Welcome to the Support & Advice Forum--PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING!

[Eagle653]

Welcome to the Not Out? No Problem! Discuss Safely Here Forum.

This is a safe place to explore issues relating to being closeted, or related to coming out. Coming to terms with our sexuality can sometimes be a confusing and complex process, and people handle the realities of their sexuality in different ways. Sometimes it helps to bounce ideas around and get perspectives of other people who are either struggling with the same issues, or who have "been there."

This forum is provided to share stories, ideas, advice, experiences, successes, or fears in a non-judgemental and supportive way. Toward that end, it is important to remember that all rules of behavior governing other JUB forums also apply to this forum, particularly:

• Personal attacks are not allowed.
• Disagreements should be limited to constructive alternative points of view, or even devil's advocate, without overly dogmatic/judgemental responses to someone's opinion, actions, or life-decisions.

Remember, this is a forum to "discuss safely." So that it is informative for all, please observe these rules of conduct and help make this an inviting place to candidly share some very difficult choices we all face.

Thanks for your help and we all look forward to your participation!

Eagle653
Forum Moderator

 

[tallguy297]

Posting In CO&R Guidelines And Moderation - Read This!

Guys,

There has been a noticeable change in the way that the CO&R forum has been operating over the last few months and it is of great concern to the mod team.

CO&R is a safe zone, a no flame zone and a forum that needs to work with the widest group of members anywhere on the JUB site. Our posters range from the young, scared, lonely, those who feel ostracised needing friends or just an ear, to those seeking support in coming out, to the older wiser world weary members who simply need to get a counter point of view to their own.

Its a fine balance, and one that requires deft touch and good judgment in the way posts are written, to whom they are written and the tone and language they use.

The most confronting issue facing us as a mod team is simply the noticeable lack of respect for other members opinions – especially the original thread starters.

Posts are being offered up as “challenging” the poster... and granted the first one may be. But some of the second, most of the thirds and everything after that by the same posters hammering away over and over the same points in more and more “challenging” tones constitute harassment, hijacking and most importantly for this forum, a lack of respect.

In no way are we trying to stifle debate or diversity of opinion - that is the last thing we want to do. The changes are in fact an effort to not only encourage the voices of new posters but hopefully to see the return of some regulars who have been discouraged by the recent tone here in CO&R.

The range of advice, the spread of thoughts and feelings, the differences in posting styles all make this forum something unrivaled and something we, and you, should be immensely proud of.

So, we will no longer tolerate over bearing, overly sarcastic, accusatory, belittling, condescending and repetitive posts.

Nor will we tolerate the endless debate that follows when these posts are challenged and re-challenged in an effort to have the last word with total disregard for the thread or the thread starter.

CO&R has always been a subtly moderated forum... a forum where members self- moderate. A forum where the advice and support speaks for itself, a forum where friendship, companionship and support are the norm and the gift given to those who feel like they can get that from no where else.

We as mods would strongly prefer it that way and want it to return to that standard without the need to be hard line. But rest assured, we are prepared to step in – and if necessary, be heavy handed.

Its time to think before you post - if you wouldnt say it out loud to the person if he were in front of you DONT POST IT HERE. Be calm, tolerant and respectful, nothing more nothing less.

Thanks for your consideration guys,

The Mod Team.

 

[spencer]

Re: Posting In CO&R Guidelines And Moderation - Read This!

While I've never reported a thread for it, back in June I wrote under site comments and suggestions, "It's getting to the point where people are almost harrassed because their view is automatically the wrong view."

I'm glad they're finally starting to realize it. It's part of the reason I post so much to actually try to help.

Thanks for trying to do something about it.