're watching me. you can see my big dick."

He was transfixed by my stare, so I pulled his sleeping bag ran down and stepped in between his legs. I was wearing shorts and sandals, so I sort of shoved his legs wider and apart as I stood over him, in between his legs. I had an obvious boner poking up in my shorts.

"Phuck," he said, "you like watching me jerk off. You like it!"

So I said, "Yes. Pull on it. I want you to pump it. C'mon, pull on it."

But Paul puts both of his hands behind his head. His red dick was twitching against his belly and he thrusts his hips upward. Paul starts to gasp like an asthma attack.

"AH! AH! AH!"

And he starts cumming without even touching himself. I couldn't take my eyes off this red dick, spurting every couple seconds, ejecting streams of cum on his belly and chest while grinding his hips upward, his hands behind his head, eyes closed, mouth gasping for air.

After that day at camp, the memory of his dick cumming in the air like that without the touch of his hand was the fuel for my own wanking sessions.

 

[jackNoff]

All these ways are bringing back memories!
I love the baggie in the couch cushion...it's so intense. And the hot tub or pool jets too.
But the strangest way i ever jacked off was in the kitchen. When my parents aren't home i like to be naked....i'll jack in every room if i want to. well, i was in the kitchen makin lunch, got horny and ended up humpin my sub sandwich.....needless to say there was extra mayo!

 

[randyreese]

Once as a young teenager down on the farm, I tried a milking machine.

 

[movieye]

Once as a young teenager down on the farm, I tried a milking machine.

Wow, what was that like? I have no idea how a milking machine works - does the "attachment" fit a penis? Too tight? Too lose?

Sorry, city boy here.

 

[billypilgrim]

Once as a young teenager down on the farm, I tried a milking machine.

ha, holy fuck. i read the whole thread sure that i'd have the weirdest story but you beat me to it. i fucked a milking machine when i was younger too.

it's a tight fit, because the opening at the end of the rubber attachment has a lip that's quite narrow. but once you're in the feeling is sensational. it's a pulsating suck, so it's suck..suck..suck..suck.

and it's just the right amount of suction to get milk out of a cows teat, so it doesn't rip your cock off or anything.

the dairy got something extra in the milk that week

i only did it once though, too much danger of getting caught by one of the farm workers

 

[dolphwasser]

I forgot about Pop's vibrating sander, too. That was a very nice feeling in the whole crotch area. But stay clear of the circular sanders, though. They tend to chafe a bit. And leave you with just a bit - if you're lucky.

 

[movieye]

LOL - Randy and Billypilgrim - I wonder how much of the milk supply has been enhanced by the local farmboy?

 

[Blahmicho]

hmm....my weirdest jerkoff was when I was 15. My earth science class had been using blue dye, and me and my friend smeared it all over our arms for fun.

Then later I'm home, I start to jack off, and my precum makes the dye run. Pretty soon my whole dick, hands, stomache, etc. was covered with sticky blue goo. It was incredibly weird, but very arousing.