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Well its over

irishdreamer2287

irishdreamer2287

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Hey guys, about three months ago I posted a topic on here that said something along the lines of " This time I think its for real". It was a post about how I thought I found my guy who I would have a long term relationship with. I know I was a bit naive because he was my first bf and I dunno i didn't have any experience in the dating world. Well anyway yesterday after about three months we broke up. We just didn't see things eye to eye anymore like we had in the beginning and even though it broke my heart i guess it is for the best. The thing that really saddens me is the fact that I took me so long to find him and he was nice and normal and not just after a hook up or whatever. I trusted him completely and I will always care about him. It sucks cause there are so many things that remind me of him that I just get so sad whenever I run across any of them. We have decided we will be better as friends but I know that it won't be the same. So I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.
 
The same thing happened to me. First BF, three months, thought it was a 'forever' thing and then we broke up. I went through all the feelings and thought you're describing. It just took me a lot of time to get over and ultimately resolved itself when i stopped feeling afraid of talking to him and angry and just let myself talk to him and communicate with him. Initially I tried that, but realized i needed time away and then after a lot of months, I opened up dialogue with him...just small things like "Hey", but that was what got me over him. We initially wanted to be friends, but I think we're both okay with just being former acquaintances.

It's not the end and you'll find someone else :) Just hang in there.
 
I feel your pain. Ive been through the same. I guess the old saying is true. "Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all." At least now you know what it feels like to love. You'll fall in love again someday but there is something unique about the first time. I really sucks getting over your first love.
My thoughts are with you.
 
First bf's are usually not the long term thing. You'll find someone next time that is more intellectually as well as sexually compatible.
 
I feel so bad for you. Breaking up is always hard, but the first one is the hardest. You already seem to have a good attitude about it. Hang in there; things will get better with time.
 
As someone who's still recovering from the first love as well, let me share some thoughts with you.

This thing you mentioned about so many things around you reminding you of him... that's really hard, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes it won't be so strong, but there will be days when nostalgia will take over you and on these days you better have your best friend's number close to you, so you can call and ask for a shoulder to cry on...

About trying to be friends after the breakup. I've decided the same with my ex, but know that it's not an easy task... it's been 4 months since we broke up and only now we are starting to get "normal" conversations, something with more than two words (and I see him almost every day...) and it's still kind of wierd. Just don't try to push things. It's normal to have a period of silence, when the two of you won't be confortable talking to each other. It's a time of adjustments, of accepting the situation... and forcing a conversation during this time may not be the best idea.

To make things short (too late, i know, lol) I'm still trying to get over him and don't really know how much longer will it take for it to happend, so I can't help you in that department. I only know that you'll have some good days and bad days while dealing with it. One day you'll think you're getting better, just to dicover on the next that you're not quite sure about it anymore... Just don't let it destroy you and your faith in love!
 
I
irishdreamer2287 said:
Hey guys, about three months ago I posted a topic on here that said something along the lines of " This time I think its for real". It was a post about how I thought I found my guy who I would have a long term relationship with. I know I was a bit naive because he was my first bf and I dunno i didn't have any experience in the dating world. Well anyway yesterday after about three months we broke up. We just didn't see things eye to eye anymore like we had in the beginning and even though it broke my heart i guess it is for the best. The thing that really saddens me is the fact that I took me so long to find him and he was nice and normal and not just after a hook up or whatever. I trusted him completely and I will always care about him. It sucks cause there are so many things that remind me of him that I just get so sad whenever I run across any of them. We have decided we will be better as friends but I know that it won't be the same. So I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening.
Click to expand...

I have the same situation brewing I think. I've been with this guy for two months, and seem to feel things slipping. Also first real boyfriend, and about the same time line. Hope it works out for me, and best of luck to you my friend
 
Hey guys, thanks so much for your replies to me. It means a lot that you guys cared enough to wish me well. I know that I will be alright. I think the major thing that upsets me besides actually breaking up with him is that I will have to start all over again...ya know? Looking for a guy that I think is normal and decent and that I trust. I go to a small comm college in PA so I don't really come across guys there. I chat online sometimes but its not the best place to meet guys (I don't think neway). So thats what is really depressing me right now is just that feeling of starting from scratch again.
 
I'm sorry Irishdreamer. :(

You are a nice guy and smart too. I know that someone you click with will come your way. It just takes time and some false starts sometimes. Hang in there. We'll be pulling for you, and hope that we are offering a congrats thread soon on a new and happy relationship! (*8*)
 
I'm sorry to hear that irishdreamer. My boyfriend of 4 months (and first serious relationship) broke up with me just a couple of weeks ago.

I wish I could offer you some advice, but I really can't. This is all new to me, too. But you seem to be doing alright, so I guess just try to look at the positive aspects of your relationship.
 
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