Well I did it. I ended the relationship. ...Shit

[gwailo]

I feel numb and empty but an odd sense of weight has been lifted

This was my decision.

The pain in his eyes...he didn't know what to say so he locked himself in the bathroom for a while and then left. I'm sitting in his apartment with his dog.

This has been a while in the works. We just weren't on the same page emotionally/physically/at all really. I was staying with him out of safety and comfortable...ness, not out of happiness. I feel like a completely selfish dick right now. And I'm angry with myself for making someone feel so much pain.

I know I did the right thing for me but he doesn't deserve this pain. No one does. He is a fantastic individule but not my soul mate

I wish I didn't get so attached to people and let them get attached to me. I hate that I hurt him.

I know I will be ok eventually even though I don't have many friends here since I moved here. Guess I will just try and stay busy with work..

Fuck.

 

[Conundrum]

Hugs from Malaysia! Time is just a constraint here

 

[medic1]

It is a really shitty feeling m8 especialy when the other guy is been nothing but nice,i think that it sounds as if he is inn a bit of shock just now especially if it has come out of the blue.
Dunno maybe your timing could have been better but i respect your honesty and you have to do what was right for you .
The reason why you are feeling shitty and blaming yourself tells me thay you are a decent fella ,but if it was not working then i think you did what was best.
Maybe if you try and sit down and explain it to him the way you have posted it here may help him a little bit,that is the bastard with ending a relationship one of you gets really hurt try and reassure him that he is a wonderfull man but that special thing just was not there for you ,for what it is worth your post shows someone who does care.
I wish you all the best and good luck m8.

 

[Lefty]

Hey oddball......

That took a man to do. Never mind the momentary pangs of pain and remorse.
He will take a day or three and will realize that story about the caged bird and
that cages work two ways.

He was in one too. Your snuggy secure perch was meant for a different cage.
The better to come clean before the hatred destroys you both (and it can) a
schism of this magnitude can heal. The suppurating sores and boils of frustration
and dissatisfaction, the rage of needs inadequately met on both sides, harbingers
of hell to come.

Justin, manning up often hurts but like weights at the gym, it is good for you
when done constructively. Congratulations is out of place at a time like this...
but....good on ya man.

Leave him a note saying you would like to get in touch some time later...
only if you would of course.

 

[KaraBulut]

Knowing the whole story from the earlier thread, it was the right thing to do.

You gave him chances to talk about the issue. You gave him chances to see a doctor. You did everything you could to save the relationship.

It was his choice not to make the changes that were needed to try to salvage the relationship.

And now the relationship has ended. This might be the wake-up call that he needs to fix the problem.

It's no fun and there will be hurt feelings for a while. But you're entitled to happiness and you weren't going to find it with someone who won't deal with their issues.

 

[gwailo]

Dunno maybe your timing could have been better...

Maybe if you try and sit down and explain it to him the way you have posted it here may help him a little bit,that is the bastard with ending a relationship one of you gets really hurt try and reassure him that he is a wonderfull man but that special thing just was not there for you ,for what it is worth your post shows someone who does care.
I wish you all the best and good luck m8.

This is actually exactly how I broke it to him. He did not seem mad at me. When he got back last night he thanked me for being honest. We share an apartment and he told me I didn't have to leave right away. I did not get the sense that he was desperately trying to keep me in his life, so I think I will stay here until I can find a place of my own in a practical way. Not out of hurried desperation. If I get the sense alterior motives were keeping me here I will find a quicker solution but we are currently arranging seperate bedrooms for now.

As for the timing.. I did this to myself before. After christmas, then after new years, then after valentines day, then after a birthday. Breaking up is never good timing. Something is always coming up soon that makes it inconvenient. I figured the band-aid approach was my only option here. /:

Hey oddball......

That took a man to do. Never mind the momentary pangs of pain and remorse.

Justin, manning up often hurts but like weights at the gym, it is good for you
when done constructively. Congratulations is out of place at a time like this...
but....good on ya man.

Leave him a note saying you would like to get in touch some time later...
only if you would of course.

Hey, sir.

The thing is, I. Don't feel the pain of losing him. I dunno if its cuz I'm still in shock as well or I just made peace with it during the relationship at some point. I know it tends to be easier for the individual who is ending the relationship, but I kinda just feel like its another day. What does that say?

 

[gwailo]

Btw thanks everyone for your support. I wish I was on here to talk about more positive stuff but knowing you guys are out there, if only to listen to my soap opera of problems -({|=) is really comforting. You are all actually making this significant change in my life a little easier

 

[Lefty]

Justy...........

I think you felt the pain of depriving someone of something they thought was
theirs. I think you felt the tug of time spent on a relationship.I think you felt
that anticipatory feeling one has on the way to the Dentist or the Health Clinic.

My post and opinion still stand but since they are merely the neighings of an
old Mesopotanian War horse known as "Ox-Head" I won't expect any heeding
thereof.

I am flattered by your subservient obeisance when utilizing the term Sir. If
that satisfies an inner need...so be it...I am not such a "Horses Ass" as to take
umbrage or even feel miffed if that moniker helps fulfill a fantasy/fetish.

Welcome home oddball,

Uncle Lefty

 

[gwailo]

Ed, you must get a lot of fiber in your diet swallowing a thesaurus every morning for breakfast!

But genuinely, your words (even the five dollar ones, no matter how little sense they make to me at times) show me that you care enough to take the time to construct them.

Thanks

 

[Lefty]

Dang if I don't thing I feel the idea for a T.V. sit com coming on......

it's almost spooky.........it would be about this impetuous still wet

behind the ears dude named Wilbur and his Caretaker/Guardian, a

very mature and wise dignified talking horse.....we will call the horse

and the show..............Mister Ed. My brilliance and my

creativity continue to amaze me and stun the masses.

 

[gwailo]

First you assume I want to reside on the island of misfit toys. now I gotta take care of you?

..just call me willy I suppose. Hope you like peanut butter

 

[Echoes]

you made the right choice, it's never easy but as you said you'll eventually feel better.

hugs.

 

[Lefty]

Gwailo,

I will listen and commiserate and suggest ideas or opinions.

I will tease and abuse you...ghosty, Justy. Spooky, Wilbur

But I won't never ever call you Willie with or without Boy.

If that happens, walk away, because I have.


Oh, and people love my penis butter.

 

[gwailo]

The day you call me Willie (with?) or whiteout Boy will be a sad day for me.

Thanks Echoes. It's nice to have such a supportive community

 

[chance1]

at the risk of being terribly redundant .........

you did good

you handled it better than most

i have heard from many friends that often times neither party makes the move to end it until it gets real bad - which is good for no one

you will feel better about this - not sure when but "soon"

its the kind of thing that defines who you are

and that appears to be a good guy

can't wait for the next story about "the new guy i met"

 

[gwailo]

thanks b.

It might be a while before that thread is posted. I'm shit at meeting new people and I'm not sure I'm all that interested in doing so right now. Y'all will definately be the first to know though!

 

[Lefty]

"Sides, he be gonna have so much fun oddballin ain't no real world

sitiashun goan inrest himself til leas beetymes New Ears....Shep and

Chaz is doing the back easy east drool.....and that horny semi mod

Brother Sir Ron (with his tribals) is prolly lurk-ooking from behind the skips

and dumpsters in GGG's newly renovated alleyway.

 

[Just_Believe18]

You made the right choice. I looked back at your earlier thread and absolutely agree that leaving him was the best option. If you have no sex life, you have no love life. A guy can't expect his partner to just no longer want sex anymore. Lacking that physical expression of intimacy will kill 99% of gay relationships.